I’m afraid of Losing.
Afraid that I’m losing myself in your eyes,
That I’m losing to reality as I fall more and more for you,
That your losing patience with me,
And will leave.
Although I couldn’t blame you for it.
I’m a natural disaster,
Who couldn’t see herself in a brilliant light,
Even if it were magnified a hundred fold,
You’re collapsing,
Stress feeding your emotions,
And I can’t do much to help.
I’m afraid.
Afraid of losing you,
But I don’t want to hold so tightly as to scare you away.
As you see my true self more and more,
This feeling grows,
That I’m losing hold,
And soon you’ll slip.
That’s why,
I’m afraid of Losing.
Afraid of Losing you

If I were to see the night sky,
A vast sea through a telescope's lens,
depicting each star so brilliantly,
all my mind would travel to, was you.
Your my constant,
the sky above.
Each star reminding me of the twinkle that glimmers in your eyes,
The night sky as vast as the kindness that pools from your spirit.
I wish you could watch this sky with me,
hearing my thoughts,
understanding their origins.
Know how special and wonderful a being you are.
If only I could capture this moment,
pictured on this lens in my hue,
so you could see how you appear to my heart,
so you could see what everyone sees when you walk into a room.
How you have a glow about you,
that somehow manages to cheer a room up,
you bring an aura of fun and kindness where ever you tread.
Just ask anyone.
It's as plain as day.

You say you don't understand yourself,
That your childish.
You say so many things about yourself,
but why can't you be permitted to see through my gaze?
The line of sight that's locked with yours?
I say you don't know the half of it.
You have no idea of how your presence lights up a room.
I know I'm in the same boat,
I can't see myself through your perspective,
and this is just a game of words,
on repeat,
But my heart aches to explain to you these little things,
to show you how amazing you truly are.
Society can fall to ruin,
taking it's principles and corrupt morals with,
But I fell for you and that shining personality.
Not with the beliefs of the system in mind,
But simply because your you.
The wonderful, amazing person that you are.

Isn't it strange?
How a person has a feeling about them?
How a place holds a certain glow?
Every place you visit, every person you meet will have this sense about them.
A feeling you get from just that person, or just that place.
It's as if someone had painted it in a certain hue,
only recognizable to you.
No one will replicate how you see it,
Nor will they sense the place in quite the same way as you.
Yet doesn't everyone feel this way about places and people?
Or could I just be over thinking it once again?

weak.
broken.
Afraid.
Coward.
Shy.
I am a mosaic.
.... or I would be.
I'm still trying,
working hard to pick up the shards,
to glue the pieces back together,
one by one.
It was shattered.
They took turns,
swinging at the glass,
that crowd you see before you.
Those lingering shadows whose harmful words sting my hands,
as glass cuts through.
Blood trickles down my flesh,
old wounds barely healed.
A heart left open,
easily on display,
but fragile as it crashes.
... But a hand reaches to help pick up the pieces,
and more gather,
unaware of the shadows who loom beneath the surface.
So many hands reach out to help,
more than ever before.
And I catch myself in awe of all the people I met,
and the friends who share their kindness with me.
More than ever before,
and my heart can't help but to happily cry as gratitude pools over.
I'm so glad to have met everyone in my life this year.