Wipe me clean
a chalk board eraser
So close I can taste her
You're the worst I've seen
take it all one-by-one
I asked the sun
if it would heal me
I asked God to be
somehow closer.

In the night
People leave the streets alone
With the lamps.
yellow light clamps
onto your figure figuring which way to go.
With a hole in your jacket,
It's hard to find heat
Feet trudge through sludge
That used to be green green grass.

I seem to recall the details of emptiness
and the somethingness
defining it
the line where the nothing turns into something
the artery wall
the air and the ground
the spot where you found
the sadness in the joy
the pain in love
the pursuit of balance
the moment where details
don't matter anymore.

The only thing that grows
is the space between.
You don't want what this body knows

questions pile up evermore
What does this mean?
Why don't you want me anymore?

On and on
this suffering plays
my heart is its song

I ask, "how long?"
it doesn't respond.

I took this withered body:
Wilted under the pressure of the moon,
A simple shard of glass
Transparent in the carpet.
And I saw it in a new light
Of a graceful waterfall
That doesn’t know the difference
Between what I used to be
And the way I stand here now
Wash away my
Wash away my
Wash away my
Emerge a butterfly

Take a pill or leave
Take a pill and leave
Take a pill, alleve
This
Gaze trying
To lasso the moment
In memory
Of a time when
This was at least ugly
at most something to be forgotten.

When skies are blue
The right shade
The right hue
things are made
extrapolation
compilation
Of time and pain
Of loss and gain
I listen but find no words
I look but nothing appears
And as the fog clears
And the light breaks
I find what makes
I find what takes
I find what fakes.

Dead rat
Wire rim
Push the lace
At your best pace
A smile
Grim

I wipe the stardust from my eyes
Oh how it itches and burns
We take turns
Because that is only fair
Good enough to ****
But not good enough to care
People stare at what I've done
He takes that on
Their judgements and I are one
I've gotten used to hauling it around
I'd share it, but it's too profound
Sounds like winter
Smells like him.

I wear a shell around me
Choking
A little
I can't seem to find
Hay in a haystack
Only the needle.
I'm beginning to feel the *****
The stick
Of a shell around me

I evaporate into the candle flame
Blow out each one
In one single exhale
Utter a word
To try and save me
Keep me from shaking
The truth out of him
Date a blade
Because at least they're honest
It's been fourteen hours now
And I haven't stopped shaking
The truth out of me.

Mist and color
Sparkle
Mountains climbed
Slowly and then quickly
And it does remind
You to go but stay
Whispering still
Say everything again
You match the hills
Blood on your arm
It kills.

I know you love me
Because of how much it hurts
A beautiful torture
An outstretched hand
A sea of existence
To define the land.
It has the power
To **** me
But always lets me down
Love is a sound
Far too loud
Love is a cloud
In a cloudless sky
Love isn't my
Action or inaction
But
Most of all,
Love isn't a fraction.

You wouldn't believe it if I told you
we can now walk
away from guns
put the safety on the trigger
put the razor in the gutter
stop running for a second,
look back to reckon:
is it still back there?

You're alone sailing
Sea shimmers
Limbs flailing
Some things never change.
You climb the walls
Of a gun range
Bullets like words
Fly at you

Like birds

I haven't been alone
If I stop running
I'll never start again
The little piece of metal
I can never quite shake
Wrap around my finger
Oh how you linger
Like a life never the same again
Dreams shouting in the distance
Seem so silly now

Zombie eyes,
wide like the skies
covering up space.
Her: blushed with the pace
of the day.
Fifty reasons to say,
“no,” fifty less
in favor of asking,
“how?”

Run fast
because the world is disappearing.
There,
reappearing,
are the fingers you wish for
never given by fate.
They disappear too.
So run fast
because thats what lasts.

Words escape me
A common problem
I see
In the folds
Of hands intertwined
There he holds
A gun to my forehead
And asks to have a normal conversation
Doesn't understand
Doesn't agree
How could it be
That words escape me?

Can you tell I'm nervous
Put a glaze over it in an oven
Hot like Saturday nights I never had
With a girl I never met
Friend is such a tragic word
Would you bet
That I run away every time
Here and there
I make this rhyme
So maybe you'll listen

I often wish
to feel not as a dead fish
flipping and flopping
on your dashboard
on your sharp sword
on, around, between.

I often think
I feel a sense of this
which is really that,
lovely like the space
between the molecules of your face.

I often stare
to feel between the lines
swimming and swerving
When is "I'm tired"
"I'm tired"
and when is it "I'm tired of you."

Etched into life
Patterns of chicken scratch
Looking for crumbs in the dust
You only have to trust
Put them in spaces
Old with rust
Can you see through my faces
Enough.

I vaporize and materialize
On some occasion
Put myself back together
In time for the explosion
Repeat
Repeat patterns
Repeat you
Repeat me

I evaporate
Slowly like a puddle
Into humid air

My particles
Invisible
To her eyes
To his eyes
To your eyes.
But felt heavy
In her lungs
In his lungs
In your lungs

I condense
Reluctantly like a scared teenager
Into the middle of breath.

There are echoes in stones
what they have seen.
How is it that you can dream
and keep tearing my skin from bones?

No one can stand anyone else
I am not an island
but a tired and sagging sack
patches upon patches
stitch me up again
Here I am, it is time to begin.

Maybe I don't want to see you again
Maybe I want to drift away
on a bed of poppy petals.
This soft blanket has become heavy
like lead
it tells me
things are okay
but I can't hear it
I'm too busy listening
waiting
for your footsteps to fall away
for your shadows to disappear
like everything
that was once contained in me
has come and gone,
like the moon.

Come closer if you dare.
Through the fear of my dazzling glare,
I see a sunset
and a past
not worth talking about.
Dance with me
and see
a sunrise
with eyes like moons.
We will run off together
like they do in cartoons.
We will cut our tether
like you always wanted,
but I remain forever haunted
by a sunset
and a past
not worth talking about.

Don't come closer
I've created a bed of butterfly wings:
all the things
I tried on
but didn't fit
all the wrongs
don't equal the rights
night spent
trying to be the dragon
he chases
all the faces
dissolve into scars.

I am still shedding the skin
That knew how to love.
They say it takes seven years
To be born again
No matter how much you burn
And
Peel
The cells that knew
Away
They are there
And you don’t have the power
Time has

The sun kissed me yesterday,
I wonder if you'll mind
The traces of gold
It left behind.

I understand the world
Through a dark sea.
Barefoot, I walk
Through the shock
Of sting rays,
But all I feel is the sand
How it holds me up, helps me stand,
And run towards you.

I meet rough seas
Like a cool pool of oil
Sick and poisonous
Colliding, but not mixing
Holding the secret
To living without actually feeling.

You are the light
The blood
The reason I fight
You are gold
In the center of the sun

You are water
Through my fingers
In my fingers
Something that doesn't quite linger

You are the reason I live
And the reason I die.

I don't have much
To love you with
A small light and such
A tight hold, a soft clutch
The stars align
A mystic sign
A hopeful line
An I love you
That doesn't make sense
It's meant to be in past tense
Because you don't mean it
Please, give me something to fill this pit

It all trudges
through what I've done,
the leaving,
the coming,
the blood
and the rain.
I see how tired
it all is,
I want it to fall asleep
in my life
in my lie.

The moment I said hello
Was the moment I said goodbye
Eyes can tell lies
Same as thighs
Gripping ties knotted in my mind
Blind to find
The meaning of hate
Same coin, same rate
As love and needs
Seeds thrown out
To wither instead of grow
The moment I said hello
Was the moment I said don't go

White wisp fabric
Float
Like steam
Weaves patterns
In and out
A reminder of you
Fleeting
Like starlight
But sadder

Scratch out words I meant to say
beneath the dark
standing stark
a thin veneer of your
fine fingers
your flesh
and your bones
Just tell me one thing:
Do you
oh
do you
still sting?

Sit here a second
Just in time
put him to bed
With a rhyme.
Silence is all thats ever said
So
I think about asking
But think about pain instead.

I never told you
one time I said
I love you
and meant it.
Nothing a couple pills won't fix.
I never told you,
but oil and water don't mix.

Blank faces gather
boredom with being human
so I pretend
I'm that dancer
he chose instead.

I hope to hurt
I put it out on my limbs
the way I go through life
just on the edge
a shaky limb
I can't get enough
or any at all
full throttle
slam on the brakes
I wish to take these mistakes
and swallow them whole
but that wouldn't be good enough
for you.

So this long line traces the pain
and keeps it in a small groove
I ask the angels to move
so I can see the sun
and then nothing at all.

I can't think of titles
But only bullets in rifles
What color is blood?
How can I understand truth
When there are only lies?
Show me all your party tricks
Say the same lines
One in bed
One in the shower
One dinner
One linear
Up and down is always certain
I draw the curtain

Free falling
Water up my nose
Am I smiling or am I frowning
Am I swimming or am I drowning
Isnt it strange
How putting your leg between mine
Echos like we are still
In that cave so long ago
Grabbing and racing to fill
This bright void
No question marks
Because you are all the answers

You wanted a poem
About your heart
I see it there beneath
Thorns and broken parts
A rib cage
Pick locked
Replace with barb wire
Opened with the right
Twist of the tongue
The right inhale of the lung
But I am a fish
I breath blue
And don't feel air
I'm telling you
It's not fair

Blood clotted water
Brown with anguish
Sizzling down the drain
Drowning rain inside this head
Nothing clicks or moves in place
All these thoughts are left unread
So much fills the space
Where you once were

Today I set
A date
For my wedding

With death.

I spread the floor
In the hopes you remain
Underneath it
Or the very least find
Reasons for why I am like this
Why I yearn for you
Why we miss
Each other every time.  
Rhyme to ice the pain
Rain to grow the flowers
Powers of speech I lack.
Back to loving you?
I never left.

What closes her eyes
Even when they are open?
Loss.
A life at cost
To him or them or you.

I love
And hate
At the same rate
So it all ends
In a neutral blur,
A human one.
The sky stands stark
In my memory
What color was it
The day I lived
The day I died
Were all my stars out?

Pain in a ring
Slip off into the dirt

Ring of hurt
Fall over into gray

Circle around decay

Stumble again

Blood and blade.
Rise above.
Could you quit,
If it felt like love?
Forever will I sit-
empty glass,
Fingers old.

Bold passions never sit
Could you quit,
If it felt like love?

You can't delete poems I guess

The flavor of this place
Is choking rancid
Back of the throat
It crashes

Stitch your lips together,
Remain here,
Forgotten by the feather
Of a flock
Now sitting on kitchen tables,
no longer together
Were they ever?

And never
Has there been a moon
I didn't wish to share

With you