LITERALLY ALL I WANT TO KNOW IS WHY YOU STOPPED TALKING TO ME ALTOGETHER BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU UNDERSTOOD THAT SINCE WE'RE IN HIGH SCHOOL WE HAVE MIXED EMOTIONS BUT NOW I RECALL THAT THAT WAS BEFORE YOU GRADUATED SO I GUESS SINCE YOU'RE NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYMORE I ******* HATE YOU FOR LEAVING

I miss the curve of your lips and the way you used to moan my name through the cracks of your teeth

I KEEP GETTING DIZZY RANDOMLY AND I THINK IT'S TO REMIND MYSELF NOT TO FALL BECAUSE I KNOW IF I DO YOU WON'T BE HERE TO PICK ME UP LIKE YOU SAID YOU WOULD BE

MY DEMONS LOOK LIKE YOU SOMETIMES AND I HOPE THAT KNOWING THAT MAKES YOU GET GOOSEBUMPS WHEN YOU'RE IN HER BED

I had two of my favorite necklaces on one of the nights you randomly texted me wanting to drop by and say hey because you were “near my neighborhood” even though I knew you were coming from the other side of town. You came by and said you liked my necklaces. We’ve been broken up for a month and 10 days and I haven’t come close to touching those necklaces

There comes a point when you just don't love someone anymore. That point will never come with you.

I WISH WE COULD JUST START OVER BECAUSE I NEVER THOUGHT YOU'D BE SOMEONE I'D HAVE TO MISS AND I MISS HOW I USED TO GET HIGH OFF YOUR VOICE AND DRUNK OFF YOUR LIPS WHY THE **** DID YOU LEAVE ME

I OFTEN WONDER IF WHEN YOU HAVE *** WITH SOMEONE ELSE IF YOU'LL END UP WISHING IT WAS ME AFTER IT'S OVER OR IF YOU'VE ALREADY HAD *** WITH SOMEONE ELSE IF YOU REGRET IT NOT BEING ME I HAD *** WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND I FAKED IT FEELING GOOD THE ENTIRE ******* TIME AND I'LL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR HAVING *** WITH SOMEONE WHO SAID "LET'S KEEP THIS ON THE DOWN LOW" AFTER IT WAS OVER BECAUSE ALTHOUGH YOU DROPPED ME OUT OF NOWHERE YOU NEVER MADE ME FEEL LIKE YOU WERE EMBARRASSED TO BE WITH ME AND FOR THAT I THANK YOU BUT I STILL ******* HATE YOU FOR LEAVING

you lit my sky on fire but now you're gone and everything is pitch black

I miss the time we went to the airport just to watch the planes fly away. I loved it because it was near midnight and everything just felt magical. You kissed me whenever a plane took off and told me you’d stop having feelings for me when planes stopped flying. I guess planes stopped flying. I miss you.

IT'S BEEN FIVE DAYS SINCE WE'VE BROKEN UP AND I TEXTED YOU TONIGHT AND ASKED YOU IF YOU WANTED ALL OF YOUR STUFF BACK AND YOU SAID YES AND THAT'D YOU'D GET IT LATER BUT I DON'T WANT YOU TO COME GET IT LATER I WANT TO KEEP YOU AND YOUR STUFF SO I CAN HAVE YOUR SMELL FOR FOREVER

WHAT UPSETS ME IS THAT EVEN THOUGH WE'RE NOT IN EACH OTHER'S LIVES ANYMORE I'LL ALWAYS HAVE THE MEMORY OF YOUR LIPS TOUCHING MINE AND NOW AND THEN I'LL TOUCH MY LIPS BECAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE YOU'RE STILL HERE EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE LONG GONE AND NEVER COMING BACK AND THE OTHER MORNING I WOKE UP AT FIVE A.M. BECAUSE I SWEAR I FELT YOUR LIPS PRESSED AGAINST MINE BUT THEN I REALIZED THAT IT WAS JUST MY HAND PRESSED AGAINST MY MOUTH FROM SILENCING MY CRY OVER HOW YOUR LIPS WILL NEVER BE ON MINE AGAIN

I NEVER TOLD YOU I LOVE YOU BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT I DO I WONDER IF YOU LOVE ME TOO

you were in all my dreams last night and I woke up crying

I STILL TASTE YOUR TONGUE IN MY MOUTH AND I CAN STILL FEEL THE WAY YOU USED TO ****** THE ANATOMY OF YOUR TONGUE ALL OVER MY SKIN LIKE IT WAS SECOND NATURE TO DO SO WHY DOES MY SKIN ******* BURN WITH JUST A SIMPLE RECOLLECTION OF YOUR EXISTENCE MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE WHENEVER YOU USED TO TOUCH ME IN THE SLIGHTEST BIT THERE WAS AN ELECTRIC SPARK THAT FLOWED FROM YOU THROUGH ME AND IT WOULD SHOCK MY HEART MAKING ME FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU ALL OVER AGAIN I NEVER TOLD YOU I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU AND I NEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT THE SPARKS YOU REPEATEDLY GAVE ME BECAUSE YOU'RE PROBABLY GIVING ANOTHER GIRL SPARKS AND YOU'RE NOT HERE TO GET ELECTROCUTED BY ME ANYMORE

THE HYSTERICAL THING ABOUT YOU LEAVING ME IS THAT I BET YOU THOUGHT I'D STOP SMILING JUST BECAUSE YOU AREN'T IN MY LIFE ANYMORE BUT THE JOKE IS ON YOU BABY BECAUSE I FOUND SOMEONE WHO YOU CAN NEVER COMPARE TO AND I'VE MET HIS FAMILY AND HE ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT ME WHICH IS MORE THAN I CAN EVER EVEN BEGIN TO SAY FOR YOU BUT HAVE FUN SLEEPING ALONE BABY I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU HATE IT

THE FIRST TIME I SAW YOUR EYES I KNEW I WAS BEYOND ****** BECAUSE YOU HAD THE MOST SCINTILLATINGLY BEAUTIFUL PAIR OF BROWN EYES I'VE EVER SEEN ON A BREATHING HUMAN EVEN YOUR ******* EYELASHES WERE HARD TO FATHOM THEY LOOKED LIKE THEY COULD FIGHT AND WIN AGAINST A STORM WITH ALL THEIR THICKNESS AND MAN OH MAN THEY WERE HARD TO FATHOM AND SEEING THEM BAT AT ME CAUSE A TIDAL WAVE TO CRASH AGAINST MY INTERNAL ORGANS I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO HAVE YOU LOOKING AT ME AGAIN INSTEAD OF NASTY COLLEGE GIRLS WHO DON'T KNOW WHAT THE ******* **** THEY WANT ANYWAY I KNOW WHAT I WANT I WANT YOU I WANT YOU I WANT YOU

Your absence is the closest to torture I've ever been

I WONDER IF YOU KNOW IT'S BEEN TWO MONTHS AND EIGHT DAYS SINCE WE LAST SAW EACH OTHER BECAUSE A WEEK AFTER WE FIRST MET YOU SAID "IT'LL BE A WEEK SINCE I'VE SEEN YOU" BUT THEN I REMEMBER THAT IT'S BEEN TWO ******* MONTHS AND EIGHT DAYS SINCE WE LAST SAW EACH OTHER AND I REALIZED THAT IF YOU WANTED TO SEE ME YOU WOULD HAVE MADE IT HAPPEN BY NOW

WHY DID YOU SAY YOU MISS ME IF YOU WERE GOING TO SHOOT ME DOWN WHEN I SAID I MISSED YOU TOO WHY DID YOU MAKE ME BELIEVE YOU WERE IN IT FOR THE LONG RUN IF YOU WEREN'T WHY AM I SHAKING WHY AREN'T YOU HERE WHERE ARE YOU DO YOU NEED ME TOO?

I hung the bag your present
is in on my closet door
I think it's going to
be hanging for forever

THE MEMORY OF YOU HAUNTS ME EVERY DAY WHEN WILL I NOT REMEMBER THE SOUND OF YOUR VOICE AND EVERYTHING YOU EVER SAID TO ME?

YOU SAID I REALLY HURT YOU WELL LISTEN HERE BUDDY LOSING YOU HAS BEEN NO WALK IN THE ******* PARK EITHER I'M UP TRYING TO FORGET YOU AND ALL THAT DOES IS MAKE ME REMEMBER YOU EVEN MORE SO DON'T ******* TALK TO ME ABOUT BEING HURT BECAUSE I'VE BEEN NUMB FOR OVER TWO MONTHS NOW

You impacted me in ways that I can't explain and now you're gone. I can't explain your absence either.

I'LL NEVER GET OVER YOU NO MATTER WHO I'M DATING OR MARRIED TO BECAUSE YOU ARE (WERE) HOME AND THE DAY YOU LEFT IT FELT LIKE SOMEONE HAD TORCHED MY HOUSE AND DESTROYED ALL MY BELONGINGS BUT A LITTLE PIECE OF YOU WILL ALWAYS BE BURNING INSIDE OF ME AND I LIKE TO THINK I'LL ALWAYS BE BURNING SOMEWHERE INSIDE OF YOU TOO

YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART AND THAT ******* TERRIFIES ME BECAUSE I SEE YOU EVERYWHERE IN EVERYTHING I DO I CAN'T EVEN WEAR MY WATCH ANYMORE BECAUSE AFTER I GOT IT SIZED I CAME OVER AND WHILE WE WERE HAVING *** THE PIN THAT ADJUSTED THE BAND WAS STICKING OUT AND IT SCRATCHED YOUR BACK I WISH IT WAS STILL MY WATCH SCRATCHING YOU BUT IT'S PROBABLY HER NAILS GOING UP AND DOWN YOUR BACK

THE SCARY THING ABOUT KISSING SOMEONE IS THAT YOU NEVER KNOW IF IT'S GOING TO BE THE LAST TIME YOU KISS THEM THE LAST TIME I KISSED YOU WAS APRIL TWENTY FOURTH AND IT WAS JUST A PECK BECAUSE YOU ****** ME OFF BUT I COULDN'T HELP BUT TO STILL KISS YOU BECAUSE I ALWAYS HAVE THIS FEAR OF ME BEING ANGRY AT SOMEONE AND THEM DRIVING AWAY AND GETTING IN A WRECK AND DYING SO I KISSED YOU BUT **** IF I HAD KNOWN THAT THAT WAS GOING TO BE THE LAST TIME WE KISSED I WOULD HAVE KISSED YOU SO ******* HARD YOUR LIPS WOULD HAVE TURNED NUMB

MY DEMONS LOOK LIKE YOU
SOMETIMES AND I HOPE THAT
KNOWING THAT MAKES YOU
GET GOOSEBUMPS WHEN
YOU'RE IN HER BED

I KEEP IMAGINING THAT YOU'LL TEXT OR CALL ME AND SAY THAT YOU'VE BEEN MEANING TO RESPOND TO MY MESSAGE AND THAT YOUR PHONE HAS BEEN ******* UP BUT THEN I SEE YOU'RE ONLINE RIGHT NOW LIKING YOUR WALL POSTS FROM A GIRL SAYING MY FAMOUS LINE "YO MAMA LETCHU DATE?" I LIKE TO THINK THAT YOU LIKE THAT SHE SAYS THAT BECAUSE IT REMINDS YOU OF ME BUT THEN I SNAP BACK TO REALITY AND REALIZE THAT YOU JUST DON'T CARE ANYMORE AND SHE HAS MORE TO OFFER YOU ANYWAYS

THE SAYING "EITHER THEY WERE A BLESSING OR A LESSON" IS BASICALLY GIVING SOMEONE THE EASY WAY OUT BUT YOU'RE NOT GETTING THE EASY WAY OUT THIS TIME BABE BECAUSE YOU WERE BOTH YOU WERE A BLESSING IN THAT YOU MADE ME GENUINELY HAPPY WHILE YOU WERE IN MY LIFE BUT YOU WERE A LESSON IN THAT YOU'RE THE FIRST GUY TO EVER MAKE ME FEEL SICK ABOUT MYSELF AND YOU TAUGHT ME TO NEVER LET SOMEONE CRAWL INSIDE MY SKIN THE WAY I LET YOU IN SO I HOPE ONCE I GROW THE **** TO GIVE THESE POEMS TO YOU YOU REMEMBER THIS ONE IN PARTICULAR AND HAVE TROUBLE SLEEPING

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST COME BACK BECAUSE YOU WERE THE ONE THAT SAID IT WOULD **** IF WE COULDN'T BE TOGETHER AND YOU WERE THE ONE TO SAY FIRST THAT YOU MISSED ME AND YOU WERE THE ONE THAT SAID I WAS YOUR BABE AND YOU WERE THE ONE THAT SAID YOU LOVED MY BODY AND YOU WERE THE ONE THAT SAID YOU WERE SORRY AND YOU WERE THE ONE THAT SAID YOU DIDN'T WANT ME TO BE ANGRY AT YOU AND I KNOW I TOLD YOU I I WASN'T BUT I WAS AND IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO BE ANGRY WITH YOU ANYMORE IT'S IN YOUR BEST INTEREST TO JUST COME BACK AND WE CAN START OVER BECAUSE NOW I'M THE ONE TALKING AND I'M THE ONE THAT SAID TO COME BACK AND BE MY BABE AGAIN