without you,
time passes.
but in such a way
that each second thunders
and echoes out the
silence that you left
behind.

without you,
it is cold.
but it is the kind of cold
that sneaks up like a six
am frost in January.

without you,
thoughts tangle.
the separation of wants
and needs
distorts and muddles
my sanity until I am at
war with myself.

without you,
i wait.
i wait for you,
it's all I do.

the sun came out today,
for the first time in weeks.
i had forgotten all about her.
i had gotten used to the
dreary, grim, and silent life.
i had gotten used to the lack of colours,
the shades of grey.

yet she came to visit today.
tauntingly teasing.
i felt her on my frozen skin.
i stood there, stuck in time,
and i waited for her warmth.
for her to thaw my mind.
no colours ever appeared,
grey dripped all over me.
she left again at once,
so suddenly.

I am envious of the way
that the sun paints
his love for the sky
at the end of each day
in colours
so vivid,
so passionate,
and so full of life.

I am jealous of the way
the world is his audience,
that each person on the planet
can admire
his craft,
the art
that he's created for
his love - day after day.

If I could have a canvas,
one bigger than the sky,
with colours that
the world has never seen,
I'd paint it with
all my love,
for you,
my love.

if I were not these bones,
and not this flesh,
if I had no soul,
and no regrets,
would you finally love me?

if I were not this wreck,
and not this deformity,
if I had no defects,
and no enmity,
would I find happiness?

if I had not these flaws,
and not this disgrace,
if I had no façade,
and no mistakes,
would I finally be human?

familiar roads, familiar bones.
we are surrounded in solitude,
i am surrounded in you.

how irresistible is the strawberry ripe with bliss,
dripping with bloodred ecstasy.
how beautiful is the mouth that feeds on this,
a vision from my carnal fantasies.
how mesmerizing are those lips that kiss,
stained with red and tempting me.

how jealous am I of the strawberry you hold,
in your bloodred stained gravity.
how I want to taste the passion you control,
and throw myself into your rhapsody.
how I want those lips to dance with heart and soul,
upon mine own with sensuality.

Remember the sunset that changed you?
     your hands, your lips, your heart.
I remember the fear in your eyes,
     your hands, your lips, your heart.
The air grew colder and so did you,
     your hands, your lips, your heart.
Shadows of dark blue paralyzed you,
     your hands, your lips, your heart.
The clouds were ready to devour us,
     *our hands, our lips, our hearts.

For all the beauty in
the skies that
hypnotize me,
for ever sunset
and every sunrise
that I've ever seen,
in ever place
I've ever been,
you are the ground
that keeps me stable.
You are the gravity
that keeps me from
flying.