I hold an umbrella
Turned inside out and filled with sand
Cradled somehow beneath my grip.
You take my other hand
So I let it slip

I see this pit:
Nothingness so vast
It becomes somethingness
And I see it in their eyes
Looking right through me.
I stand on the edge
Looking at my life on the other side,
They say you can build a bridge
I think they lied.
I scratch at the distance
With wild eyes
And razor blades
And memories of what emptiness looks like.
I see this pit
Standing right next to me.

Awake and asleep,
remember which?
Time is all that's changed
since we last touched.

Clutched in limbo,
between a red and yellow light
sight for sore eyes,
yet you were born blind.

I can feel your eyes:
a blast furnace red and yellow
blistering my face with your touch
pain, glorious pain,
numb smile
that part of me no longer exists*

It floated away
on a sea of sweet silence.
And I let it.

I have become the ghoul
In your faint nightmares
I have become the fool
In your dreams.
Give me pills and creams
To put where things went wrong
To make me into something strong
Long gone are the days
When I was wispy butterfly,
A struggling little cocoon.
I look for a way out

Nothing is too soon.

I thought I could
Fill this up
With whispers and eyelashes
Of strangers
I hold on
to their finger prints
With thread and barbed wire
I throw rocks
And listen for them to land
Maybe then I could understand.
I thought I could
Fill this up
As you would
With thread and barbed wire

All this destruction
Is an unaffordable construction
Of an escape door.
Sometime simple, sometimes more.
What did I want?
What did he want?
They say people are better than objects
I think not

The suitcases are stacked wall-to-wall,
Weigh the same as me, about as tall.

You pound down the door,
Drop more suitcases on the floor

Jack-in-the boxes pop
Out of each, one-by-one, stop!

I take a shot but throw the bottle.
Light a match. Here's to full-throttle.