I can't even be honest creatively anymore.
She killed him.
I miscarried.
There's a poem in here somewhere,
I just can't tell it to you.

It's three in the morning
Again.
I'm awake still.
Weary
And so ******* tired.
But things are the same as they've always been.

It was cigarettes
And ****** up nights
You know you should regret.

I just want to hug you
One last ******* time,
And tell you it's okay not to want me anymore,
Because I know who I am.

If I live to be young
I will sail,
With my tongue,
Away from whiskey and
You
To the sea's deepest blues.

Sweet-ice wrote me
one more poem
To send soft chills back up my spine.
Her sincerity is
the sweetest breeze
That suffocates me every time.
She makes my mind awake-
That turbulent
Sweet-ice girl.

I cut my hair.
I was sick of myself,
Burning in my own flesh.
I only left the back long.
For rough nights with *****,
Tequila,
Beer,
And him.
I cut my wrists.
Still sick of myself.
Still burning.
But this time,
I left him nothing,
But rough nights with beer,
Tequila,
And bar *****.

I'm a box beneath your bed
Of letters, left unsent
Unsaid words of lost apologies
And misguided misogyny

In case you didn't know-
I can be so ******* beautiful.

You used to call me,
******* wasted
So I could sing you to sleep.
You liked
The rough satin of my voice,
That hinted at
Sorrow
And ***.

"you're shaking, ***."
she wears a concerned look.
"It's my meds. "
I ******* hate myself.
"You've been in bed all day."
I close my eyes to nausea
to pain
"Yeah. Sick."*
My whole mind and body quakes
I'm a monster,
in the midst of eternal transfiguration
I'm in withdrawal.

He calls me often
To try and take me out.
I don't understand why
He wastes his time
Pitying me.
He knows I won't leave my house
If he doesn't make me.
Because I hate to see the sun when I'm so certain
It isn't real.

My voice is soulful gravel
Cleansing crystal
Grinding in my throat
Wailing, whining out
Hoon's Great Escape.

I miss when you'd whisper
Secrets and dreams
In my ear
Under stars and summer moonlight
While you picked at your guitar
With a lighter
And a smile.

I hate all this rain
And I wish you were dead
'Cause I know you'll never love a girl whos
Heart hurts her head.

I wanted to die in the trees
Shed my broken skin like ***** ticks and fleas
Have my spirit dog the falling leaves
While branches dip themselves in grief

little pills to balance mood and hospital stays
days and nights melt, seeing only shades of grey
microbursts of blackout pain
ideas of nine bullets in an alleyway
I bite the blame with a razor blade
and think in metaphors and bright red stains
sat and stared at glass from broken frames
spat blood, turned, and walked away.

lashes catch the angel dust,
Tongue sizzles on the sun
He was born to be a mockingbird
He was born without a gun.

I carved you away
with a bitterless taste
No ache in my heart
No laying awake
I'm ******* great.

I don't believe in breath
Because it seems the world lacks interest
In anything but ***
And how to breed
And to infest.

We made it to the east coast
i saw the ocean, mom.
Dad saw a needle.
My ole man yelled and held my hand

"why do you have so many cuts?"
i throw things.
i clutch my chest.
because nothing ever matches this,
nothing ever does!

Alcohol is
My anguish-
Agony-
My ******* Lucifer
Saving me and
leaving me empty.

You traced your words in sadness, dear
You dotted 'i's with fear
You casted spells and wondered how you called those demons here
*But I do not want those things again

Your words are generic,
Your mouth- just a hole.
You can match every syllable
But you can't match this soul.

Four missed calls
From a number unknown.
More anxiety.
Who would need to speak
At this hour?
I won't call back,
Because it could be a ghost
And they could trap me with their voice.

I'd be gay,
Too
If i had to take
(pictures of)
your ****.

I wish I wouldn't wake
In the smallest hours of morning
With a headache
And hushed voices
Coaxing me to open my weary eyes.
I know what I'll  awake to-
The Dark Thing so near my bed,
Beckoning across layers
For an untimely death.

Oh, have the past few months surprised me
You disappeared-
All the way to Germany.
When you reappeared
You were that Train song
back in the atmosphere, drops of jupiter in your hair
That took my breath away.

There was one last lipstick stained cigarette
In the ashtray
Laced with memories I could forget

I don't feel anything
Besides a storm
And the knife between my thighs.
I'm sorry.
I want you.
I want me.
But right now
All I am is bleeding.

All these lines-
A hit here,
          A shot there
They cross and cover us
   They complicate us.
**But we drew them.

She begs me
Not to slice feeling from my heart
Or stitch the pieces of my skin.
I laughed,
Because as beautiful as she is
She doesn't understand
The difference in itches.

Go away from me
      I deserve to be unseen
I'm just so
           *******
                    Ugly

Ghosts fall at the altar
For you on loan,
Begging to be taken home
stop her! stop her!
Leave our throne.
Ghosts don't help
When you're
Alone.

I will always love
And I will always be taken advantage of
I've got problems with the moon
But I might be over it soon
And over you, too.

My father likes to text me
When he's all ****** up.
He likes to blame me
And tell me I'm just
Trash.
That he wishes I was dead.
That I did this to myself
To take it out on him.
I smile now. And silence my phone.

My moms boyfriend
Clearly doesn't like gays.
So...
I'm now accepting applications
For my next girlfriend.

I only like my lip ring
Because it makes me feel
Like words are constantly
On the edge of my mouth-
Sometimes warm,
And sometimes so cold
I shiver.

You can keep me in a locket
And rip memories from our pockets
You can take your lips away from mine
But ill still be on your mind.