I imagine the wave
of your hand
your hair
standing on end
at the sight of me
not the me I know
the me you somehow see
through a distorted glass vase
encase me in molasses love
slow my heart down from above
my face facing yours
it was the last time I took a breath

I thought I saw you yesterday
Through my blurred vision
A piston engine, stopped
And was left to rust
In the front yard
They say we all come from stardust
There mustn't be any left
Pick a card, any card
The one you want isn't in the deck

I keep a look out
For your ghost
I keep a knife
By my bedpost
Just in case.

I seek a lengthy silence
To listen better
I seek a sharp object
To cut this tether
Just in case.

I speak not a word
They flew away
I speak a glance downward
That's enough to say
"Just in case"

Maybe I don't want to see you again
Maybe I want to drift away
on a bed of poppy petals.
This soft blanket has become heavy
like lead
it tells me
things are okay
but I can't hear it
I'm too busy listening
waiting
for your footsteps to fall away
for your shadows to disappear
like everything
that was once contained in me
has come and gone,
like the moon.

Twists and turns
Describe the spaces and races
Body processes, yearns
To learn how you tie your laces
Stars group in a constellation
Pointing the way
And through the devastation
I see them like wounds, say
Did I ever tell you
I love the blue
In your eyes.

Blood clotted water
Brown with anguish
Sizzling down the drain
Drowning rain inside this head
Nothing clicks or moves in place
All these thoughts are left unread
So much fills the space
Where you once were

I scramble my brain
Like I used to scramble eggs
For her on Mother's Day
Everything I do
Reminds me of something else
Felt heart melts
Under a solitary flame
My body is on land
I gaze at it through a telescope
I cut the rope
Like I cut everything out

Including Mother's Day.