I want to write so many things, but I am afraid.
Maybe I need defeat,
something to knock of off of my feet.
So I can get back up,
and sober up,
but intoxication is so fun.
While I've eliminated one,
others have just begun.
I wait,
impatiently.
Maybe for a perfect she,
I don't know what to be.
I have what I know
but I do not simply know,
where to go.
So I go,
blind at times,
when I'm blind it's the best.
I forget about all of the rest.
Out of sight out of mind
unless I love
unless I care,
but dare I dare
to even care?
I've said too much,
I want to stare into your eyes,
and exploit my flaws,
grammatical or mathematical,
Illogical or improbable,
most likely completely rationally irrational. 
This ranting is ranting,
I hope it gets you panting.
That's all I want.
Let me win,

but don't let me win.
Don't buy into this ****,
but please understand it.

Melting in time,
    Frozen in an image.
      Devastated by my own disposition,
               Dying.
I have seen my soul melt in my own,
             in my own.
    with Concrete bones, It Suffers.
        I comfort myself,
                discomforting others.
    Parasites exist.
     They have never existed.
       I put them In me,
      They have Never existed.

The Darkness overwhelms thee
Consumptions of the Soul.
                         Sensations
                           of Negativity
   Forever I Go Cold.
                    Thoughts provoke The body
    Against all outer will
                    Euphoric pains, they oddly....
       Forever Freeze The Chill.

hello poetry,
you've been good to me
a musical harmony
that must be meant to be

cause and effect
from the clause of neglect
and we reflect

with skin cells standing
a hobby so demanding

The dulling light forgets my identity
A diminishing floor escapes beneath me
     In my eyes Disintegrating
     In my mind Intoxicating
Drifting towards
               something
          something known
              But forgotten is the known
  Visualizing Imperfections
        Revealing Contradictions
    Truth is
  When I Fly
         I see
          What is blind

Set to isolation
  Lust and jealousy
  Life is Procreation
  It all fits, menacing to me
Lies and deception
  Self indulgence, to Please
   Death and Mass Creation
          menacing to me
Inside me, it waits
Decrepit, I want it
Inside me, it weighs
     I hide from what I...
     I hide from what I...