Trapped between memory and memory
I sleep and I wake and they run still so vividly
I can't pretend we're no longer a part of me

A pendulum
Trapped between memory and memory
The road ahead has yet to reach clarity

So entwined by steps through familiarity
And asking is this natural to be so
Trapped between memory and memory

When I let the ink drip out
of the infinite space
I call mine
it no longer belongs to me

You may read it as you do
if you read it at all
For I am drawing my heart out
and the pictures are all there

How do I do this*
How do I comfort and console
a dear friend suffering
from "the pangs of despised love"
When I know not how to heal myself

The problem is
I know not how to heal myself
Thus should I stumble to find the words
that will bandage the pain
Or silently listen
with open arms

And Hope
the presence of another
who knows those pangs
Will hold

I can not hate the woman you love now
Only jealousy invades me
A monster it is
My hands are emptied by it
My head taken over
Making me ache for you
To see what is real
To see what she really is
When you are not there

I watch her run her hands up his leg
It's not your leg , I ache
The way he laughs and touches her
Not quite the way you do
I am not the one to say
Whether anyone else is good enough for you
Because really am I , I guess I was not
But I know I could not be where she is right now

                                      *But everything is irrelevant
                                         You are the exception
                                             And all I want to express to you
                                                When you're not here
                                                    
                                                                ­                 This is not me

I am a people person
I need to be around people
I hope you are comfortable being with me
I want to meet new people everyday
I love really getting to know people
I've gotten better at understanding people
I love to introduce friends to new friends
I want to listen to everything you have to say
I hope to be there whenever you need someone
I need to make people feel not so alone
I am a people person

By the window
I looked up
Quite alone
And whispered to the currents
What a miraculous shade of sky

She sits
Crossed legged
Crossed arms
And a cross face for sure

But her lips say nothing

Woo me a kettle of love
and sweethearts
Gifted muse
Sing me the lyrics
not by divinity
but the flute of your breath
Play me to the chest
where your drum encased
let my palms sway
Please don't stop your playing
even if it is just a play
For if unaccompanied by your music
my poetry becomes meaningless
nothing more
than lines of letters too poetic

I cannot wander away
From the eyes
The awe in them every time
We meet as if I amaze
Making me feel
Unattainable like a beautiful nun
Not to say I'm beautiful
But your breath tells me so
While the palpitation
Heard through your collarless shirt
Draws my cheek in
You hands arms body
Blanket over me
And pull me closer

1.1
The clock ticked two
The door closed and you knew

1.2
There goes a back turned
That'll never be turning back

1.3
Your silent reach forward
Stopping nothing , caged your feet frozen

2.1
Gifts left , broken , lost , not returned
Though giver proved unkind

2.2
You sobbed through hours of days
Looking for a mirror

2.3
To reignite the moonlight
For you to dance again around

3.1
Still , you walked
Letting creeks fill in your fallen hollow

3.2
Occasionally tipping towards evened out barricades
Yet always eagerly realigned

3.3
Once again letting out fumes of sighs
A freed marionette

I stepped in from the door frame
And the zap delight
As the scattered light
Through the not quite transparent windowpane
Hid upon us
And my eyes caught
A gentle rain tear
Trickle over the modest curve of your lips
Lifted me

Helpless
Watching them break
You tremble

Holding out nothing
But your hands

We'd listen to a song
called Four in the Morning

I made no wishes
But my wishes might come true

Indulging in temporary pleasures
All the empty know
For survival

I haven't moved
Instead of letting me become the part of you
I became a choice you didn’t choose
You fear becoming abandoned
So you learned to abandon first
People come and go
Still I won’t leave
I know promises don't mean much
So I'll stay to show I'm right here for you

Let the people of your past cross your mind
You still remember , that's a sign
You've kept their mark , they've been worth your time
Give them a moment , let your steps rewind .