I thought of you today and the thought made me smile,
Memories came thick and fast that haven’t surfaced
for a while

I thought of you today and the tears began to flow,
Hospital rooms, hushed goodbyes and you asking us to
let you go,

I thought of you today but then that’s nothing new,
Each day throughout the year are filled with thoughts
of you

Voice cracking
Fighting the tears
Yelling and screaming
Never ending
No laughter
No happiness
Heart breaking
Can't keep going
Constantly bending
Trying not to snap
Always more
Never ceasing
Tension and Stress
Still shouting
No love
Just anger
Resentment
Bitterness
I quit

If these petals are soaked in blood,
Then it is the blood
of soldiers
shot before
they could return the favor.

If these petals are soaked in blood,
Then it the blood
leaking down teenage arms
those that so dearly
want pain to end.

If these petals are soaked in blood,
Then it is the blood
of those murdered
whose lives ended
without meaning.

If these petals are soaked in blood,
Then it is the blood
of a broken heart
that doesn’t bleed,
but wishes it did.

If these petals are soaked in blood,
Then it is the blood left unspilled
that lives to let live
and dies only when death takes it
to soak these petals.

Remember that chick
who pulled her hair back in a ponytail
had glasses
and wore ripped jeans
that she Sharpied murals on
out of boredom.

You’d see her in class sometimes
mumbling to herself
and doodling
while the teacher droned on
about the scientific method
and she always made you curious
but you could never get close enough
to hear what she was saying
or see what she was writing.

She promised herself that one day
she’d keep a diary
to keep track of the truth
but every time she tried
it turned into a collection of
half-thought-poems
and half-drawings of half-things
half-human and half-something else.

Never autobiographical
never the truth.

She seemed like the kind of girl
who is a self proclaimed vegan
scrawny little thing
with ex-hippie parents
like if you ever talked to her
she would be all in for face
about “going green man.”

So she took you by surprise
when she beat the fattest kid in the class
at that hot-dog eating contest
that chubby ******* didn’t stand a chance.

She told me one day
that she thinks
the truth is just the lie
that you tell yourself the most often.

People called her “book-smart”
because she wore glasses
and was bad at math.
But she wasn’t really.

She was people-smart
in the way a scientist is rat-smart.

She’d sit on the swings at recess
and watch people
her eyes were concerned
like there was something they had
that she lacked.

Her locker was always empty
she took everything home
every night
she left
no residue
no aftermath
no memory behind.

She dreamed of living out of her car
and opening a coffeeshop
and being free.

She knew she was destined
to prove there was no such thing as destiny.
That we make our own reality.

And all of this you found
endearing and admirable.

Remember that chick?

...of course you don't.

Patient though my heart may be
Its bounds shall not exceed
Thy tender loving creed

And open though my eyes may be
They live within a dream
Thy flaws remain unseen

And truthful though my voice may be
Its words shall not reveal
Thy heart how I would steal

And curious though my ears may be
They’d refuse to ever hear
Thy honest truth I fear

And trusting though my soul may be
It’d struggle to believe
Thy words of kind reprieve

So troubled though my mind may be
My self restraint shall free
Thy pain of knowing me

For longing though my heart may be
Its pride won’t let it speak
For thy love is out of reach

A beautiful face
A tender embrace
A smile that
Leads you astray

With puppydog eyes
That serve to disguise
Her deceitful lies
On the way

You’ll act and pretend
Let your tolerance bend
Tell yourself you’ll believe
What she’ll say

Now you know you’re a fool
But you’ll break every rule
Just as long as with you
She will stay

I shouldn’t have to
tap my feet
to help me
keep in time

I shouldn’t have to
think so hard
to make up
every rhyme

I shouldn’t have to
take a pill
to help me
cope with pain

I shouldn’t have to
ask for hail
to get
a little rain

I shouldn’t have to
apologize
for everything
I do

I shouldn’t have
care for him
to prove
I care for you

I shouldn’t have to
write all this
to get my
message through

I shouldn’t have to
waste my time
when there’s nothing
I owe to you

My head is in the clouds
Between the quiets and the louds
It would be a fatal fall
Like that concerns you at all
I'll  keep holding onto a star
As you burn out your last cigar
Suspended between the ground and sky
I can't help that I was born to fly

It's just like any other day
I gaze at you from far away
And you don't have a single clue
I'm hopelessly in love with you
I'm innocent now, can't you see?
My dreams will have to set me free.