When I had friends,
They were in awe of me
And sulked like lesser beings
But in all truth,
I was just a little girl
Surprised to make it in
The big leagues.

I'm in an affair with words,
Because they grip me on my darkest nights,
and give me something to chew on when I'm hungry
They provide themselves up as sacrifices
To my God
When I tell the priest to **** himself.
They excite, and escape me like a teasing lover-
But they always come back.
I will love no one
Like I love their words.

It hurts to think
About how much I make you feel
Like you're standing too close to lightning.
How much you can't help
But ******* want me and
My whiskey flavored lips,
And how close you let me get
When I know you're just another meaningless
Kiss.

I wanted to be
That radiant wreck
I always see;
A frail frame
And mischievous smile.
But all I became
Was a ghost.

Take another hit,
another sip-
just for that ******* second
of gorgeousness.
When what you knew was never there
besides another fight,
Escape becomes your only chance and
Drugs become your right.
The worst thing is
I know they're mine
and I even see the signs-
when all I have is crumbling-
when ***** is divine.
I'm losing thought
And everything
I thought that I would need-  
It hurts me every time
I wake
and every time I see.

Silver scars to my fingertips,
Slits and rips all down my hips,
Mirrors broken under influence-
Because I just couldn't handle it.
I wished for hands that see
And hearts to feel
But delusions of the populous
Had mass appeal.
Their masks revealed
Every kid ever under it
Was a smoking gun
There to shoot
The son unfit.