That I adore you?
That you amaze me?
That you drive me crazy?
That you push my limits?
That you're beautiful?
That I don't know what I'd do without you?

That I love you?

In case I haven't,
I adore you.
You amaze me.
You drive me crazy.
You push my limits.
You're beautiful.
I don't know what I would do with out you.

I love you.
I love you, I love you, I love you.

Im sick of drowning out everything on my pages and blotting out everything in my mind and leaving ink stains on my finger tips because I can not come to force myself not to be with you.
Im tired of writinglove poems and verses.
Thats not what I've beenfor.
Im one for deep thought provoking sentences that rip at your own exsitance until you begin to comprehend its ice bruge meaning.
I don't want to be this way about you.
I dont want you to be in my dreams.
Because my dreams have a funny way of turning into nightmares at the happiest moment.

Am I wrong?
Am I wrong for what I'm thinking?
I love her with all my flesh and blood
because my heart is too weak.
But we can't speak.
We can't touch.
All we seem to do is lie to each other.
But, ****, I love her.
And since we've meet I haven't wanted anyone else.
But there's someone else I've only just met.
And she draws my attention like a nurse draws blood.
And I don't know what to feel.

Hey dad,
Remember when you told me to walk the 10 miles from my middle school to our house, oh wait sorry your house, because you were out with your flavor of the week girlfriend?
Yeah, that was awesome. And when I got there the house was locked. But dont worry (you didnt) I climbed aladder and opened the window to get inside.
Remember when you called me a lair and told me i was an accident
in front of my closest friends for not telling you I thought I could be a lesbain?
Yeah, that was not the first nor the last night I cried myself to sleep. But you never heardme even though you wer just in the next room.
Remember when you hit me and blackened my eye for only scoring 13 points in a basketball game?
Definetly. And I never said a word about it when a teacher called child services. We can't have a beloved school board members good public name tarnished can we?
I once asked about you in school and how you had positivly affected my life.
I coudlnt think of an answer.
The most positive thing i can find in you is that you are more of a ***** bank than a father.

Sorry doesn't cut it.
You put me threw 8 years of hell.
I lived with you in a cesspool of hatred and now you say it wasn't right
For you to degrade me and grind down my self-confidence to the point Where I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror?

No.

You taught me I couldn't even believe my own father loved me.
How am I supposed to believe that you will even remember my name After I move out, which will be as soon as possible, if you couldn't Even prove that you cared for me as a father.

So don't you dare say you're sorry.

All I seem to be able to do is clasp my shaking hand over a bleeding wound.
But by doing so more blood floods from a foreign limb.
My intentions were never dark!
Never have I purposefully acted in a selfish way under a malice spell!
But intentions are only the difference between ****** and manslaughter.
Only a contrast of prison time that will be served undoubtedly.
I hurt the ones closest to me.
No, I don't hurt them.
I ****** their trust and souls with each unforgiving, ignorant blow.
I know not what I do until the damage is beyond all possible repair.
I clench the slit, spewing a crimson oil, but do not realize that in all my thrashing about, my own wrist has been ******.

I think,
dream,
speak,
write,
wonder,
ask,
whisper,
reminisce,
romanticize,
talk,
sing,
muse,
recollect,
med­itate,
about you far too often.

to everyone who views this, please never think you're not worth a life. To somebody, you are. I may just be a stranger on a site, but if you have anything that you think you need to talk about, please talk to me if you think there's no where else to go. There's always a better option. please, don't end it. You can do great things. Your time will come.

To think that I send sparks flying through you,
To think that I leave you speechless,
To think that I leave you with a burning flame in your eyes,
I can't fathom the notion.
The idea that I make you smile the grin I adore.
The thought that I make you blush the gorgeous pink shade I see.
I just can not picture some one like me, being a source of happiness For a beauty like you.

Even after I break and trash every ******* blade, I always find myself running to get more.

You came with our own friends, but as soon as the door was shut we both knew what was about to happen.
It was no use trying to fight it.
So I gave in easily.
And for 45 minutes,  you were mine and I was yours.
You felt more than my flesh.
So much more.
You cluched my being.
You will never be able to comprehend what you've done tonight for me.
You said no to more, but in doing so let me say it was fine.
You've allowed me to being to trust myself again.
That's somthing I can't remember being able to do.

I've fallen for you so many times I've lost count.
Everytime you call me girlie.
Everytime you brush my pinky because you want me to fill the empty space between your fingers.
When you call me an idoit for being overly romantic.
When you ask to see my wrist to ensure that there are no fresh wounds.
When you talk about how your perfect futrue would include me.
When you tilt your head and show that toothy grin I love so much.
I fall for you again.

These walls have stood strong and tall to shield me from this cruel world we have made, or maybe it's vice versa.
This stained , dingy, carpet has soaked up more tears and blood than you have ever seen cascade from my dying eyes and flesh.
Those tattered sheets you see enveloping my mattress?
They have offered more comfort and protection than any words or actions I've ever received from you.
That broken razor hidden in my closet, it taught me how to do a number of unwinding things.
No. You can not change them.

I love you but I will never like you.
I will tolerate you but never more that.
I will cry for you in front of others but never alone.
I will do what you ask but never the extra mile.
I turn my music down slightly but never off for you.
I will go to college but not under a major of your choice.
I love you but I will never like you.

April has come and gone.
Nearly a year has passed and I'm alive and well.
Nobody ever thought I would make it this far, or long.
The 8th will always be a blemish on calendar.
As long as I live.
If they saw me now, what would they say?
I'm not sure I'd care to know myself.
but I will smile as April 8th comes to pass.
Because I'm alive and well, while I could be in a grave somewhere.

You give me
These songs like
Youve thought it
Over a millions
Times.
For just an
Hour I had
You.
But that was
All I needed.
You were there,
So it made
Everything perfect.

I need you so much morethan I need oxygen. And tonight I had you all for myself if just for an hour. And it was perfect.

You walked into my room with no sort of respect for me or my belongings and asked me why I was in such a bad mood, I'm certain you couldn't imagine a more descriptive word even though you're n English major, and I had an almost overwhelming need to say 'Because I'm trapped in a world where loving her is not excepted yet abusing your child in every possible way but physically (most of the time), seeing self inflicted scars across her wrists and ignoring them, and driving her to the point where she feels this miniscule, is'

I'm so curious as to what an amazing person such as Jessica White has to say about a supposed light in your eyes I give you when I'm next to you or you're talking about me.

I would lie and say anything you wantmeto. But what you want me to say is that I do not love you. And that's just notsomething I'm willing to lie about.

We're not on this earth to be happy.
Were here to make a difference.
Here to make someone smile.
Here to be that beckon of light for someone, anyone.
Why is it so hard for some people to comprehend that?

The only time I'm even remotely close to happy, is whenever I'm near you.