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Jul 2013 · 2.2k
Remain calm, please.
Anna Christine Jul 2013
He’s a complete double negative
Sensitive and competitive
This thing” seems imperative
And when I’m all preventative
and have discourses that are argumentative
He is, to me, like a sedative.

But everything is of course relative.
Mar 2013 · 605
Self-destructing doubts
Anna Christine Mar 2013
Walking unsteadily around
feeling her way as a blind person
Searching and shifting for someones face
Upon the discovery of His

Who did this to you?

In the naked darkness,
the feeling of  being evaluated
pushes it’s way in from all sides
Shuffling of her feet
and eyes bruised with the knowledge

Who did this to you love?

Black circles of burned tears
words that tears like a broken saw
muttered under the breath of melancholy

I did

Darling, but you’re bleeding!

Tacitly avoiding his words
Upon the memory of his sagacious mind
Born of the moonlight,
She knows when to avoid the brooding stillness

Why did you do this?

And as the palpitating silence lengthened
The white cloth he has strategically placed
is painted with red
and a protest already wavering on her lips
As his fingers were gently laid upon her soul

I wanted to clear my mind of a thousand memories

Scratching her nails
into the painted milky white flesh
His hands searching for hers
Asking for her dripping hands

They are my battle wounds

And who, may I ask, were you battling?

The rippling questions pulling her further away
Soundless words only little more than a whisper
Desperately pulling the strings of her heart
The wounds, almost a piece of fragile art

Myself

Don’t loose yourself, take my hand, let me guide you

I don’t want to be a burden

The blood that trickles down her arms betrays
what her words are meant to portray
And as the piercing sounds were spoken from his mouth
Seriousness lurked in the depths of his eyes

Sweetheart, you are only a burden to yourself.

Carefully pulling each red stained cloth of her body
Exposing the ragged contour
Withdrawing herself is what she does best
but he has a hold of her heart
as he examines every inch of broken skin

How can I trust you?

Here, take my hand.

He readily grasped her icing cold fingers
and dug them into his chest,
till she was left with his heart in her hands
The red warm liquids
mixing with her own stained violet bruises
She suddenly remembered what it felt like
to feel the heartbeat of another person

*You wanted to clear you mind of memories,
but in the meantime
you forgot love.
May 2012 · 379
Heartbeat of the day
Anna Christine May 2012
All night i sit alone, waiting for your words to start my hearts first real beat,
And your touch to warm my cold skin
I sit alone with thoughts of your beauty and laughter
The image of your soft lips ripples across my mind as you take me away to a world of imagination,
Where i feel my feet lift from the earth
You create my hearts first real beat of the day
So alone I sit waiting for you.
May 2012 · 435
Dreaming
Anna Christine May 2012
Hungover from a dream that haunts.
Don’t paint a picture with colours, if the background is black.
You play me, with the sweetest grace. Yet I only play tunes of agony and distress.
Melodies barely believed.
I shall caress your face, with tears, sadness and grief.
Watch me on the floor, bathed in my own sweat.
A justifying pain.
Wrap me up, in the ghostly mist. Hide me, from the cold surrender of the night.
My muscles tense, I break my jaw. Littered, lonely and lost.
I address letters to you, for me. Show me progress, when will the frenzy of the dream stop?
The hour is ill.
The famous tale began, before you knew of it.
Call me by my old familiar name, I do not know of this wandering person within.
When tomorrow rises without me
Wear no forced air of sorrow.
I shall walk in the aspect of cloudless conditions and moonlit roads.
May 2012 · 895
My love letter to nobody.
Anna Christine May 2012
Every sigh, every breath, every forced pattern is sparkled with the intensity of the memory of you.
I have created a world with noone to tell me wrong, noone to go against my wishes. I have created a world without you and every breath I take I regret my being.
For what is passion, without you. For what is desire, without you.

For what is love, without you.

Teach me passion, for I fear it has left, compose desire in the web of the music carried by fear.

An ocean filled with lonely souls, agony heard in the mesmorizing colours of a wind that is to be spoken of.
A song, not to be understood with words is rippled across the surface of the lonely ocean. The darkness that touches the sun, gleaming with devastation, is a constant reminder of reality.

The doubting heart, the breaking stride, the abandoned agony. Solitarity can be a treasure, when one desires it. It can be the arrow pinned through every limb. Rise above, till you hit what is known as earth.

Cast the anker, slow down. Drown in the ocean with the deserted. Over the hills and further. Wait for dawn, your presence will embarrass what is known as perfection.

Leave me not, leave me for you.

A desire for red roses. Leave white at my deathbed, for what is death without love?
You are the sound that detaches my heart from its melancholy. I walk alone.

Believe what is said, trust me not.
I cannot bear responsible for the debris I create, I cannot stand to watch you bother.

Hold my hand with your black gloves. You know the misfortune, you know the misery. Take the black horse.

I see the mask, but not the face. I see your touch, but feel nothing. Inside my heart I wish you near but time is pushing me against the fall.

Forget the wide eyes, gleaming with fear. Forget the discreet screams.
Let me be the light that guides you.
Say you will love me.
May 2012 · 408
Golden Chain
Anna Christine May 2012
I will always remember the sleepless nights.
The sound of rain.
The quiet darkness that waited patiently by my window.
The faint lights that glowed just beyond the curtains.
Everything that was measured in slow steps and soft words.

I’ll remember you most of all.

And though the weird and the wild will take you.
And the surreal and the strange goes on.
There are dreams that will never wake you.
What remains is never gone.
May 2012 · 443
The world changes me
Anna Christine May 2012
The damp air is raw
Short white puffs of mist
Aching from effort, another gulp of frozen air is forced
Only a heart insist
It lingers cold and metallic in her mouth
fear
wounded by obvious infatuation
A lasting wonder to bear
whether she’s wanted, or been settled for.
building a house of cards
one wrong move, and they’ll never reach the top.
The words left unspoken, watching them like guards
Slowly tearing all apart
Protests of an undying love
The mist is crawling
slowly wrapping itself around them like a glove
odious, self crushing means
her breathing grows louder and slower
A desired effect
May 2012 · 508
Tragedies
Anna Christine May 2012
How I learnt that your pretty kaleidoscope eyes
must do some raining in order to grow
How freedom is so much stronger than *******
And how, though I feel the past is over,
it will come haunt me at times and how though it’s been so long
the feeling is much too familiar for my liking
I know that you will eventually leave
and there is so much I want to say to you
All the pieces finally seem to go together but the one in my chest
It took almost two years, to finally realize
that grief sitting by my side,
intoxicating the air with a dull, meaningless smell
is not my friend,

And when it occurred to me that, as I let go, you let go.
It doesn’t work like in the movies. How I want to believe in the fairy tales
and the Hollywood stories
You held me through the darkest of nights, but when the sun casts it’s first light,
You disappeared because I let you.
Things that were so beautiful with you have become ugly
Diamonds in your mind
I burn with the desire, for the breath that is yours
How could this weak love, steal anything
I’m sorry I couldn’t be what you wanted
and you seem happy doing what you are now
I forgot how to talk to you, or maybe it’s because you have moved on
Either way, it was a story well-written.
It was a beautiful, loving, desperate tragedy.
**Waste to the world and everything in it!
May 2012 · 484
Wait for me
Anna Christine May 2012
Leaving things unsaid
I must grab my head around your lies
You disturb my vision,
you cloud my heart.

I rise from restless sleep
An awful wreckage of a girl
A sudden memory of something lost
Give me happiness, take what it cost.

A non-satisfying plastic knife
Merely a piece of flesh
A diamond is without warmth
I see nothing, so noone sees me

Water burning, imagination takes over
Justifying stabs, hurtful tears.
Giving in to find a way out.
Too many whens & too many whys

I am alive but dead.
for a second tasting the tranquility,
Invisible blood I’ve bled.
A diagnosis, a ****** up wreckage of a girl.
May 2012 · 808
Kindest demon
Anna Christine May 2012
Empty blankets
Closed eyes, a dead world
My dreams have been pulled away
by too many hands
a fictional statement
I wish you would close your eyes too
Let your soul dance, alone
I’m in reminiscence
a place you will never know
and I can tell, by your wounded eyes
You don’t believe in lies.
Living in a fairytale, where money is an illusion
where want is a hunger
and where pain is in decay
Where dolls are not meant to be thrown away
Keep your childhood, dear.
Let’s play a game
Let’s pretend we are the same
Lying in the space, between day and night
half sick of lonely shadows
Let me see the stars.
feel the cold wind, touch the sky.
Easy to contemplate a why
He thinks the same of me, like the other girls.
The curse fits, dear Lady of Shalott.
Death is the new survival,
and I open my eyes in a world that’s alive.
I don’t know what the visions in my head means
It’s all a little bit dearanged -You must think I’m strange
This is not your mission
Yet, you choose it anyway
I wonder how the view is from there
I think you were wrong about me
like a world not turning,
or a snowstorm burning
a siren singing your lullaby.
A crowded desert,
Closed eyes, a dead world.
A tainted dream, melodramatically laid
May 2012 · 748
Charm
Anna Christine May 2012
Standing in the doorway
Rushing, Racing, Running in circles
Colliding, Confusion, Chaos on replay.
Slowly pulling the white nightgown over her still cold body
Brightly coloured pills, they will make the hour seem less ill.
She’s flesh and blood but does not feel human at night
Scream underwater, tonight, you’re her ****.
Whispering charms and throwing curses
The soothing murmur, the stabbing blade
Will you still wait in the sweltering heat?
Head under ice, dive in, taste the cold.
The cool grey fingers will linger at your pulsing throat
Gazing into the blackness, the sweet breath shall pull you closer
Biting a neck, still yet to be ripe
The moving shadows will lure you in
Vague despair will creep up your chest
Shivers down her spine
Whistling claws tearing you down
Work on your own, delicate lullaby.
Trackless patterns, invisible footsteps
Slowly falling from the sky, the tears of a broken star
Let the snow bury you deep.
She flies with no movement, up and above
There is no longer a reality to hold her down
Wake up to find her body mangled
The twisted lips, the shattered eyes
murmuring under her breath
a continuous sound
something not to be understood.
May 2012 · 624
Depravity of mind
Anna Christine May 2012
Of powerlessness
Not knowing what to say,
Please, just do something!
The waiting, the longing, the anticipation
The stress, the nerves, the wanting!

Up on your feet
But there’s the taste of blood on your teeth

Should have danced a little closer to the edge
Gambled a bit more
Should have kept going till they pulled out the dredge
Once again, didn’t let him into the core.

But time would’ve passed nevertheless
And we would’ve ended at the point where it’s meant to undress
I couldn’t, I wouldn’t, but should I?

‘Nothing to do’, she would cry.

It’s so much easier to run away,
hide, flee, to escape.

The cheering could not be overheard
The choosing was done
And like the fairy tales,  the princess was too late.
Nobody needed to tell her.

He should have known better than to trust her
When she asked him to leave
Trust is gained, not given.

Burdened by guilt and despair
I now know… He didn’t even care.
May 2012 · 410
Across the sky
Anna Christine May 2012
Shattered stars on the floor
Infinite eyes never goes to sleep
Bright blue stars on the shivering sky
Endless  kaleidoscope eyes

To think, to feel, to hear the immense night
To see the last light return to the falling sun
Keep me in your memory
But hold me in your future

I miss you, even more across the sky.
Waters can’t quench hearts anymore
Movement in the stillness
*…It could be all yours
May 2012 · 831
Nightshade
Anna Christine May 2012
Shattered stars on the floor
Infinite eyes never goes to sleep
Bright blue stars on the shivering sky
Endless  kaleidoscope eyes

To think, to feel, to hear the immense night
To see the last light return to the falling sun
Keep me in your memory
But hold me in your future

I miss you, even more across the sky.
Waters can’t quench hearts anymore
Movement in the stillness
*…It could be all yours
May 2012 · 369
Across the sky
Anna Christine May 2012
Shattered stars on the floor
Infinite eyes never goes to sleep
Bright blue stars on the shivering sky
Endless  kaleidoscope eyes

To think, to feel, to hear the immense night
To see the last light return to the falling sun
Keep me in your memory
But hold me in your future

I miss you, even more across the sky.
Waters can’t quench hearts anymore
Movement in the stillness
…It could be all yours
May 2012 · 633
Posing questions
Anna Christine May 2012
There is no silver, among the gold hair
On top of the airy, archness woman
It’s not that she has forgotten, for I have not.
Bearing an artificial wish to him
To inflame her no more
It’s not that she is fearless, for I am not.
’twas the accuracy of his aim
that pierced the air of assumption
At the center of the twisting path
Rooted in prejudice standing in solitude
Determined to never succumb to the man
Destined to never find a way out
And it’s not that she is not I, for she is.
It’s that I am here and you found me
But with the blow of fate
the chaos of the confusion created peace
yet still to be found in the maze
with the dawning recognition at our backs.

It is not that she doesn’t love, for I do.
May 2012 · 562
2000's
Anna Christine May 2012
The world is nothing but a strange riddle to me. I will never understand the sensation of a pounding crushing heart, quivering lips and warm tears. I ask myself the same questions.

I hate the prickling feeling in my gut asking for permission to erupt. Over analyzing anything that can be. Hours, days, months spent that way.

You live on, so so can I. I don’t miss you, I don’t. I miss how you made me shine. I miss the safety and the laughter. I miss the way one could perceive two different worlds at once. You took my breath away. But people change. I don’t miss you, I miss the making of memories that don’t change.
May 2012 · 707
The echo of longing
Anna Christine May 2012
A subtle air of obscurity
An avalanche of disappointment
As the realization occurs
that they were merely a detachment of life
Way before their time
Too soon, too fast, not enough.
Silent laughter strangles the room
Flames of scarlet across their cheeks
A fugitive touch of the hand
Glassy eyes, bolting minds
A nameless sadness oppressing their world
The faint heart filled with eager hopefulness
beaten by the imperious and sagacious mind
Quick flames leaping in every cell of their silhouettes
Only to be washed away by the knowingly river
The wistful melancholy bound to the star-crossed lovers
when they hear the sinking beating grow faint.
May 2012 · 485
War Survivors
Anna Christine May 2012
The crumbling walls, the running feet never returning
Orange glow reflected in the dead eyes
The city is burning
Pieces of souls mixed with the delicate ashes flies
The desperation written in the sky, everyone’s a mourner
Sweat on their chest, fear in their mind
The widows on every street corner
Ignorance, we are all of the same kind
The despair and the broken screams
It isn’t over, never will be till the boatman comes for the last time
Leave money, desert your weapons, forget your dreams
Slash the idea of letting them pay for their crime
Chase the hope, not the faintly glow of death upon the collapsing city
The useless killings, the cruel slaughter
Don’t ******, but feel pity
The teary-eyed children and the coarse laughter
Slaying the throat of another daughter
Follow the last falling star, remember your broken heart
This world, wasn’t made to be torn apart.
May 2012 · 1.7k
Inadequacy
Anna Christine May 2012
The town is flashing it’s colours
Bright prisms of lights
Windows open and lively leaves
Shut the door, close your eyes.

So much beauty,
and so many things to do
maybe one day we’ll meet again
At an empty railway station

The cannibalistic metropolis
Seeking ways to make words
Untrue, unspoken, wanted and alive.
Eat the fear of the writer

Give me a warm hand,
So I can touch the soluble skies
Take me away from the spotlight
Make sure I can withstand

The town is missing
It’s soft colours

And I’m missing
The wholeness through words

— The End —