I think
There's something so wrong
And disgusting
About ***.
I know,
Im unnatural
And it isn't.

Look at me*
Tremors wrack my
Tense,
Paranoid form.
There's nothing wrong with you.
My mouth hangs slightly open,
And I believe the man
Who waits patiently
within my head.

I'm weary.
Forsaken.
I think I'll
**** myself.

He took my hand,
And led me up the stairs.
Past his younger brother
That I went to school with.
When we got to his room
He threw me against walls
Grabbed my hair
Slammed my head against the bed post.
I stayed quiet,
Because no one
Will hear me whimper like
A wounded animal.

Nothings sweeter
Than my heart-shaped mouth
Nothings more bitter, either.

I still paint with words and hate the taste
but I'll never take for granted
the ones you waste.

I wanted to die in the trees
Shed my broken skin like ***** ticks and fleas
Have my spirit dog the falling leaves
While branches dip themselves in grief

I'd give anything to be the blade between her teeth,
to be the irony that inspires her unease
As she drifts unwillingly
and tastes of salt and sea- foam dreams,
Stars fall upon our cheeks,
While she speaks in tongues like winds from east
and I sit quietly
sipping on every note that she can sing.

Blue eyed secret keeper
He held me and was still my reaper
Tequila scythed, taking life with needy fever
I wanted you to love me.
but the broken cannot see.
It's turns out that love is not the only thing I need.

I don't feel anything
Besides a storm
And the knife between my thighs.
I'm sorry.
I want you.
I want me.
But right now
All I am is bleeding.

I'll hold your hand
If you can make me fall
Or get me to stand again.

Dude, I ******* made you-
You hated who you were.
Thank me with a severed spine,
And wishes on a star.
Empty hands, I used to hold
But you've taken them too far.
Everything I had in me;
it's everything you are.

Four missed calls
From a number unknown.
More anxiety.
Who would need to speak
At this hour?
I won't call back,
Because it could be a ghost
And they could trap me with their voice.

I watched him drown,
I didn't dare move
The beauty took my breath away.

These dreams could make the corpses bleed I keep beneath my bed,
and these stitches couldn't really be 'till I had them in my head
You used to call me in the hospital and laugh with me,
and cry.
Now you're handing me a knife and offering a ride.

Can I see them?**
I sighed, and rolled up my sleeves.
I was puzzled by the boy
and offended.
He ran his fingers across my soul.

I fell apart so fluidly, I'm always breaking down
I built this place for both of us, but I only see the ground
Tell me what it's like, when you think you've lost all hope
While your eyes still burn like fire and I'm choking on this smoke
I believed in everything you knew you couldn't do,
I believe you lied to me,
and you believe it, too.

Love is something else today, not Disney with their lies.
I learned the hardest way that love can mean demise.
Love is not enough today, despite the times we tried
Tried and true, our triggers do- they start to dry our eyes.
"Empty clips for broken hearts"- they should put that on a sign
I could make a million dollars but I can't leave this heart behind
Like shattered glass, I'm deadly, but just half of what could be
Like shattered hearts we always hang the pieces in the trees
Like necks in nooses, willingly, this love could set you free.
We beat the **** out of each other because the best love costs a fee.

My fingertips are runny, they drip and ooze with ink
I keep them tied with garbage bags and drain them in the sink
Shades so dark, they'll break your heart- of those, I do not drink.
If I'm always cleaning up a spill, I don't have to stop and think.

Be fierce, little firefly and dance around the dust
In honesty- your glowing's ceased, and life is only lust

You burn yourself away
On my silver tongue and taste
because Im the only light
That makes your darkness seem okay.

Your lonely poems used to be of comfort to me,
your new perspective on repeat
was guaranteed to make them bleed
but they're exactly what I need.

All I need
Is fire and a memory.
All you did was brand me.

We made it to the east coast
i saw the ocean, mom.
Dad saw a needle.
My ole man yelled and held my hand

The days are good, but the nights are cold
and there are always gunna be things out of control
Cant pay rent, but I can pack a bowl
Sometimes I'm sad, but it's not all that I know
Your heart's only as heavy as your mind defines,
you can't keep on your foot on the brake when its time to drive
You gotta rise up
and be floored just to floor it
sometimes life hurts but you just gotta ignore it.

I can't even be honest creatively anymore.
She killed him.
I miscarried.
There's a poem in here somewhere,
I just can't tell it to you.

You always slip away,
like dirt within a drain,
Like a knot above the doorway,
like the hurt before the pain,
You resign yourself to irony, resign yourself to rest
Like knives beneath my pillowcase,
*Like daggers in my head.

Go away from me
      I deserve to be unseen
I'm just so
           *******
                    Ugly

Midnight talks,
Spinning words like
Wheels burned out on pavement.

My voice is soulful gravel
Cleansing crystal
Grinding in my throat
Wailing, whining out
Hoon's Great Escape.

I miss nights
Where the saga
Of Coheed and Cambria
Filled my head.
When my violin sang
Sweetly in tune with my mind.
Tonight, there's nothing but silence
And all my instruments are sitting
Broken.
I have no more favorite albums
To sing me
Slowly
To sleep.
All I have is me
And a couple broken strings.

I did something unforgivable.
I am wretched
Selfish
Stupid
Who am I to get better
When my heart is decaying
Because I keep letting
You down.

My head aches,
My hands and legs shake,
Caffeine drenched just to feel awake.

**”-...Anna? Did you take your meds?”

I hate all this rain
And I wish you were dead
'Cause I know you'll never love a girl whos
Heart hurts her head.

There was one last lipstick stained cigarette
In the ashtray
Laced with memories I could forget

You wreak
Of blood.
You muderer!*
I only hurt myself.

I held your hand
With caution,
I thought you took mine by mistake.

If I cant get rid of this sickness
Ill be dead before I even get the chance
To ******* dreams
And notice that things aren't as bad as they seemed.
Im just so stuck in this mindset
And the ghosts I can't forget
Reaching for anything I can
Just so I don't have to deal with it.
So ashamed,
so caught up in a game
I invented
But can cope enough to play.
Tell me souls can change
Hell, you could tell me anything
'cause **** starts feeling real
when you describe the way the night feels
And the pain my breath instills
when I try to give my everything
But can't find my own free will

My tongue's in knots,
My heart is ice.
*Violence sells-
But so can I.

If I had the will,
I would cut my lips away
to be a face of bared teeth
And unsettling disgust.

Since I was little,
I'd drag my nails across
My skin until I bled.
Teeth clenched,
Body tense-
So then I could
Dream.

What's bothering you?
The dryness of my tongue.
The itch in my mind.
The bugs beneath my skin and between my teeth.
Nothing.