Can you erase what you did to me?
Emotional abuse?
All the pain and the rage?
And could you pencil in
some trace of love?

I am nervous
I am a smoke alarm
I am not what you're looking for
I am an organized wreck
I am nervous

hey dollface.
I don't think you know
how truly
ugly
you really are

Head against the backboard
Sinking into the blue
I wanna save you
Before you sink too

If hate is what's inside us,
then hate is what defines us.

We are ******.
We are taught to love everyone.
even our enemies.
what value does that put on love?

There is a war inside us.
We are the lost.
The sick.
The broken.

You and me were invincible
Just two kids against a small town
You told me I was beautiful
But you were the king without a crown
And you said that only I knew
God, it was like your smile put the stars in the sky
The soundtrack of our summer was you and blink-182
Our last summer day, we danced with your preppy silk bowtie

She's lean and lanky,
And she sinks her eyes into your flesh.
Her bones hypnotize you,
The thought of touching her off-white skin sends you into a whirl.
Her black hair sits like sin on her shoulders,
And the emptiness haunts you when she's not here.
Her cherry lips constantly taunt yours,
and when she smiles, it's like
hearing The Beatles for the first time.
Charlotte.

They're brown.
Earth-colored, if you will.
With a slight tinge of green, if you hang around long enough.
But there's more.
There's history, of a tragic sort.
I doubt you'll stay around long enough,
To watch everything unravel.

6 letters.
I'm not some Nabokov beauty.
Well, technically, by age, yes.
I don't go for the older sort.
It was a term of endearment,
But now, it's pure rage.

5'3".
I have a tiny frame. Smaller than most.
I'm not intimidating.
You can pick me up, and throw me down.
(Though I'd prefer you wouldn't.)

32.
Battle wounds. They tell my story.
All over.
Wrists, forearms.
Thighs, hips, ankles.
It's too easy.

13 years.
13 years filled with pain and insanity.
Filled to the brim with memories.
Terrifying memories of watching *****-induced tirades.
They were so oblivious to my cold breath.

L.A likes tan.
Workout clothes,
To prove that your body
Wasn't crafted by the Gods

New York  City likes pale.
Chic fashions,
To prove you aren't from
Queens.

L.A likes thin & healthy.
They scream out,
"WE HATE FAT PEOPLE."
And their year-long sun
Lets you show off your
2 inch thighs.

NYC likes thin & ******.
They hiss it at secret cocktail parties.
But they don't want you to show off.
You need to drown in sweaters.


You're perfect, love.
Keep smiling<3

I'm stuck to a chair
I can't go anymore
I'm in distress
Take my heart
It's all yours to caress
Pull me out of this
Black hole,
out of this conversation.

Charlotte sat and thought of all the beauty he told her of
She needed him tonight; he didn't need her
Another teenage heart racing with pain

Jeremy sat and thought of the new girl
The new girl with her flowing blonde hair
He wanted her tonight; she didn't want him
Another teenage heart racing with lust

Charlotte sat and thought of the boy she met a week later
The boy with his messy hair and odd sense of humour
She loved him tonight; he loved her too
Another teenage heart racing with satisfaction

Jeremy sat and thought of his only love, Charlotte
Charlotte, with her choppy brown hair and crooked smile...and her new boyfriend
He missed her tonight, and tomorrow too; she didn't miss him tonight or ever again
Another teenage heart racing with nostalgia

You and your beautiful eyes
Calmed my pain with beautiful lies
But you've got this art all wrong.
Because if you're not going to tell me the truth,
Being better at lying is something you might need to try

I'm crazy.
Psychotic, mildly schizophrenic.
Bipolar, severely depressed.
But you like it.

You're sane.
Mormonly sane, rational.
Controlled, compartmentalizing.
But I hate it.

clouds fill with rain and thunder.
thoughts of you only drift you further.
hopes for sweetness only make me bitter.
my heart is useless when I'm only clutching onto nothing.
dark rings circling my eyes, full of tears.
longing and waiting, but your promise never appeared.
promises made up of empty words.
trust betrayed by lines and verses.
horrible moments can't be reversed.
am I stuck in a never-ending curse?

I'm a sucker for nylons
And cherry red lipstick.

She wears them,
and it sends me reeling.

She doesn't know how I love her still.
She smells like the Chanel I gave her.

But she left me out here in the cold,
a million miles from our home.

Sometimes
Things get really bad
And I get ****** into
The blue.
The deep, deep blue.
And I can't get out.
Then what do I do?

I said no more fighting tonight,
but I know I'll call you back when I find out.

How am I supposed to feel?

Don't try to call me;
Don't try to text me.

This is just a warning,
because after
4 missed calls,
and 3 ignored texts,

You still slept with my best friend.

Say my name
And her name
in the same breath.

I dare you to say they taste the same.

Trying so hard to get out of the blue
The deep blue
That's drowning me,
Swallowing me whole

Trying so hard
to get a reaction
trying to get some kind of sign
that everything will be alright.

There's a hell, darling.
It's in you.
Your perfectly coiffed hair
hides a mind so evil,
the Antichrist should be scared.

There's a hell, darling.
It's in you.
Behind your beautiful blues,
Are intentions so cruel.

There's a hell, darling.
It's in you.
With your sparkling tan, and your Tiffany necklace,
No one would suspect a heart with hate filled to the brim.

There's a riot in my head
Taking over my thoughts
Sweeping over me
Controlling what I do
Commanding what I say
Silence on the outside
Screaming on the inside, just waiting to blow.

Maybe I'll do this forever
Sit here with my favorite blue pen and write.
I'll sit and write, and maybe,
Just for tonight,
Everything will be alright.

I hate spending time with you.
I hate seeing your sparkling eyes.

I hate having to hear that voice that used to calm me down,
When all it does now is rile me up.

I hate seeing perfect you.
When I know all I can be is me.

Let's have one good stretch before our hibernation
We can sleep when we're dead
and who cares?
All we are is a pair of teenagers
Standing closer to the edge than we should be allowed

I will kick you.
I will look at you.
I will say that I hate you. (I won't really mean it.)
I will cuss you out.
I will let you fall.
I will ignore you.
I will not look you in the eyes.
I will stay silent for you.
I will catch you.
I will lie for you.
I will change for you.
I will lie in the middle of the road with you.
I will never leave you.
I will love you.

I don't   believe.
Have  faith in me.
Come   with me, we'll be on Broadway in a matter of seconds.
To   the moon, dear.
The   state of his mind doesn't please me.
Understanding   life is a ridiculous concept.
That   puts things into perspective, no?
Everyone   dies.
Lives   for the money, dies for the poor.
For you   I'd risk it all.
Pain   shows love.

Here's our song
A song for the kids who are home, dateless, on a windy Saturday night
Humming Nirvana songs till 3 in the morning with their best friends.
For the ones who aren't afraid to say they like Katy Perry.
A hymn for the shameless.

You said you wouldn't trust girls like me.
Bodies with complexes.
Girls with lipstick, not hearts.
Outcasts, liars, fakes.
But honey, are you really willing to start a war of the sexes?
Because if so, I swear you'll fall apart.

I   don't believe.
Have  faith in me.
Come   with me, we'll be on Broadway in a matter of seconds.
To   the moon, dear.
The   state of his mind doesn't please me.
Understanding   life is a ridiculous concept.
That   puts things into perspective, no?
Everyone   dies.
Lives   for the money, dies for the poor.
For you   I'd risk it all.
Pain   shows love.

Will you come home and stop this tonight?
I know you're thousands of miles away,
But I'm still living with your ghost.
When are you gonna understand
That I can't wait through all this?

Charlotte
She screams to me,
"You're so beautiful in blue!"
If only she knew,
That her unfathomably beauty,
Was a universal break through.

My god, he's gorgeous.
His smile puts the stars in the sky.
But I suffer from girlnextdooritis.
I'll always be his best friend.
Just his best friend.
Because God knows I can't compete with his blonde, leggy girlfriend.

I choked on that sentence
The ultimate betrayal
But couldn't he see?
It wasn't him
It was me

One day, this will all be in the past
Just a silly day, ******* in painful, silky ribbons
This'll be a scar, faded and smooth
But right now, we'll live through this hell
And we'll wait for karma to hit them
Before we do.

Should I apologize to such pathetic eyes?
Such tragic, pathetic eyes.
Her once-perfect eyes betrayed her
More than any man could.
Is she satisfied?

Tyler Clemente: age 18.
Billy Lucas: age 15.
Harrison Chase Brown: age 15.
Cody J. Parker: age 17.
Seth Walsh: age 13.

who gave you the right to judge these boys?
It's pretty ****** sad.
You think you're a clean-cut, all-American,
but you really ain't so clean.

Do you know what it's like?
When memories make you wince?
When notes read like obituaries and photo albums reek of goodbyes?
July feels like December
And I can't stand the sight of you tonight.

Dead girls don't just appear out of thin air.
Her presence stuns me.
Is this what you call revenge?
You weren't meant to live.

10 shaking fingers
Trace 9 fading scars
I think 8 new fatal thoughts
Within 7 minutes, she decides
6 wounds will be enough
She know in 5 minutes, she'll be gone
The 4 pillows propping her up start to fall
As 3 tears start to roll down her cold cheeks
2 swollen eyes start to lose sight
As 1 life starts to drain.

racing thoughts
&
pounding hearts
plague me
all night
oh, how i wish to be thoughtless.

Look at you, you miserable fool!
Get off your knees, your prayers are falling upon deaf ears
God's turned his back on you, heaven's gates are shut
And now you're knocking on the devil's door.

I've been expecting you for some time, sir
Allow me to introduce myself.
I'm the girl that's gonna end your world.
You're lucky I don't **** you where you stand!

You're scared to death, but who's to blame?
I am all you fear, and I can see you shaking now.
I might be the one to **** you,
But I don't believe they dig graves close enough to hell for the likes of you.

Sparkling tears
Shiny and bright
washing away the sorrow you most graciously gave to me
No longer drenched in the grimy pain
I love you too, rain.

Sit and stay
Talk to me on this restless night
I know not your sorrow,
But trust me, dear,
I know mine
A few cuts, a few scars.
So, sit and stay
Let's whisper in this dusty car.

Tell me I'm dreaming.
Say it's alright.
Tell me I'm not watching my blood drip.
Whisper that it'll all be over soon.
Don't torture me anymore.

I don't know what you see.
The curves of these words, the flow of my lines.
They're not beauty.
But at least, I can say without fear,
That they're mine.

It's been A Day To Remember
A time to distinguish the Artist Vs. Poet
Soon, it'll be time to Escape The Fate with me
Promise me, love, we won't fall Within Temptation
And maybe one day, we can diagnose Jane's Addiction.

Your eyes, full of hate
They cut through my skin, leaving jagged edges in my mind
These cuts are deeper than they seem, bruising what's left of my body
And taking the rest of my sanity
You're pushing me
Pushing me towards self destruction, annihilation
You cut right through me

I've never struck a match with the intention to start a fire
Not until tonight
But since you have a *** drive that's push to desire
Was she really worth this ******* fight?

Everyone worries about the distance
How long it takes to get from here to there
When they'll get back
But me?
I don't worry
Because all I know, is that on this map,
You're only inches away