Anna Gray

Anna Gray Mar 2014

These walls have stood strong and tall to shield me from this cruel world we have made, or maybe it's vice versa.
This stained , dingy, carpet has soaked up more tears and blood than you have ever seen cascade from my dying eyes and flesh.
Those tattered sheets you see enveloping my mattress?
They have offered more comfort and protection than any words or actions I've ever received from you.
That broken razor hidden in my closet, it taught me how to do a number of unwinding things.
No. You can not change them.

Anna Gray Mar 2014

I Wish I Didn't Do This

I think,
dream,
speak,
write,
wonder,
ask,
whisper,
reminisce,
romanticize,
talk,
sing,
muse,
recollect,
meditate,
about you far too often.

Anna Gray Mar 2014

I Just Can't Forget

That Saturday you leaned into my shoulder and how your head just fit perfectly into my neck.

It was the most blissful moment I've ever had.

How on our last band trip you left your friends to sit with me and let me hold your hand for the first time.

I'm sure my eyes shown like emeralds as you locked your fingers into mine.

How you wouldn't look at me on our first date, or a football game rather, when all I yearned for was you gaze as my hands wrapped around your waist, an unexplored territory for you.

You had me work so long and hard for that first kiss.

How the first 'I love you' rolled off of my tongue like I had been saying it since birth.

I have never been one to turn a serious card over, much less after barley a month.

How I have never been as infatuated with a girl like I am with you.

*Why am I so immensely, insanely, crazily, hopelessly, in love with you?

Everyone of these and many more engulf my mind daily.

Anna Gray Mar 2014

I Have Wronged

The inner stitching's of my being have begun to unravel themselves.
Each thread held a piece of me that I swore never to release,
For it has brought nothing but evil and disgust to the ones that care for me.
I sowed them with a string so strong and a needle so sharp
That no wear nor test of time could break its hold.
But alas, my fingers must not be as still as they once were
For I find myself twitching at every mere brush of my hand against them.
One by one,
I pull at the stitching's of my dumbfounded self.
The master work I previously preformed has been undone by its
"master" worker.
The irony of the situation astounds me.
How I can and have wronged so many so harshly in such short an amount of time,
Yes, I once sowed these stitching's so tightly
That the devil could not sliver
his was past them.
But I was far to concerned with outside interference to open my eyes and see
That the most devious and most threating obstacle I had to face,
Stared me down in the mirror each and every morning.

I disgust my self. how could I be so low.

Anna Gray Mar 2014

Intentions

All I seem to be able to do is clasp my shaking hand over a bleeding wound.
But by doing so more blood floods from a foreign limb.
My intentions were never dark!
Never have I purposefully acted in a selfish way under a malice spell!
But intentions are only the difference between ****** and manslaughter.
Only a contrast of prison time that will be served undoubtedly.
I hurt the ones closest to me.
No, I don't hurt them.
I ****** their trust and souls with each unforgiving, ignorant blow.
I know not what I do until the damage is beyond all possible repair.
I clench the slit, spewing a crimson oil, but do not realize that in all my thrashing about, my own wrist has been ******.

I never meant to hurt you Jessica. I just wish I could have seen this coming.

Anna Gray Mar 2014

Hayden

to everyone who views this, please never think you're not worth a life. To somebody, you are. I may just be a stranger on a site, but if you have anything that you think you need to talk about, please talk to me if you think there's no where else to go. There's always a better option. please, don't end it. You can do great things. Your time will come.

R.I.P Hayden Lambreth my best friend. march 14, 2014.

Anna Gray Mar 2014

Goodbye

Goodbye can mean so many different things.
It can mean goodbye for the day
Or forever.
It can mean "it kills me to say this"
Or "why did I not say this sooner?"
It can mean "Im doing this for you."
Or "Im doing this for me."
Funny how one word
Can have so many meanings.