I think
There's something so wrong
And disgusting
About ***.
I know,
Im unnatural
And it isn't.

Look at me*
Tremors wrack my
Tense,
Paranoid form.
There's nothing wrong with you.
My mouth hangs slightly open,
And I believe the man
Who waits patiently
within my head.

Go away from me
      I deserve to be unseen
I'm just so
           *******
                    Ugly

The only things
That're sweet to me
Is blood
And *****.

I miss nights
Where the saga
Of Coheed and Cambria
Filled my head.
When my violin sang
Sweetly in tune with my mind.
Tonight, there's nothing but silence
And all my instruments are sitting
Broken.
I have no more favorite albums
To sing me
Slowly
To sleep.
All I have is me
And a couple broken strings.

Love is something else today, not Disney with their lies.
I learned the hardest way that love can mean demise.
Love is not enough today, despite the times we tried
Tried and true, our triggers do- they start to dry our eyes.
"Empty clips for broken hearts"- they should put that on a sign
I could make a million dollars but I can't leave this heart behind
Like shattered glass, I'm deadly, but just half of what could be
Like shattered hearts we always hang the pieces in the trees
Like necks in nooses, willingly, this love could set you free.
We beat the **** out of each other because the best love costs a fee.

Four missed calls
From a number unknown.
More anxiety.
Who would need to speak
At this hour?
I won't call back,
Because it could be a ghost
And they could trap me with their voice.

Dude, I ******* made you-
You hated who you were.
Thank me with a severed spine,
And wishes on a star.
Empty hands, I used to hold
But you've taken them too far.
Everything I had in me;
it's everything you are.

I held your hand
With caution,
I thought you took mine by mistake.

These dreams could make the corpses bleed I keep beneath my bed,
and these stitches couldn't really be 'till I had them in my head
You used to call me in the hospital and laugh with me,
and cry.
Now you're handing me a knife and offering a ride.

It hurts when
The voices abandon me.
I need the noise
To keep my thoughts at bay.

I don't know
How to accept
Anyone being kind.
It's gotten to the point
Where I just feel
Heartbreak in advance.

I became fire
Licking at canvas- deep and blue.
Clutching tin with sharp edges
And biting at a ball in my lip.

My tongue's in knots,
My heart is ice.
*Violence sells-
But so can I.

I can't even be honest creatively anymore.
She killed him.
I miscarried.
There's a poem in here somewhere,
I just can't tell it to you.

Since I was little,
I'd drag my nails across
My skin until I bled.
Teeth clenched,
Body tense-
So then I could
Dream.

He took my hand,
And led me up the stairs.
Past his younger brother
That I went to school with.
When we got to his room
He threw me against walls
Grabbed my hair
Slammed my head against the bed post.
I stayed quiet,
Because no one
Will hear me whimper like
A wounded animal.

There was one last lipstick stained cigarette
In the ashtray
Laced with memories I could forget

Can I **** another night
Or maybe just myself
All this angers hurting me
Make me ashes on a shelf

Can I see them?**
I sighed, and rolled up my sleeves.
I was puzzled by the boy
and offended.
He ran his fingers across my soul.

I'm weary.
Forsaken.
I think I'll
**** myself.

I wanted to die in the trees
Shed my broken skin like ***** ticks and fleas
Have my spirit dog the falling leaves
While branches dip themselves in grief

Paranoia has settled it's way
Back into my diseased head.
I hide from the eyes
Of windows
And I'm trembling again.

I don't feel anything
Besides a storm
And the knife between my thighs.
I'm sorry.
I want you.
I want me.
But right now
All I am is bleeding.

The days are good, but the nights are cold
and there are always gunna be things out of control
Cant pay rent, but I can pack a bowl
Sometimes I'm sad, but it's not all that I know
Your heart's only as heavy as your mind defines,
you can't keep on your foot on the brake when its time to drive
You gotta rise up
and be floored just to floor it
sometimes life hurts but you just gotta ignore it.

My head aches,
My hands and legs shake,
Caffeine drenched just to feel awake.

**”-...Anna? Did you take your meds?”

My voice is soulful gravel
Cleansing crystal
Grinding in my throat
Wailing, whining out
Hoon's Great Escape.

If I cant get rid of this sickness
Ill be dead before I even get the chance
To ******* dreams
And notice that things aren't as bad as they seemed.
Im just so stuck in this mindset
And the ghosts I can't forget
Reaching for anything I can
Just so I don't have to deal with it.
So ashamed,
so caught up in a game
I invented
But can cope enough to play.
Tell me souls can change
Hell, you could tell me anything
'cause **** starts feeling real
when you describe the way the night feels
And the pain my breath instills
when I try to give my everything
But can't find my own free will

Midnight talks,
Spinning words like
Wheels burned out on pavement.

My skin feels like you kept it.

I watched him drown,
I didn't dare move
The beauty took my breath away.

I'd give anything to be the blade between her teeth,
to be the irony that inspires her unease
As she drifts unwillingly
and tastes of salt and sea- foam dreams,
Stars fall upon our cheeks,
While she speaks in tongues like winds from east
and I sit quietly
sipping on every note that she can sing.

You wreak
Of blood.
You muderer!*
I only hurt myself.

I'll hold your hand
If you can make me fall
Or get me to stand again.

Entire weeks spent
In passion,
-not love,
But
*****,
Fevered
Passion
And then, I fell apart.
You lost me
In my grief and anger.
You said you cared 'a lot'
I told you to **** yourself.
Then nothing.
You moved on to the real thing
I moved states.

I love your words
Before I let them leave
Your mouth
Because
Believe me,
Just the taste is enough.

We made it to the east coast
i saw the ocean, mom.
Dad saw a needle.
My ole man yelled and held my hand

I am burdened
By things that want to claim me.
I brought them over
Through blind stupidity.

Things haunt me
That I have not a right to feel.
******* is the anthrax
To my limited mind.
It knocks on my doors,
Peels back my eyelids.
Scratches ****** paths
Through brick walls of my conscience.
It is the appeal of sugar, to the child
Sick with diabetes.
It is forbidden fruit
That I have not the heart to taste.

All I need
Is fire and a memory.
All you did was brand me.

People like you
always run out of time
For people like me.
I'm wretched,
I'm sick.
I'm never good enough for
Anything good.

Be fierce, little firefly and dance around the dust
In honesty- your glowing's ceased, and life is only lust