life

does not
happen
in
a

drive-by

death does

Whatever happened to following your dreams?
Performing magic for sheer entertainment,
Or making it to the big league and playing for your team

At what point did it all come crashing down?
when did you say "***** my dreams"
just because it was a profession that seems to be run-down

I once dreamed of performing as a wrestler in the squared circle,
then i realized that in life it isn't a straight narrow road
a plethora of ups and downs, and gigantic sacrifices here and there

Now I am only a quarter of my dream
holding on to it, hoping that the actual things did not matter
everyday I'm afraid of falling off, like I'm walking on a beam

In the not so distant future--what happened?
Will turn into It Happened!
And when it does you will see it actually happen.

I went to a brand new town
Spread out across the desert like a prom queens legs

The place has one restraunt
The place has one gas station

I made a mental note to look em' all in the eyes.
The guy at the counter was human enough

His nametag said MIKE
Mike, your *** is mine

What'll it be boy
**** people who call me boy

Just this
bottle of water

That'll be a dollar, son
**** people who call me son

I pull out a dollar
well...a dollar that looked something like a Colt Python 357.

That put a damper on ol' mikes day
I bet that **** fool ****** himself

I wonder If he noticed the sunlight flickering off  guns mother-of-pearl handle
I sure did

Take all the money. Please just don't **** me
I don't want the money, Mike

He whimpered when I said his name
******* always do that

What do you want then.........
Mike, I want to **** you

Sure enough he had to have a reason
The worst ******' word in the world

Why

and its nemesis

Because

You want to **** me just because?
because why?

Right there I knew Mike would never get it
He would never understand...poor old mike

Your about to get a wake up call Mike
Your about to be free as **** and not know what to do with yourself

Mike stands there with his hands up shaking
At home his wife is talking on the phone to her sister about going up there on vacation

Mike says
Please I have a wife and kids

Please don't **** me
Please Please dear God don't **** me

Mikes daughter was making him a fathers day card with a glue stick and glitter
Mikes son was licking the **** of some girl. Parkeed out by the Big Red Rock.

Mike Listens
Mike wants to live

Listen Mike
I say cool calm and collected

Your about to get it mike
Mike imagines his wife reading his obituary

You are about to lose your own soul Mike
You know...gain the whole world

Your about to be free Mike
You are one of the lucky ones

No need to thank me once you've gone Mike
You just enjoy it

For a second Mike looked like he understood
like he mighta got it

Let that which is given
Become lost

Let that which is gained
Become lost

Let this ******* pig, ****, trash, ****-stained-matress of a life
Be put out with the Monday trash

Mike knew he was in for it
Done for

I asked mike if he wanted to die like a man
I looked him hard in the eyes

He said he sure did
I asked him if he was ready to do the work of the universe

The work of god
Yes I am

I hand mike the gun
and the first bullet takes me through the right eye

So slow I can feel the optic nerve sever
before I die

before I die
I see mike standing over me

Looking down at me
this giant bleeding hole in my head

Mike says thank you
I tell him...Hey Dont Mention It

After he empties the rest of the rounds into my head
Mike walks out into the desert

He walks to my car
Fills it with gas

and gets inside
right there on the seat where I left the

box of shells for him to find
reloading

key turn
engine crank

and the car pulls slowly onto the street
the car drives down the desert road

****, it sure feels good to be free

The storyteller
Raconteur
My young life
You tell me
Is a gift, and when I come of age
I will understand

Yet he tells me not to worry
To run in forests
To kiss women
To drink and be merry
This world is so full of malice
One more child
Lost in fantasy cannot hurt it

As I grew I realized
My friends still run in forests
Kiss women
Drink and be merry
But this world is not all malice
Although sometimes it is unkind

Finally I have found the hidden meaning
The long lost
Men have strived for years to see it
Scientist Heroes Titans

But I found it one day
some old summer day
when the sun rays woke me up
-dancing from the blinds-
on the skin of your naked back they danced
so I wrapped my arms around you
and I fell back to sleep

I feel inclined to forget all about you
to just let it all go and pass out to sea
but like stars they come back
thoughts of you every night.

Rember that time
At the end of the path
Full of grasshoppers mating
When We sat on the edge of
The edge of that old dock

I rember because we talked about your dad
How he was murdered some warm night  in may


I rember because we watched the fish jump
How the river went so fast
I can never forget

I rember
Too well

I want nothing more than to

                                                forget


One afternoon we spent together
A lifetime I will still be trying
To do nothing more than
                                                forget

rolling wind
kiss my face
I listen

as God of my
world I must
tell you

I see the world
happen 'for my
eyes

Sometimes I
wonder at you
what world
you see in your
blue eyes

I like your car
Because we drive fast in it
I like your Heart
I like to make it beat so fast
We laugh-the cigarette
Smoke drifts out windows
Your kiss taste
I’ll always remember
Even on my bed prepared for death
But right now I’m far from
Dead
We kissed and drove and stopped and slept
arms cold and white
Wrapped tightly around me
In some white bed
In some warm hotel
You drew a heart on a foggy window
I smile now at how that window broke
I remember you saying something like
“Go ahead, I don’t need you”
And I said something like
“You don’t know what you need”
I thought so deeply of you-for so long
But
We both looked and knew
Forever is a long time to drive

..



.

I laugh
At my
Pistol-whipped
Forehead
Bleeding in the sunset
You have no Ideas
Of my yearning
-Your saynothings-
Say everything
-Your longlookings-
Tear holes in me
Your breathy eyes
Are long awaited
By someone like
Me
Your someone I know
Who sat across from me
In a basement
Who laughed with me
Rollecoastering
All the while not knowing
Your smile Is warmer than any sunset
Even this one
I look at longingly
I know tonight you will kiss the neck of another
Wrapped In the poison arms of another
While I nurse this forehead of mine
This broken heart of mine