Your emerald eyes,
They shine in your joy,
But I can't see it.
The way a smile hovers above your chin,
How you laugh and joke,
Or the times you spend anxious or depressed,
I can't be there to comfort you,
I can't share my love with you.
Only these words I hope will make their way to you.
I'm missing you,
And it's tearing me apart.
Only 16 days until I'm in your arms once again,
But this summer has been an eternity.
I desire you.
To see your smile,
Hear your melodic voice.
My life is empty without you.
And so here I am,
Writing these words,
The only way I know to cope with my loneliness.
And so here I am,
Missing you my love.

I get easily jealous,
I know.
Whether it's past loves,
A flirty remark made,
Or even fictional characters.
I wouldn't call this jealousy "obsession"
That's what I felt towards 'him'
My first love.
I won't say It's not a problem,
But I also won't desert my own feelings.
After all,
My jealousy brought me to you.
I struggled with my emotions,
Believed I only looked up to you,
I refused to acknowledge this crush,
Until jealously made it clear as day.
It's a part of me,
A valid human emotion.
Say it's a flaw,
one of my faults,
but it has taught me valuable lessons.

Like a snowstorm,
You came crashing into my life.
Making me giggle,
And giving me happiness I had never known,
Snowflakes meeting my tongue were reminders of your kisses,
Your hugs came in flurries of snow angels,
As the cold snow surrounded me.
Your love warming me in its aftertaste.
And yet the summer came,
Making me long to see you again.
My love of winter is boundless,
But my love for you is an endless snowstorm.

I've always believed that I needed you,
That I had to be validated,
That parentless children could only be the sum of their genes. That my two shadows foresaw my only hope: a shadow myself. She, a mother who cant love, shown me her care recently.
But I no longer needed it.
I no longer craved it.
Her words though sweet - no longer held so much meaning.
Because I've met someone whose teaching me to validate myself.
To not speak so unkindly about who I am.
They tell me that I'm not a monster, and am special.
I've never felt more free or happier.
You, though someone I love,
cannot be my reason for living.
for you've proven untrustworthy,
In your lies and how my time is unimportant to you.
And so I shall learn to love myself.
I no longer need to attain that which is unattainable.