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 Oct 2013 angelwarm
softcomponent
if i meant nothing to you the w
indows are not my friends and
the wind hits me my response i
s always 'ow! so who was i to
begin with? broken, disgusted
with this man made tragedy c
alled * l i f e * and who was i to
begin with? holden caulfield or
dead, perhaps, or said as you s
peak of me in past tense and i
speak of you with tenseness of
the neuron you are always smi
ling in my mind and you are al
ways smiling for someone else a
nd you never cry for me and as y
ou fade in the physical you becom
e the ghost inside of me haunting
every waking moment and dream
s. and dreams, for godsakes, drea
ms. i was never your other half bu
t you were mine - and i am looking o
utwards for solutions because the insi
de has been lampooned scorched eart
h history no longer eats me alive, you
are not dead - but you are not alive i
nside my head - you simply gaze and
smile and i know that smile is not for
me - he thrusts his throbbing **** ba
ck inside and you forget me with ever
y heaving breath and every successful
****** - i map the categories of a boo
kstore and the crevasses of my mind on
ly to find you with every corner turned
and every door i open.
i, the collapse
 Oct 2013 angelwarm
softcomponent
tell me you believe in ghosts s
o i know who to believe / when
the time comes to ****** / all o
ver the ghost of your face / i pr
omise i won't forget to lie / and t
ell you that i love you / i cann
ot love you / because it is typical
to fear love when the chest is ope
n / the treasure found / and you l
ie dying with your heart still beati
ng in the October nightlife / believe
me when i tell you i wanted nothin
g / but

guts
 Oct 2013 angelwarm
softcomponent
next to the apple tree lay a stool- -
"climb to the top branch and
you'll see what it feels like
when the God's come
around to blow
you down."

she knew I was in love.
she knew I wasn't
much

face painted
like the uppity winds
of winter

our cheeks touched

my cheek now wears her
make-up

(fake blush)
 Oct 2013 angelwarm
softcomponent
Practically everyone fell to their knees at the sound of the whistle. Maszar glanced backwards at the iron rod pressed to his spine and the articulated expression of a misty thought-god that held the holographic weapon prisoner. He believed, and the sudden twitch of dendrites and synapses claustrophobicly trapped him inside of his head- - he began screaming, "too small, too small!" like it made a difference and scratched at the walls of his mind as the Queen of Deza Park dosed her way into the debate panel of his mind for an evening special of Into the Mist.

There wasn't much left to debate when she arrived- - the synapses were firing at one another, frightened warriors frantically snapping their own necks in unintentional combat or disillusioned by the unromance of war. Dendrites and neurons began to shoot themselves hard in the temple as the world swiveled into a whirlpool around them, thoughts crashing through the unprotected dam of the cerebral cortex and landing on the war torn beaches of repressed memory. Slowly, the chasm between Maszar's body and mind began to close- - revealing to the war torn gods the implicit unity within each explicit duality, swapping sanity for quick sand and comfort for faded lenses through which scratch marks created a tear in the space-time continuum.

If only.. was his second-to-last thought.

If only there was some way to measure the death erupting within me to see if..
was his last.
 Oct 2013 angelwarm
softcomponent
(all you'll ever see are the shattered remains of our power game and my quest to retain my weight on the scale- - I'll never let you see the bone you broke, the piece you took, or the impossible daydreams of a solvent-sycophantic and hopeless romantic- - the fantasies of a happy ending I will entertain until the next lover appears and sees I repaired my soul with gold filler)
all the more beautiful for having been broken.

you are my muse. you are my sickness.

you are my musesick.
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