I cough on nails
Driven through exhausted
Lungs.
Shivering, bleeding out
If only in my mind.

Theres nothing like
Making my bed in the military style
(I learned how to in the hospital)
To make me feel
Like I've really got my **** together.

**** your feelings.
Just
Use me.

When I was little my uncle was
Shot
And died on the scene.
A cop did it.
My uncle was unarmed.
Murdered
Because of his skin tone.

He smells like
The colors of
A saturated midnight
Ocean.
As he walks past,
The impression of rich
Hints
Of jasmine, violet,
Chilly blues,
And tiny sips of grey
Wash over me.
The boy could drown
Himself
In the depth of
His hues.

They put a mirror in my bedroom.
I cried
Because it is antique
And my anxiety is horrible.
It's surface makes my veins itch.
It's wretched
And I'm paranoid.

Another cup
Of watered down coffee
My sixth so far.
On a monday filled
With only my own voice
And anticipation
To finally be back home.

Lamictol
For my BPD,
From years of self-abuse and uncontrollable
Emotion.
Paxil
For anxiety
Because I was always told to be better
Even at my best.
Trazodone
Just to sleep
Because I keep myself awake
Thinking about how ****** up
Everything always was.
My life could be ruled by these three little names
Until I have no more breath
Because I can't even rule my emotions.

When you open
Your mouth
And work your jaw with yellowed teeth
You **** me off.

I'm sure you had a nice time,
But this express is now closed
So hop off this ****
And put on some ******* clothes
****.