Allow me to love you,
To squeeze your hand without reason,
To approach you and kiss you
Completely without warning.
Allow me to love you,
To spend my waking hours by your side,
And my nights listening to your heart beat.
Allow me to love you,
To touch you without guilt,
To proclaim my adoration for you
Void of hesitations.
Allow me to love you,
To simply look at you,
To know you are mine.
Allow me to love you,
To shout it out without shame,
To love you wholly, intensely,
Without inhibitions.

When I picture my own funeral,
I see a young person in a box.
She is never old.
And though I am sure my family is there,
I forget to paint them in.
I see other young people
Sad, but mostly occupied
By whispering of my newly exposed secrets.
And the people I truly care about,
The only ones with nice things to say--
Simeon the ice cream man,
Ronny the busker,
Adam the hobo,
Maria the dream and Maria the ghost,
Hoodie Man the hero,
And Chris the ****** addict,
Are nowhere to be found,
For how could they have heard the news?
And a few years later,
When they realize I have not made an appearance
In quite some time
They will wonder what happened
To that girl they called solitude
And smile because they can only assume
That most likely I finally left the country
To follow my dream
And try to be happy.
And they will live the rest of their lives
Completely unaware
That my grave longs to be pressed on
By their feet
And my flowers watered
By their tears.

Be brave. Spark a conversation.

Please don't stop speaking.
Please don't ever stop.
Though I refuse your eye contact
And look away,
Believe me when I tell you
That I hear every word.
I love every word.
You could speak of nothing at all,
Ignoring that talk of death I'm so fond of
And still I'd want you next to me
Speaking in that voice
That makes you sound like you're terrified.
Please don't ever stop.
Even as I look up at you
Through eyelashes and half closed lids
Weeping like death just walked in,
Please don't ever stop speaking,
Confused as you may be.

If it happens I shall die tonite,
As it seems to me, and I fear I might,
I pray that you remember me
As the artist I had hoped to be.

If in my sleep my last breath
Succumbs to the call of death
Please remember all the love I made
And do not be shy to remember the hate.

If tonite I shall die while in my bed
(Though I wish I could stay and not be dead)
See my blue lips and remember Adam's song.
With the words under my sheets so you may sing along.