I remember it was at my father's old home,
You came to visit, so we could be alone,
To discuss certain actions and feelings alike,
When I saw you, the air in my lungs got tight.
Excited and nervous, I slightly paced,
As you walked up my drive in all your grace,
How is it that after seven years, I still feel shy?
My heart almost stopped when looked in your eyes.
You had on your favorite dress,
You voiced to me you'd like to rest,
I replied, my room is yours to take,
You said, can you come up and put bed to make?
So coy and mischievous, your smile entwined, yet
So innocent and vague, I could never decline.?
I followed you up the stairs and then,
To my room to make your bed,
As you sat upon a chair of pine,
You spoke to me of the daily grind,
Of how life was half-a-world away,
And how you already wished to stay,
I said, it is so nice to see you again,
It seemed like almost forever and then,
Mid-sentence, you stood, and grabbed my hand,
We stood so close just to understand,
Our shallow breathing gave us both away,
We knew we'd be together by the end of the day.
-
And, My Love, When I Felt Your Lips Against Mine, I Believed In Heaven.
I Believed In The Paradise That I Knew
Were In Your Heart And Mind, That I Knew I Was. I Have Never Tasted Something As Perfect As You. Your Lips Held The Promise Of Cool Rain In The Drought,
Your Eyes, After We Separated From Our Kiss, Held The Purest Form Of Happiness
That Erased My Otherwise Hatred. You Let Me Believe That I Was Meant To Love.
Was Meant To Be Something. You Took The Pain And Left Me Smiling And Smitten.

I found her near a large Oak in the woods,
Not far from where that old cabin stood,
She was sputtering blood and not far from death,
I hadn't much water, but I gave her what was left,
Her eyes so weary and the purest black,
I felt heartless and wondered what her attacked,
Her wounds malicious and so very deep,
Yet she didn't convulse or even weep,
The Sun was almost rising then,
I wondered what compelled such men,
She had been, the passed night, all alone,
I knew all she wanted was Home,
And slowly her eyes went right to mine,
At that moment, I knew inside,
I watched every ounce pass from this life,
I sat there, pathetic, wondering if I could cry,
I heard her last painful and drowning breath,
She heard, like a gavel, my passing steps.

Look upon this withered heart torn from its gaping womb,
From a cage most unintact that splattered this solemn room,
It lies awaiting to beat again yet life just passes by its hollow eyes,
What was once lost could not be found, left with the burden of despise,
A reinvention of mediocrity has met its final wandering doorstep
Yet tragically, the aftermath of such adventure falters forthwith,
reincarnate this heart, this necessary human gear, like clockwork,
And let it suffer and die again in this arbitrary life where death lurks,
In the moment's passing wind, may it hear the name that was its own,
And in its last breath, may it whisper the name that made this so.

Sometimes I wake in bed
Wondering where the **** I am,
Kissing whispered thoughts
Lingering like every word I’ve said.
Each promise kept has had the weight
Of a thousand words like molten lead,
And every summer’s death reflects
Each tear I’ve shed.
A killing season of countless doubts
A sordid, remorseless discourage of clout,
I cannot trust myself again,
I have the same mind as all God’s men,
And in this peace I pray for war,
Something to occupy my altered course,
For boredom is the devil’s playground,
I strive for something, a touch more profound,
In solace I find agony, in agony content,
I wish that I had just one regret,
But in that moment where your own bed feels strange,
I find myself in my mind contained,
What brought me to think I’d been stolen away,
And further, why is it no longer the same day?
What happened to me in my forgotten dreams,
That caused disturbance from my sleep?
Where was I taken, what could I have been shown,
To make this haunted place feel so far from home?

Thank you all for all the love. It means the world to me. If you wanna get down to a personal level with me (anything from emailing work for critique, or just to be buddies) then by all means. Again, thank you guys.
Cheers,
Andrew

Hakrim13@gmail.com
Requiemandrevelation.tum­blr.com
Instagram/Twitter: @AndrewRequiem
Or feel free to message on here.

Nothing is real,
There was never anything.
There will forever be nothing.
In some way, we’re all stereotypes,
We resist the realization that others are not proven,
In that we scheme and worship self-progression…
In any case,
We are not seen by others; we
Observe the projected actions
Reflecting inward, without time,
And we differentiate accordingly.
On a personal level,
I’ve only admitted this to myself (obviously)
For the hallucinations of others can’t be trusted.
This life, for all, is nothing,
It’s but a boring broken shoelace,
Bereft of any meaning except inconvenience.
And sure, we would like to think emotions are “real”, but we kid
Ourselves on much bigger things
All. The. Time.
It is much easier to believe a big lie
When everything we know before it
Were smaller falsehoods peppered with what
We want to believe is “truth”.
Your minds are worthless,
Coagulating each line of words
Regardless of reason,
To what is referred to as
Reality.
I am the enzyme, the prototype,
That allows me to bleed.
That shows me that nothing really exists.
-
Food for thought,
If it did,
It wouldn’t even matter.
You’re nothing.
We’re nothing.
I am nothing.
Because at the end of the day,
Nothing needed you.
What you perceive as humanity might
Saint you, hate you, **** you, love you,
But you will be forgotten in time,
Needed and wanted by no one.
You accept nothing.
You were never needed, nor
Do you really need.
Everything is in your mind,
And your mind, the hive mind,
OUR minds,
Are nothing.

Drowning spectators with hollow eyes,
Crucified demons remain inside,
Trying to be rid of their sullen crimes
Journeys through thinnest of thicks,
The revolting resolution makes all sick,
Burning at both ends of the wick
We are all spared in the eyes of our own
By those of us who share the word "home",
Although, it seems no light has shone,
I can't imagine a place so corrupt,
The fictional realities, this world is ******,
I pray for plague, some kind of luck,
To bring about some sort of disaster,
Upon the broken hand of each caster,
Of woe and porcelain alabaster.  
All the questions not withstanding,
I remain glad to be not worth saving.

Viciously consuming mass-manufactured fear,
You’re just the result of a
Hereditary convulsion of a repugnant species,
A meaningless squirt of protein,
A haphazard ****** felt only by one,
Carried to this world by a loving mother,
One you never call or care for,
You live in fear and hype of a plague,
That only exists in minds depraved,
You’re so afraid to die, you forget to live,
You think you mean the world, but you’re just placid,
You fumble about your Facebook and tweets,
Spreading the same foolishness,
The same disease,
And wonder why no one takes this generation seriously,
You drown the rest of us
In your depths of stupidity,
Your opinions are null
And void of meaning,
You’re worthless in the end,
A repeating machine,
Legalize your luxuries
While you spit propaganda,
Too ignorant to realize
It’s not even your agenda,
Too far-gone to understand your mistake,
You should never burden us and procreate,
Your false idols and extinct gods
Can never help you climb up from ****,
The pile of manure leaking from your mouth,
Never a syllable or an utterance profound,
You “struggle” with demons literally everyone else has,
And claim you’re special, ahead of the class,
You think your lies are based in fact,
How can the internet not be exact?
Caring for problems you can’t possibly solve,
And thinking your pedestal will resolve,
Any problem that may to you come,
Your brain has rotted, your soul undone,
To be fair, I understand it’s not in your interest,
To care about anything shy of your witless
Bounds for glory, or website fame,
I hope you think it’s all a game,
Because if you do,
I suppose there’s some excuse,
To where you think you get off
Having your endless privileges abused.
Hashtag your ******* selfie of every day,
Network your ******* pics away,
I’m guilty too and my mind does sway,
But Christ, aren’t we living for all to pay?
No one owes you a ******* thing,
Yet you walk around as if you own everything,
Head in the sand, salt in the wound,
One nation under ignorance is now imbued.

I’ve never struggled with words before,
The bending of language I do adore,
Yet each time I try to write to describe
Your effect on me my mind just dies,
My brain befuddled, hollow and weak,
Taken aback not unlike that of disease,
I get so nervous, seeming somber and wrecked,
But inside I am all that is vexed,
I want so dearly to be near to you,
I consider the distance but only a step or two,
I wait for your words to find my phone,
I sit still and stare at it when I’m alone,
I anticipate the fletched light to be shone,
I hope someday to call your heart home.

It’s not so much dark,
As it is just hard to see;
I am losing connection
To this reality.
Friendships made,
Mostly severed,
I cannot see reason
In pursuing most endeavors,
It is hard to tell most times
If I am awake or lie still in dream,
And even harder still I think,
To decide where I wish to be.
Behind every great concern, I’m told,
That there is hope beyond the fog,
And yet, and yet,
These troubles do my mind yet bog,
I cannot succumb to emotion,
I wouldn’t even if I still possessed it,
Seeing no logical reason,
But still feeling love is quite perplexing,
I sit outside and consider the stars,
As most men do, pondering existence,
Mindless in my own self doubt,
But weariness is here so useless.
I think of a changed world,
If the parameters were different,
I wonder in contempt,
Whether that would make a difference.
I’ve been told the path behind me
Is just to remind what lead me here,
Yet this solitary indictment
Has brought about present future fears,
“What if” is of the utmost melancholy,
It’s presence an insult in itself,
I’ve seen the most of macabre,
Yet beautiful life is personal hell.
Feeling alone in a world of eight billion,
Is a selfish and irrational thing,
Though no one cares to explain
Why that should mean anything.
Of course my specific life,
By rule must be better than others,
Like mine is less to those above me,
Point is, we’re one another.
Tempting thoughts of running away,
A simple comforting cowardice,
Lay the foundation of an example
And I have taken to hate this.
Why must regret exist,
If it’s so useless an ideal,
Why must I dwell on choices made,
And the nothing that I feel.
I know I am supposed to feel something,
But it never seems to be there,
It’s even worse than dead inside,
I plainly just don’t care.
I wish I had an answer for myself,
And several more if possible,
And if I can’t unmake a decision,
Some future life will be impossible
I grieve for my own mind,
More of it dies each passing day,
And I’ve no thought left for a heart,
That has with time rotten away.
I believe I’m lost,
I know I’m lost.
I walk through answers every day,
Yet the more and more I think,
The more I realize
I don’t know the correct questions.
I likely never will.
Hope is the logical fallacy
Found inside a failed mind,
A fragment of shrapnel
Lodged in the part in my brain,
That would otherwise show me,
Make me believe,
Make me see,
How to be free of it,
Be free of you,
Be free of this,
Be free of this “lost”.

She came, foreseen then,
I waited for her to show
The Plague of the World.

I once caught a gaze that you deemed to spare me,
Your eyes were Andromeda, your hands adored me,
I believe you fell for my sardonic wit and charm,
And knowing my heart would do you no harm.
I was lead to your chamber and then,
It was as if I'd entered Heaven.
-
I smelled the rain from outside your window,
The petrichor and your graceful perfume,
Drunk with lust I stepped forward,
Hoping you were ready to be adored.
You stopped me and sat me down
On a cushion, then kissed my crown,
Then you backpaced with a viscious smile,
And danced for me and all the while,
I couldn't resist you, I didn't try,
If I layed you down, I wouldnt let you just lie.
-
Twisting to your intoxicating tune,
I couldn't but stare and watch you move,
Piece by piece, you shed your coverings,
And second by second, plucked at my heartstrings.
You stalked forward, my heartrythm cracked,
Sitting in my lap now, hands on my back,
It was so vivid, so real, so adorabley twisted,
The creatures in us, to feel, to visit.
-
Your scented bodice enticed me still,
Your lips were parted, nostrils flared as well,
Your eyebrows were arched and quite intrigued,
Your eyes showed me everything you wanted to see.
Avast, alas, a glimpse of the past
You move my hands to your chest and as
I grasp gently your hands go down,
They reach for what you need endowed,
Your fingers then trace the ink marks on my chest,
And then lay on my left side to feel beating breast,
Eyes, they're alive, they cast aside,
You then embark upon a wild ride,
My shirt you lift, my belt undone,
You bite my neck for the sake of fun,
I caress your ribs, your perfect skin,
I am the epitome of sin.
-
You turn around and tease me now,
Back arched and leaned against my chest, and how
You move so delicately and with all vehemence,
I want to know your passionate violence.
-
"To bed then my dear",
I hear you say,
"My darling, it would then make my day",
Your hand on my chest, mine around your neck,
You mount atop and in all bedecked,
In sulfurous longing, and hiding a biting lip,
You take me for a sensuous trip.
Arise, dear goddess, I know not this love,
It's new to me and all above,
Every ****** a moan,
And silence from  I,
I try so hard to please,
I love your breath and rolling eyes.
Faster rotations and deeper depths,
And then you seek to give punishment,
To a crawl you stop, slow and so shallow,
You are the siren that shall be hallowed,
Intensity and pleasurable frustrations,
But with a coy smile you spare me lustful aggrevations,
You return so slowly to increased mach,
In ecstasy, my thoughts all to you flock,
Nothing appeals like the words you speak,
Amidst a room so vastly bleak,
In my ear you gently ******,
The thoughts become real with no protest,
My, oh my, the night goes by,
And time lost is gained with you and I,
Never and forever hold no ground here,
I make you quake, I want to hear,
Hear the longings within yourself,
As I unleash all of your hells,
Faster and harder it comes to fruition,
Taking eachother until submission.

Sing now, for years I've given
To a prophetless religion
Of "loss" of "love" and sickening
Wretched abuse of misery.
-
God of the heartache,
Won't you hear my overture?
Torment has become my heart,
Existence be my pain!
Create a wandering wonder,
Of sounds and intricacies,
Turned to ignorant folly,
All logic holds dismembered seas.
Creature inside me,
Won't you rip out my heartsrings?
Boil them in bilgewater,
And finally free me?
To a world so defiled,
Won't we pray for another plague?
Irradicate the "innocent"
And self-hallowed in their name.
Longing and lost entrails,
Of a muddied buried tribe,
The body seeks its insides,
The backbone it can't find.
Fretfull and apparent
That love lost is better found,
Then dragging forth in sulfurous folly,
And losing touch with all sound.
Run, Charlatan, Run,
Your mistakes will claim your fret,
In the ending, fun at last,
I'll massacre you yet.
Overture of Torment,
The only thing I hear,
All Is Lost In Our Sad Lives,
I Will Feed On Their Veril Fear.

Like the raindrops that once rendered a kiss
Upon my dripping, wonting lips
You watched as the words formed and took shape
And fluttered gently without escape
And by your eyes did I despise
Each time that I had not to them lied
For you saw heartache in my chest,
And softly put my head to breast
To lay and weep and hope to live
The sound of my dying was corrosive.
-
Each breath and tear beneath enigma
Was cause enough for wretched stigma
Although you hadn't broken it
My heart was worth its weight in ****,
And as I passed, you looked forlorn,
Forboding silence on an awaiting shore,
Pretending not to love is worse
Than losing all you had endorsed,
If fate is naught but falsehood's truth,
I'd give the world to not be rid of you.

And it Was that The Holy Father created Man in his image with Adam
And as well it Was that Eve followed in the recurrent fathom.
So that balance was brought about to the world of men,
The Fallen, Son Of The Morning, leading them,
Sinned most grievously upon the Father Of The World,
That in the End, The Lord found something to be abhorred
Through many Ages and upon battlefields Heavenly and Demonic,
The Earth then found its paradise to become quite rotted,
The blood of the fallen Angelic creations
Stained so the ground, that interpretations
Failed to meet the descriptive magnitude,
To begin to scribe the crimson-red deluge.
-
What seemed to be Eternity had passed,
More than some, sick of fighting, took chance,
To live, to escape to the safety of Earth,
To baptize themselves in what once was paradise and birth,
God’s Angels and Lucifer’s commanders both
Fled to live with hope of peace and wroth
The beginnings of the end, without intent,
The destruction would result in the death of the children,
Created of Man, Angel, And Devil’s mixed seed,
The Nephilim created with all spliced genes,
Superior to Our Father’s first,
In strength, in mind, in spiritual girth,
Recorded Here are Scriptures of the last
God-like children from the past,
Describing their Parents in personal detail,
Shedding light then, on where modern day fails

I am crucified,

My own screams awake me, yet,

I feel no pain now.

I find questions to the answers damning;
They quote the darkest volumes,
And speak in whispered tones
That haunt my mind with lemmings.
Thrilling chills reverberate
Throughout my spine, intoxicating
The superfluous influx of aeon.
In Elysium I await.
Forgotten songbirds’ melodies
Are ripe within their own stages,
However, the message behind their incantations,
Mocks the frigid winds of change.
Apologetic reverences deny the peaceful hum
Of every ***** and flute of desire
And of all the lyres to be strummed.
Stumbling upon a corpse of old,
Necrosis doth eat away,
Putridity and phobia have at last been lead astray,
Maggots upon maggots, an **** of disease,
Now struggle for control here,
In the epitome of our dying age.
The eyes that once saw hope,
And the heart that once felt love,
Our absentee in place of rot,
And are swapped with rustic carrion.
The dismal breeze that flow
Swiftly under the crest of raven-wing,
Solidify bones as well as the toxins that
Cryptically burn and sting.
A creation of mass panic, euphoria
Are bound to allow riot’s treason,
A repentance of nostalgia
For uncountable reasons.
Alas, we have but come close enough to success,
To amount in a drowning of failure,
To kiss the shores of dreams come true,
And to be denied of those dreams’ savior.

Songs of the lost few
Who now wither away here,
Tell tales of old loss.

He softly cries until he sleeps,
tempting appeals of angels and weep,
It hurts, the pain,
Obviously, naught to gain,
Which is what is felt whenever a loss,
Of the most woeful kind can endorse,
The severed arteries to heart, and blood
Will stop flowing to it, gently flood,
The rest with gaping holes of hope,
And hope is the depressed man's hang rope
That he ties 'round his neck and prays,
That he may again see beautiful days,
And in hopes when he jumps from kicked chair,
That maybe, just maybe, he'll see her there,
With agony flowing from his eyes,
He can not help but to despise
The dreaming mind and hopeful heart
Turned to bumbling folly, and all false start,
His heart is but a mosoleum,
His mind is but an old museum,
Filled with antiquity, memories of late,
The pain always finds way to gestate,
It's cancerous spread to even make
The muscles within to quiver and ache,
It is colder here, he once noticed,
Upon bereavement of his pretty lotus,
That without her warmth caressing him at night,
He wakes every hour sniffing the air in false plight,
In false hope to find her scent there lingering,
Only To be reminded of cold nights and shivering,
Again the tears find pillow and cover,
He could not remember of times being more fonder,
He imagined it had never been,
That though never helps herein,
Especially considering the terrible ache,
Of even a wretched thought his brain make.
He is truly happy that she is better.
An injured man, he will endeavor.
He decides his time again may come,
And sudden misery will be undone,
But even if that turns to be naught,
He even then won't be distraught,
For either way, happier she'll be,
And that's what he wants most for she.

I watched you desecrate the graves of all I loved that died.
I heard your voice before the light left my eyes,
Your lips that so swiftly spit falsehoods and horror,
Have been severed from many of those who abhor
The thought of your return like locusts' exploded wings.
You live only but to destroy the beautiful things.
I witnessed the struggle of those drowning in your spite,
And your mere essence constricts the air to tight
Velvet that infects the lungs of any too close,
An elephant on our chests, and all of those
Promises and sanctuaries rotted long ago,
But your brightest day looks on the bleakest tomorrow,
I have returned and promised your misery,
And to forfeit your programmed sincerity
This is your Hell from ceiling to floor,
And as you enter, notice my name above the door.

A vast a glorious temple
At its center, a black altar lay,
A ghastly visage,
Nightmare of brighter souls’ dismay,
-
Say your last and come to me,
I will give your life meaning.
So lost were you, that in the end,
Your body I found for its flesh to rend.
-
The Gods have everlasting hunger,
Appeasement must be ingratiated,
They tremble the earth, bloodthirsty,
The Cathedral must be saturated.
-
I vow to stain this ebony room crimson,
If even it takes me all night long,
The Elders speak in muffled whispers,
I swear I will tear through the throng.
-
The Rite, The Sacrifice upon us,
I’ve found the perfect one,
A filthy nightwalker unites us,
Our own ***** Of Babylon.
Clenching both hands about the hilt,
My ritualistic blade awakens,
So wary I am of the evil dagger,
That I hope it is not mistaken,
Down and out, I must cut sternum and sinew apart,
Through the ribs, out the spout, I must acquire her putrid heart,
Her eyes dug out, cornea like cones,
I could stay upon her forever, sleeping to sounds of breaking bones,
I will leave her eagled and free
Until she cannot seem to bleed,
I will lead the sacrosanct
Lobotomy of her sacrifice
There no hope, no other recant,
But to hope you make it to Paradise.
Until every hole on her body swells,
I will conduct for my Gods this Hell.

All the world locked outside,
You tread on despite my cries,
Sewing memories afloat with pain,
And forgetting them in my brain.
Your needle steady, your foot secure,
Upon my now empty chest you endure,
You thread and step across my mind,
You ***** your torture slowly in time,
Of all things now I wish could be
Is that you would again feel something for me,
So that you’d know the agony you’ve caused,
So that you could see the  blood I’ve lost,
I want your heart to again reveal,
I want you to personally feel,
For these familiar wounds have in time healed,
But I want you to know this pain unreal.
It Could Have Been So Much More.

It just doesn't seem the same,
Yet I still look for you to blame,
I made haste laying waste
In the face, fetched silk lace,
To my own heart's melted case.
Lingering lingerie from last night's nameless stranger,
A horrible serenade when I thought your body surrendered,
I called your name when I came like I used to,
A mistake most irate, through my eyes I see you,
Every disbelieving belief in my cynical mind,
I have tried jerking off but just get close to crying,
Pathetic as it seems, a seemingless reality,
I write in paradox and ****** hope to bring to me,
The groundless belief in asinine wonder,
I think of you smiling and realize the sunder,
The corroded attempts of finding someone new,
Someone as smart, as gorgeous, as lovely as you,
I often lose sleep with a painful thought,
How long did it take to forget me?

This night I cradled you to sleep
In my arms, you began to weep,
How could I know this was your last night,
On this earth, of this life
-
Tonight I’ve witnessed disaster,
Her longing heart beat ever faster,
Not knowing who I was to her,
I slept softly beside her,
-
I awoke to darkness, and warmth beside me,
Her body cold, the sheets bleeding,
A razor, tucked in her veins,
Her vacant eyes bore depraved
Lines within her gorgeous face,
In her tears there was no trace,
Of heartache, of nothing but peace,
Alas there was turmoil in her face, creased
-
Tonight I’ve witnessed disaster,
Her longing heart beat ever faster,
Not knowing who I was to her,
I slept softly beside her,
-
I lay beside my deceased love,
Like a rat with wings, a diseased dove,
Spreading sickness, depression,
Love is only submission,
-
She gazed in to my emotionless eyes
I had nothing left but despite
The revolting feeling of loss,
I held her beside me until my heart stopped,
It took days, weeks at that,
Skipping sup and water.
Sticking with but ***** and bourbon,
I drank myself in to oblivion,
Somber silence and muffled screams,
Her eyes never closed, though I tried, and it seems
That love is ideology of long ago,
An unkempt burden of tomorrow,
-
Tonight I’ve witnessed disaster,
Her longing heart beat ever faster,
Not knowing who I was to her,
I slept soundly beside her,
-
And finally on my last night
On this earth, of this life,
I held her frigid body to me,
Cradling loss and tragedy
Though she herself never caused misery,
I couldn't wait for death to claim me,
And although she left without goodbye,
I know she feared to ruin our night.
I never knew what question ailed her,
On the morrow I had planned to ask her,
If she would have me then,
I’d be lucky of all men,
To see her dressed in white,
To love her as my wife,
She slipped away within herself,
She drowned in waters of her own hell.
And as my heart stopped beating, alas,
Her eyes closed, and a smile my lips passed.

I’d give anything to see inside your heart,
I wish I knew if I was who you’re thinking of,
I’ve never cared like this before,
Your mind and body I do adore,
But if this were to be something true,
All I want right now is you.
-
Sleeping has long since haunted my thoughts,
For the dreams have scarcely given in wrought,
I seek you out as I wake,
My dear, this maze I cannot make,
I hope that I can open your heart,
I promise never to bring you apart,
I wish for some kind of hint to show
Me how you feel, if your feelings grow,
I want to write a song for you
With your heartrythm as my glue,
I fight through turns and palisades,
I know this maze will be my grave,
And yet I pursue and find the way,
To the Minotaur, your chest emblazed,
I long to hear your voice in sway
At night in my arms to say my name,
I’m yours already, you’ve no idea,
I can’t even determine if I’m still ******* real.

My lance, my Lord,
Shall purge the weak,
My sword will it then follow,
If not, then cord
Me to a cross, burned until the morrow.
My shield, your arm,
I seek what you would need,
My gentry, my farm,
Is yours, my Lord, for you, my Lord I bleed.

It took a while for me to understand
And see the shadow that plagues the strand
Of hope and logic that I have left
Of being inept, adept at best,
I can't recall how a warm bed feels,
Incapable of seeing what's real,
The scent from pillow is long since gone,
And I question softly, "what went wrong?"
What happened to the paradise,
When did everything need to be precise,
Why does dysfunction find me and lo,
Why does my songbird sing like a crow?
Nothing is as I was taught it to be,
Ill-prepared for "you and me"
Everything seems as if time just laughs,
And innocence is lost in the slaughtered calf,
It's as if I had a future there,
And then the gale blew ash as air,
Smothered the sunlight and took what remained,
Of an otherwise optimistic day.

And nothing makes sense to me anymore,
It all used to seem connected,
Seemingly random occurrences
With an underlying conspiracy.
Yet as I walk about, playing the hand I’m dealt,
It all seems fake.
And I just want to die,
For if all’s true, there’s paradise.
I’m weak, no convictions,
A stuck pariah, son of perdition,
I’ve an evil mind because of what replaced my calloused heart.
Indifference and rage are two of two
Emotions existing here yet through,
I grow tired of these faces,
Weary with apprehension,
Out of my graces,
And hateful of attention.
Exterminate, annihilate, eradicate me,
Leave me out of this creation,
My pity is a dry well,
No sympathy for a societal castration.
I observed the worst in all of us,
Especially in my self,
How can you focus on happiness,
When your own wickedness swells?
**** sadness, I’m hateful,
I prove it with distasteful
Demonstrations of reflected ugliness,
Angry at the world, I have your heart in my fist.
I’m dead to you?
I’m ******* dead to myself,
Burn the corpse and raise up hell,
I’ll make a martyr out of you.

One peculiar dark, and frigid night,
I took to gaze upon the somber light,
Not quite illustrious in their sight,
Yet were inspiration to thoughts contrite,
Acutely I felt, as it were,
To hearing the Biblical thunder,
Yet I could see no seal asunder,
I stared up and began to wonder.
-
They seemed so organic, yet lifeless and vexed,
They  betray one another leaving wake perplexed,
Their existence, a lie to live so convex
The lust, crave-less, without love or ***,
And as my lungs filled again with smoke,
A steady exhale belied when I spoke,
Softly and gentle, hardly a croak,
A whisper perhaps, of a hatred invoked.
-
It  seems to me that this beautiful sky
Is but an illusion, a trick on the eye,
This precious star was dead before we saw its light,
Its life meaningless, a piteous invite,
To feign the bane of the rain's reigning vain hope,
Is to stifle the wonderous seeds of the brain's growth,
Therefore it must be pointed out that meaning is meaningless,
Everything up there was dead long before we noticed.

And why is it that with every sip of bourbon
I gaze into your eyes?
How can it be that I smell your perfume everywhere?
What sense does it make that I see your face in my dreams?
I have not seen you in so long yet almost every thought I have reverts to you....
Though I do not complain,
Somehow it causes pain
To see all yearn, no gain, from seeming I'm insane,
I awake with your kiss on my lips,
For false dreams and hopes, your memory sticks,
What's worse, is that we converse with quips
Of how it may have been, yet is,
You sway as the ocean's tide at dawn,
When beautiful sunlight crest's its yawn,
As innocent as a devout deer's fawn,
Yet your guile does show its brawn,
Your vision to me in dreams is steady,
Stagnant at night while my heart grows heavy,
If only you knew, if only I'd say
That the warmth for you yet grows each day,
Each moment that passes craves detention,
Respect for all my admiration,
Betwixt your legs and arms' invention,
I pray to spend each night's volition.
Of all the words in my graspable language,
You escape all knowledge of my brain's sanguine,
And of all the things I could say and do,
The plainest and strongest, I Love You.

And as the last thickets of trees die off,
The pass opens to reveal a fetid bog,
The layers of sediment building up,
Should you walk, you’ll sink, forever stuck.
-
It looks as if a storm just passed,
The fog and drizzle will now last,
The dark pines and oaks seem so far away now,
They cast a knowing presence upon this cradle,
This open tomb so endlessly hungers,
The mist, a blanket, completely covers,
It would seem a normal swamp
But in its depths lies only rot.
-
No path trodden or trail here lay
No somber road to lead the way,
Just all things broken to walk astray,
The nights are darkness, the days are gray.
Each sticky, dismal, and frigid eve,
Can one hear the faintest tease,
The promise of someone on the breeze,
Someone left bleeding, to grieve,
Open, bloodshot eyes do stare,
Upon a sooty, blackened mare
Plague’s mount here now does feed on air,
Upon your weakened body shared
By the pain and suffering spent
Across a lifetime of regret
Of each an every prayer sent,
Of all the silence returned with lament,
The putrid ground reeks cold and stale,
Between the thunder and mighty gales,
All sentiment gone, your bones are frail,
Each memory forgotten, tortured, failed,
Each acrid breath you come to take
Just seems to be another mistake,
As if happiness is fake,
Think of every step to make,
Of wanting to rest your tired eyes,
Of your longing protests, your weary cries,
Your voice fails you, mouth so dry,
You cannot even begin to cry,
Stretching on for countless miles,
The surrounding stench so vain and vile,
Is has of yet to offer guile,
If only you could rest a while,
Here creatures lurk with fang-ed teeth
They seek upon you to bend and creep,
Escape, escape, impossible feat,
Admirable, stupid, succumb to defeat,
Trudging on, “woe is me”
An army of one wishing victory,
I’ll allow you hope to find solace in the trees,
But I promise, you will never be free

In a winding, twisted fate,
The Brothel, I’ve tried to Escape,
The sickening sounds of lips being ******,
The horrid sounds of those being ******,
The slaps of flesh o’er again,
My mind, I cannot now defend,
I hate every minute, every tick,
This endless clock makes me sick,
I dream of sleep that won’t ever come,
I dream of the day I can run,
Escape, Escape, Escape,
I’ll carve it in myself, it should be my name,
I’ve been mislead, indeed, I’ve been stolen,
But these shallow romances so repulsively sodden,
Have left thoughts so in mind forsaken,
Of each *** and race, lifelessly forbidden
The thought of leaving,
This **** hotel is quite deceiving,
I think of how it became
Synonymous in its name,
With “love" and a quenched thirst
Of our lust and ****** rebirth,
For this menagerie of psychopathy
Is the disease among society,
Eyes that I no longer look into as I speak
Gaze into mine as they endeavor to seek
My soul, laughable, they will not find,
To their credit, it’s long since died,
This wretched place holds me with no interest,
And of how I came about, to be honest
I’ve no recollection.
No recognition
Of anything here, nothing is alive,
All that come, just for pleasure strive,
Empty inside and dying within,
I must Escape this place of boundless ruin.

Hurled, entwined, the eyes go black,

Steel sarcophagus, demons stare back,

A glimpse so foul, of the abyss,

My life, it ends, possibility is missed,

The blood, gooey warm, and slick,

Lubrication of foulest finery and sick,

Glass shattering in mindless trance,

Thrown in the air to land on our back,

Twisted, cruelly formed, we look in oblivion,

Nothing sacred, it fits my life's ruin,

"Take me now Azrael, for I fear you not,"

Death will allow me to find peace and rot,

Worried, fearful, the gore too much,

Too little for my hands to touch,

Scalp displayed, upon landing safe,

I cry out, calming and wait,

The blood drips down upon my hand,

The pale skin turns sanguine, I find it hard to stand,

Entombed in metal, a twisted turn of fate,

She leaps to thought, I caress her cheek,

"Safe, be still, I'm here" I repeat.

I relocate my shoulder, a sickening pop

stomach turning pain, the faint I stop.

I wrench the door, and run around,

I rip hers open and rip casing to the ground,

Too shocked to cry, I gaze upon the wound,

I assess it as severe, although life is imbued,

_

CALL FOR HELP

I scream like the Devil.

My wrath for nothing but fear of loss

Drives my fury for her safety lost,

I hold a bandage to her head, and wait the eternal wait,

Speaking comforting lies, hoping they were true, and damning my own fate,

I hold her close and kiss her cheek,

I wipe the blood from my lips and realize I am weak.

"God, I'd give my life for her to heal"

Maybe it's a nightmare, this cannot be real.

-

In safety's arms, I still cry out,

I'M FINE, SEE TO HER, in doubt,

I leave my bed to wander the halls,

Searching for my name be called,

To be exhaled through the lips of a love,

To find my heart flutter, the wings of a dove,

The sight of her stabbed my eyes,

"Something so precious...", myself I despised.

I fought my way to her, and was almost placed in arrest,

I returned calm, I'm no help in duress,

I stand by her side and kiss her hand,

As my heart died, she smiled, I could stand.

Upon a path of trepidation
Walked I along with hesitation
I trudged forth in contemplation,
Remarking on my indignation.
I felt as though the road would end,
Each step came forth again and again.
To pass the time, I counted sins,
Not religious exactly, just decision’s wind,
I thought of my own life, and how much change
Had plagued my mind and my own cage,
The prison in my head that I live through,
Even though there’s worse that I could do,
I closed that link before I could
Think of things I knew I should,
I “forgot” them throughout the years,
To push away all of my own fears,
With that then settled
The road I reveled.
I noticed the dust on this forgotten trail,
Each step disheveled the dirt so stale,
I noticed I hadn’t been the only one
To walk this trail and be undone,
But I was however the first in a while,
The steps i left behind me were straight and filed.
-
Withered whispering romance had wilted away
A faceless me, within I decayed,
The road was vast and all omniscient,
The weather indeed was quite consistent,
Muggy, dreary, a hint of mist,
Melancholy so, that I wished to be ******,
I would have loved to be drunk again
As I had been so before like many men,
To take upon this journey but straight,
Would have felt like bringing train and freight,
It is important to realize
That I was alone and not in guise,
For to find myself, I was myself,
There was only I to seek for help.
-
about three days had passed along,
Wondering if I was even strong
Enough to find the cross in road
To decide which way that I should go,
When in sudden surprise there came,
The cross in road appeared to exclaim,
I could go straight, left or right,
As one would think it might,
But each direction had their own feel,
So much so, I thought it may not be real,
I gazed at each about an hour,
And witnessed their foretelling in my head as they showered.
-
The road ahead was static and unchanging
I found myself to be salivating,
Nervous, the feeling crept on through me,
The sensation of the same emotions, unruling.
I thought of the looming possibility,
That to change anything was not in my ability,
That I would be forced by past to walk this path,
Straight on and forward in a droning, mindless trance.
This startled me and I quickly thought
That I had best my chance be wrought,
Left or right, like straight, I felt both,
Like a voice somewhere inside bequothe,
“Lest ye not choose wrong dear boy,
Or you, I fear, will die empty in ploy.”
Chanting choruses of Gregorian nature
Repeated that stanza in mocking stature,
The repetition to the point of depravity,
I digressed, I became my insanity.

The venom in my words is acid

as I look at the lake, so placid

I gander at the bodies floating,

their rotting corpses decomposing,

synergy of death and life,

their faces contorted,

expressions of strife,

Their dead eyes meet mine in search of a blessing

like that of which I could care less of caressing

-

although I hear them clear as day,

their ears are deaf to what I say

It truly is a pitiful shame,

those who Azrael never did claim.

only they know what they’ve done,

their mouths are stitched, they’ll tell no one.

as they rot, their minds will burn,

silently screaming what they most yearn.

-

Though on the minds of some, they creep,

Their lamenting screams lull me to sleep.

and as I drift off, my words are acid,

as I smile and gaze upon the dead lake,

So Placid.

The River was dredged in multitudes,
A shadow of foreshadowing,
Against the mud and ichor, the servitude,
...The mass of bodies that came to floating,
Each face found lifeless, frozen genocide,
The peace in death, lost senses,
Against the tides the Moon hadn't faced,
The creeping stigmata, relentless.
Each one found their own disgrace,
The shocking scene of horror,
Left aversion in each innocent face,
Disturbed, the fishermen who found it
To be gentile in its own way,
The bloated faces rotting,
Beautiful in their decay.

Your world has come crashing down,
The sheep misguided, the flock astray,
The ice chiseled without a sound,
From your heart that is dismay.
You came to me without love,
I've broken your wings, little dove.
-
You asked me to fix you,
Broken, I attempted to fix myself,
I created a most wretched worldview,
Listening to you scream for help.
You came to me without laughter,
And I will make you suffer.
-
Engaging in whispers and deluded heresy,
You, behind my back, defied me,
I watched your passing most timely,
What became of you was revolting.
Alone I stood in what contained,
The abyss inside shall forever remain.
-
Keys to life held within stars,
A daunting vision of fabled death,
I'll destroy this sky of ours,
And become a haunting, ghastly figurehead.
All things for you held promise,
Until I butchered your vague innocence.
-
I know when your tongue lies,
It's all too familiar, my love,
I'll tie it 'round your eyes
And gaze upon it from above.
I once had love for you,
Despite what you put me through.
-
The creature inside me has awakened,
Although it never really could sleep,
You my dear, don't be mistaken,
Are the focus of it's greed.
I am what you cannot ****,
Oh, how I haunt you still.

The sun did Icarus no favors
His fateful day of flight,
Inanimate or not,
Certain bodies enjoy our plight.
-
Once again, lost in
False perpetuation of “hope,”
Idyllic fantasies
That such a notion exists,
This symbiotic altruism,
Supposedly reciprocal
In its false entirety,
Is one major devastation
Among many in our evolution.
-
Giving “freely” in “good will towards man,”
Thinking to ourselves we’ll be rewarded then,
One hand offered while the other is expecting,
Trudging through miserable life without correcting
This anticommunal sentiment
Progressive aggression, breeding resent,
We stumble through life filled with **** but “good”
Swallowing lies we create, falsehood,
The never-existing pure encounters,
Justify our ****** parameters,
“Do for me, I’ll do for you”
In fear, in hate, we come unglued,
Lay blade to table and swear your life,
You’ll never surmount, be above this strife,
Inexorably determined,
Our society lives upon scraps
And ideals old men have thrown
From a tyrannical table
Made of outdated theorems
And objectified values,
Deemed “enough” for us,
And we settle in our filth
As we praise them for their charity,
Wet with anticipation,
We just wait to be privileged enough
To be in their good favor,
To provide their main course.
Our poor blind children,
Knowing nothing of their enslavement.
Lick the hand, all is well,
Die for your master, live in hell,
Survive this canvas,
Post a status.
Die for nothing.
Universally irrelevant,
Galactically meaningless,
Walk the foggy path toward
The void, culminating in
The apex of your misguided meandering,
Blinded all your life
By all variables denying your right,
Your natural freedom,
You waste of humanity.

Meandering down the trail of old brick,
Saw I a siren of death and sick,
Her skin so pale, it looked diseased,
All was nothing compared to her beauty,
She lay across a hill on a blanket,
Her raven hair at each of her flanks and,
She had open a tome of what appeared to be names,
Also undressed, I looked away ashamed,
She wore only a set of bedroom garments
And eye coverings, all black adornments,
Scars radiated through all of her features,
And sat beside her were to handsome creatures,
Pups of age and loyalty,
To Her, I guessed, they owed fealty,
Ferocious beasts they, they peered at me,
I was but calm, unfaltering,
Twas only then did she spare me a gaze,
She smiled then also, and beckoned me stay,
For whatever reason, I felt necessary,
To comply to each whim, each want and need,
She rested on her stomach across a grave,
One that jutted out among the staves,
One leg kicked up, the other lay,
She appeared so peaceful, given the day,
I bowed my head, keeping eyes for respect,
She acknowledged without any contempt,
I stepped forth and approached Her, not to intrude,
I walked presently so as not to be rude,
I arrived and lingered until she spoke,
“My darling, you and I have prods to poke,”
She said ”I’ve watched you since you arrived,
And long before, I must contrive,
I’ve fancied you for quite some time,
So in this yard compose me a line,
I’ve planned to see you here through,
And to make sure your mind yet is unglued,
You see, I’ve all right to be intrigued,
Your mortal love does yet suit me,
You’ll learn to love me as you do my father,
Of Him you know, you’ve loved much longer,
Of Him you have written countless rhyme,
And now, in love, I’ll have your time,
Then be off, for we can’t be,
So sad, truly, we are misery,
Alas, I will hear you now,
Speak your rotting words of love, perhaps a vow.”
Shocked, I stumbled in my mind,
Speechless, I groped for a rhyme,
To compose for a lady that asked me such,
Much less, for one with love’s interest,
I searched across the vast of land,
For the most somber sorrowful strand,
“Sweet dying flower, December’s tears,
Grant me a visage of festering years,
My decaying heart rots at the loss,
Knowing the pair of us are lost,
If this be the only sight of you,
Granted my eyes this one time through,
Every night hereafter I will weep and weep,
Until I may see eternal sleep,
Your endless eyes, and body fine,
Would I reminisce of touch, and taste wine,
Until I may lay in bed with you in,
To wait forever sounds like death and ruin.”
I whispered my last line and there she quaked,
“Oh,” she said ”how my heart does ache.”
We looked at each other and then i knew,
Who her father was, and then Her too,
She was the keeper of the dead and dying,
Of which my heart knows not of crying,
Fancied with me as I was with her,
Her father, Death, my greatest Sir,
One day, I thought, I’ll make her mine,
The three of us then, will rule darkness entwined.
-
Like she said, I then had to leave her,
At least until i died and could see her,
She bade me well with a full lipped kiss,
Her touch of lip so cold, and bliss…
Upon the path I again stray,
Enjoying my otherwise darkened day.

Set forth, I endlessly walked about
In search of salvation for my doubt,
I heard not once the birds in chirp,
Nor did I hear a prayer usurped,
I struggled to find a cause for all,
I found clarity in a sunken wall,
It was aside the path entangled,
So close to the edge, it nearly strangled
The sunken road upon which it lay,
But kept along those lead astray.
-
My footsteps seemed to echo on
The mass of bricks they stomped upon,
Once, I’m sure, a gorgeous red,
The bricks were grey now, neutral and dead,
Favouritism struck some paths here and there,
Popular people, families, and fare,
Though some stood alone, the weeds grown around,
Forgotten names and unsodden ground,
They hadn’t lost yet their sense of foreboding,
The lone standing pillars of remembrance, eroding.
“Food for worms…” I muttered and quoted,
Alas, the meaning, I couldn’t have doted,
For ”seizing the day” had it not meant to me,
But rather a gloomy sense of mortality,
I felt as though nothing ever mattered,
The human existence, dark and clattered
About the same misery,
We all must live, but we’ll never be free.
-
Searching out the scenery,
I, lost in thought, was scant to see,
How beautiful the day then was,
Broken down and all because
The sun didn’t seek the pavement’s shine,
The wind slightly whispered through the vine,
The grass, most dead, gently bobbed,
The light, the corrosive clouds did rob,
And it struck me in sections as to how it is,
To seek, to find, to know what love is.
-
Admiring this path, its twists and turns,
I rather likened it to Life unnerved,
It seemed as though all ends to life,
Congregated amongst all terms of strife,
Like all waterways unto the ocean,
They all met here in tumultuous commotion,
Lessons and morals could always be learned,
But this experience was what I yearned.

A vile serrated day that suffered
The wind and the air to be stifled,
Spread sick among the ashes of burning,
And held silence upon the screams of yearning,
Yelped frigid chorus of agonistic moans,
In pain and torment, of rotting bones.
-
I walked along a path paved of marble brick,
My temperment unnerving, my gait was thick,
The path aforementioned halted upon a gate,
There opened, I saw, where the dead gestate,
Leading down a snake-bodied trail,
Tried as I did to turn back, I failed,
I saw no reason to leave the place,
The corpse garden, it seemed, held great solace.
-
Trudging down in acute contempt,
I struggled to see all but lament,
Comforted, dare I might say,
With being surrounded by extent of decay,
I flowed forth as if some purpose,
Guided me to them, the reason unsurfaced,
At where I found them sitting aside,
The trail of things in past belied,
Quiet, and leading to the body swamp,
With scars detailing drunk mourners’ clomps,
Chipped and chiseled, repaired and mended,
The Stairs awaited me and repented.
-
The first step sat on the top of the hill,
Where the path veered, silent and still,
A narrow case were these stairs so shrill,
A horror oozed from them and fear me filled.
I could not but wonder why irony had found,
That in the graveyard, it started profound,
Aside this step a great living tree at each flank,
And aside the bottom a matching pair, but dead and rank,
Like a gateway from living world to dead,
This whispered somber secrets to my ears full of dread,
I took the first step and it’s concrete creaked,
Rather odd, I thought, a sound for stone to secrete,
Or was it a muffled wince of pain,
From another mortal stepping again?
-
The weeping willows here feigned not their name,
For I heard them cry again and again,
The tragedy in bark and each branch,
Etched inside were names and romance,
Initials of lovers on the first two trees,
Rotting off the second set like some disease,
The twins were mirrored like that in a story,
But this was reality, this was horrifying,
I knew their fate even without a headstone,
They loved and died, and only the trees had known.
-
The perils of this place seemed haunting,
The grass so green and at peace, seemed daunting,
I took each step with trepidation,
The caution here lingered with anticipation,
At the last step I was greeted with a chill,
The faint breeze had just marked another ****,
As I stepped forth once more on to the earth,
It seemed as though the staircase lurched,
I knew then I could not leave,
Until I’d seen all of what was bereaved,
The only thought I could think was one,
Were I to die here, I wouldn’t be alone.

Bounds and bounds of names of the forgotten,
I wandered through the dredges of solemn
Wastes that had entangled my thoughts,
The antagonistic braves of loss,
The ones who’ve left ones petrified,
The ones who’ve died, left crying alive,
I have also forgotten each name,
The false memory of these people, all the same,
Dead is dead, this flair for the living,
This selfishness bears no arrogance deceiving,
I am one who welcomes death,
This fortitude alarming to some who step,
Along the edge of insanity,
I am the abyss, the abyss is me.
So strong I was, walking head high,
Disregarding tokens left behind,
Until a sight then stopped me cold,
A sullen grave but marked ”Unknown.”
-
I couldn’t move,
I was frozen in place,
I was then proved,
My heart, indeed, was laced.
Not even I, who so asked for sleep,
Could even stop tear
From escaping me,
I couldn’t stop but wont to weep.
-
Aside from the sorrow ”Unknown” had caused,
What’s worse is that he had someone,
Here I was, alone and hateful,
Someone remembered, and was grateful,
For the stone had upon it but five little roses,
Alive and well, not dead like the others,
Some person some where had remembered ”Unknown”
So that not even ”he” was left alone.
-
Destroying everything I have believed,
Spiteful, hateful, and aggrieved,
I stepped back and cursed him in jealousy,
Fell back, I tripped, shocked, and conceived,
That perhaps I was thinking like a child,
Everyone deserves there life so mild,
Who was I to curse anyone?
All in all, I wanted everything undone.
-
The real beauty in this situation,
Is that no one earns stagnation,
No one knew him when he was buried,
But someone now shows care and hurried,
To his site to show their love,
I just hope he’s diseased, but Above.

Awakened and running from the tomb,
I held what was dear, intellect and groom,
The grooming of intelligence and common sense,
At one point I thought there was no difference,
How could all of humanity be this insane?
I try to help, I’m no hero, in vain.
-
Running wild, I found the path
The winds and turns, cornering so fast,
I got lost within its woods,
Until I stopped, lost, and stood
Aside a trunk so broken and old,
I caught my breathe before a cold,
The breeze picked up and kissed my cheek,
I pulled my collar and felt so meek,
At some point, I started to endure
The path again, walking once more,
I thought of everything today had brought,
The lesson, the woman, the thoughts they wrought,
I thought of old times and hating things then,
Not knowing in time I’d hate like a man,
Pre-determined, with knowledge and ability,
To make the judgment with further virality,
In contempt I held all that I’d known,
A willing sacrifice upon a stone,
I walked with venom until it struck,
A visage so wrathful, it had me stuck.
-
Speechless, I paused and looked,
I stood there agape and almost mistook,
It for a leviathan, it was that grand,
A massive tree that surely there stands,
It must have been a thousand years old,
Seeing true tales of stories unfold,
Its grandeur surpassed all before
I’d seen or heard of in stories of yore,
Its beauty was a roaring wave,
Its white, dead bark and leafless branches depraved.
-
The dead, white Sycamore stared at me,
A bench underneath it beckoning,
When I sat, I knew nothing but dark tranquility,
I felt my blessed suffering,
I’d only ever known what agony,
Had life ever had in store for me,
But sitting under this guardian,
I could have slept soundly and quite solemn,
The chill in its bark warmed me inside,
I shared something with something in mind,
Its arms lingered over me and forewarned all out,
That I was not to be touched throughout,
My journey here, or ever again
Would the dead infest in me herein.

Standing sacred amongst the dead,
A mausoleum built, protected,
It watched and witnessed the years as they passed,
It remained silent against life so vast,
A vigil reminder that the dead can be kings,
The wealth of many don’t think of such things,
Remembered in death as they were in life,
This fixture wept beyond their mortal sight.
Of broken hearts and dreamy fog,
The Mausoleum held inside, a bog.
-
I witnessed it upon the path I walked,
The dead-end, so to speak, it frightfully stalked,
It almost glowed a neutral grey sheen,
Aghast, I looked past with thoughts of being,
I emptied a heartache upon a pillar,
It reached to me and my hand now withered,
It called my name once in the silence,
The voice so hollow, in hallowed solace.
While this garden with dead did proliferate,
I opened what was once the tomb’s inner gate,
I stepped inside not knowing what came
Next for me in life’s theatrical game,
Surprised to see it held a catacomb,
I walked its halls in vain, entombed,
Cephalic attacks of thoughts herein,
Requested presence of answers therein,
Creatures and demons alarming inside,
We take the most identifying and hide,
We look to find we are the same,
In life, in presence, in thought, in vain.
-
I saw the bodies that rested yet here,
They seemed so at peace to sleep for years,
One cadaver at the end of a hall,
Seemed to beckon to me and warned of fall,
The steps leading down, treacherous at best,
I looked at it more as if it were test,
Test of strength, a test of will,
But my insanity would not keep me still,
Hidden between his skeletal palms,
Was a page ripped out of Bible, the psalms,
His favourite, I imagined, but it shook my spine,
Because he appeared so clandestine,
So surreptitious, the look upon his face,
He hid no remorse for passed mistakes
His teeth decayed like his mind did in life,
His bones festered and caused him great strife,
Were it not for the pedestal that held him up,
I wouldn’t have seen aside him a cup,
A cup full of sanguineous red,
The shuffles on the floor from where others fled,
I took his cup and drank from it well,
The taste of old blood, congealed, from Hell.
I then could not have had foretell,
That this would put me in a dreamlike cell,
I stumbled on the floor and rocked,
My thoughts of reality were then so blocked,
I couldn’t hold concept of anything,
I fell asleep and awoke in a dream.
-
The Nightmares, transgressions of the dead that lay
In this catacomb, suffered a fray,
A war between families large and askew,
The swords of fathers to sons imbued,
They bred them with hate and raised them with blood,
They fought their battles as sons best could,
One of them had their internals leave
Their stomach, and organs were bereaved,
Because of a ”friend” that with a knife,
Decided against his opposing strife,
He feigned a hug and with his fist,
Wrenched his weapon and did persist,
To tear his friend apart, depraved,
He cut out his heart and his father gave,
His son his burial rites,
The other family far from contrite,
Desecrated this mausoleum,
The battlefield turned to Coliseum,
The young fighting old and not knowing why,
The women and girls lost much and cried,
Their men would not have any of their words,
Ironic to not hear pleading songs of birds,
The families lost while being forewarned,
Both now lie entombed, both thought of as scourge,
The mischievous gaze the skeleton gave,
I now understood, I thought I was insane,
Even in Hell, he battles them still,
I learned not to let idiotic persistence cloud my will.

As quickly as the mind can fathom,

descended I into the chasm,

I am a hate-filled ****** cage,

A blade-****** creature of rage,

A tempest in the gale of Darkness,

A bloodied cruel phantasm.

from His palace, to this earth,

I have traveled and been through rebirth,

I have come to cleanse your sins,

to absolve your evil,

to **** again.

I am Azrael, The Angel of Death,

The Left Han of God, and Man’s Lament

You have displeased He who is Holier than thou

although you regret what you know,

you refuse to know how

you were and still are ignorant of the rules

That He Himself laid down

therefore you will be smitten

by the king of the clouds.

there will be no forgivenness

he has been a witness

to this pitiful world

an your wretched existence.

you will feel my scythe

as I cut you down

like worthless, fetid crops

rotting like the bodies I drown.

you will feel also my anger

at your cursed race

though He is not,

I am consumed by hate

for all of you who took this for granted,

just know I sat in the Kingdom looking down,

unable to understand it.

Now the Reckoning, the Reaper is here

and I can smell and see, even taste, your fear.

I have been sent to claim EVERYONE,

and I will not stop, rest, or sleep,

until I am done.

She sits, and she’s pale and cadaverous,

her black hair, short to her chin, the dye in her skin,

the corpselike designs deify her to me,

and she is marvelous.

-

A snakebite in her voluptuous blackened painted lips

eagers me to receive a curious kiss

upon my own who so long for,

the taste of her, like nothing before.

-

The gorgeous permanent stains of ink

upon her *****, thighs, arms, and calves,

exemplify her smooth pearl-white skin

her delicate tattooed knuckles and hands,

could now easily tear me in half.

-

As i try to look away

from that teasing, black lingerie,

she turns and looks with pale blue eyes,

the most wonderful I have ever seen,

so far into my soul she delves that I admit,

I am but a lowly, mortal being.

-

This Goddess of death, this Massacre Angel

what some call not a treasure,

she is in all my nightmarish dreams,

and I always owe her the pleasure.

-

I am a slave to her eyes,

that so easily peer through me,

it is not that I tread not, or wear disguise,

but the answer always eludes me.

-

Though she is my unholy holiness that

grants me dark in wretched light,

one day I shall pass and our spirits

will lay together for an eternity of

a macabre romantic night.

Invisible forceps hold my eyes open,
Incongruous actions have my mind stolen,
At where beginnings end in misery,
At where "The End" is stressed bitterly.
Corrections and titles have made amends
To resounding ripples of tugs and bends
Upon the surface at where life may lie,
And carry us all beyond mind and sky...
Yet locked on the bedrock and solemn remains
Of which sins of fathers now decay,
We sit upon catapult, on trebuchet
Awaiting a life in which we sustain
Charitable notions and build the way,
For a time in which we smile in the rain.
It feels as though I'm lost in a dream
and am searching for water in steam,
Possible, improbable, awaiting the cool,
To siphon it down into a pool,
And perhaps there my flooded reflection
Will not surpass without detection,
And maybe I will gaze into myself
And realize I am here to help,
To see and touch and taste and feel,
To hear and Be, a part of what's real,
I will know the true darkness inside my eyes,
By looking beyond my own disguise.

Always remember;

Those who dwell

In stone houses

Should not throw glass.

It'll cut your feet,

You'll bleed on the cheese.

But again, Blood Cheese

Is a delicacy among us normal ones.

-

Now I have somethin'

A little somethin'

A cynic feelin'

And quite revealin'

About me stance,

And about me dance,

And skippin' the days' rope,

With the entrails of a dope,

Perhaps not that last,

That's far too passed,

Casual conversin'

And time's birds be chirppin'

So you'll sit and wonder,

Of things and blunder.

-

Ya think you're free but lemme

Speak of that bein' ill advised;

Ya sit there shocked

At a world provoked,

Well this is my world, revised.

-

They tried to match an army equivalent to mine,

They tried, they tried,

Admirable and amiable,

I hate when masses gather against me.

Their intestines and other assorted guts

Adorned my dining table and sweetroll plates.

-

The Greymarch couldn't have happened at an odder time,

Inconvenience is madness rhyme,

Therefore I purchased a hero of suspicious sanity,

Unfortunately though, he turned to depravity.

Me servant stood and told him what,

To do and there and when and such,

Sheoth has seen some better days,

Although it hasn't yet seen worsened days...

-

Brilliance of Pelagius himself,

That awful Breton ****** himself,.

Although the conversin' was enthrallin'

To say the least,

To rise up once and flay the beast,

Me Wabbajack corrected all the physicality.

-

Doin' the best on behalf of a master,

But not doin' the most he could endeavor,

It don't befront what he could affront,

The contradictions

Of his existence

Were at the very least concernin'.

-

Correct me if I'm wrong,

But I wouldn't advise it.

A hero could always do better,

Always,

Unless he couldn't,

Unless he dies. then another

To replace em'

These things tend to happen when

The entanglements come along.

-

Whether it be better to

Affront under certain weather,

Has nether to be seen on this endeavor,

But forever will be never unseen,

And clever.

-

Forgive them with revenge, for

It has yet to be determined in

Their extermination for the wrath of

Passed sensation, pray blocks their

Affiliation to Jyggalag and affirmation

Of recreation in Order, and abomination.

-

Hear me with your mortal deaf ears,

Pray tell, how have you got lizards and not gizzards?

It seems undauntin' that you may have hauntin'

Dreams of His return but not of the others?

-

You must wait on your own cheese,

For cheese be earned not given,

Unless given after earned,

But earned is the important part.

-

You're livin' in a glorious world of hellish rules,

The damnable expectation of sanity come freedom,

Though, I am the freest bein' who I be,

Demented Mania be the only way to go,

The only road,

Unless there be another in the way,

For if you know where you're goin',

There's no point in goin'.

Out Of Love, There Is Born Reject,

Out Of Rejection, There Is Born Failure.

Out Of Failure, There Is Born Faith,

Out Of Faith, There Is Born Damnation,

Out Of Damnation, There Is Born Realization,

Out Of Realization, There Is Born Hate.

Out Of Hate, There Is Born Freedom.

Fear My Hatred,

Fear My Freedom.

Fear Everything I Am

And All I Will Become.