Another lie upon your lips,
I tasted it with our last kiss,
It seemed so vague,
Now much more clear,
That you, nor I, should now be here,
You find comfort in my hemorrhaging
I can’t help but smile you pretty thing,
So ugly behind that beautiful face,
Contempt finds me upon disgrace,
I twist the knife myself, what’s worse,
I welcome it, for what it’s worth,
I can’t help but notice that you twitch
Whenever you can pull a stitch,
A piece of me that leaves you vexed,
I’ve no empathy, not so complex,
And yet you pick at the infection
So vehement in your doomed defection,
Just to see if I there halt,
Awaiting some cryptic result,
Some declaration of my love lost,
Some tears perhaps, a rose to toss,
But if I were capable of salting this earth,
I would’ve done with you dispersed,
Spread you throughout this lying land,
You’d be at home, just as you planned,
In my chest there resides hate,
Like Azathoth lying in wait,
It must be lulled, kept sedate,
Until, as now, it stirs awake,
For you it bites at bit to take,
It is that which God can not unmake,
No conundrum or mistake,
I will take that which you can not replace,
And if it came to that last kiss,
If even there was no consequence
I still would see you drown in ****
Than taste that lie upon your lips

Piece by piece, shard by shard,
Nothing calms my mind thus far,
Intertwisting writs with weight
Do, indeed, rot my thoughts’ sake,
Whereof is this place you seek,
The telltale heaven of which you speak,
Your useless dream, I’m curious,
Let’s not pretend, it’s pretentious,
All the weight of things come gone,
Remaining leagues lost, fathoms undone,
You’ll whither here like everything else,
Your mind, a lie, life never caressed,
Feel free to lose yourself in fantasy,
And pretend it’s not all make-believe,
You’re splintered, fractured,
Broken and shattered,
You’re lost in delusions,
Then again, so are we all,
But I know nothing changes
When we finally fall.

The wind was but a fleeting rustle,
Tampering with her straightened dress,
She stood in peace atop a hillock
And let go of all she had repressed,
I watched as the breeze found her face,
So soft and pale, so calm and fair,
It lovingly turned her cheeks to ash,
The rest went piece by piece in air,
Like the residual cackling
Of a yet burned log
In a fireplace glowing
To ward the fog,
Her mind found freedom
While I witnessed loss,
Where she found completion,
My eyes did gloss,
I wept like a child in mourning
O'er some sweet dreams and wake,
Yet the idea seemed so alluring
That I wished the wind me take.
So as I walked up the hillside,
And saw her dress on the ground,
I wished for that same feeling,
To be ever one with the shroud,
I took myself to calling,
Quietly in hopes to hear,
A response in turn to me,
So that I may this world clear.
I stood alone for so long,
I had forgotten why I remained,
But a smile found me before too long,
And on the wind, with her, I remain.

It’s not so much dark,
As it is just hard to see;
I am losing connection
To this reality.
Friendships made,
Mostly severed,
I cannot see reason
In pursuing most endeavors,
It is hard to tell most times
If I am awake or lie still in dream,
And even harder still I think,
To decide where I wish to be.
Behind every great concern, I’m told,
That there is hope beyond the fog,
And yet, and yet,
These troubles do my mind yet bog,
I cannot succumb to emotion,
I wouldn’t even if I still possessed it,
Seeing no logical reason,
But still feeling love is quite perplexing,
I sit outside and consider the stars,
As most men do, pondering existence,
Mindless in my own self doubt,
But weariness is here so useless.
I think of a changed world,
If the parameters were different,
I wonder in contempt,
Whether that would make a difference.
I’ve been told the path behind me
Is just to remind what lead me here,
Yet this solitary indictment
Has brought about present future fears,
“What if” is of the utmost melancholy,
It’s presence an insult in itself,
I’ve seen the most of macabre,
Yet beautiful life is personal hell.
Feeling alone in a world of eight billion,
Is a selfish and irrational thing,
Though no one cares to explain
Why that should mean anything.
Of course my specific life,
By rule must be better than others,
Like mine is less to those above me,
Point is, we’re one another.
Tempting thoughts of running away,
A simple comforting cowardice,
Lay the foundation of an example
And I have taken to hate this.
Why must regret exist,
If it’s so useless an ideal,
Why must I dwell on choices made,
And the nothing that I feel.
I know I am supposed to feel something,
But it never seems to be there,
It’s even worse than dead inside,
I plainly just don’t care.
I wish I had an answer for myself,
And several more if possible,
And if I can’t unmake a decision,
Some future life will be impossible
I grieve for my own mind,
More of it dies each passing day,
And I’ve no thought left for a heart,
That has with time rotten away.
I believe I’m lost,
I know I’m lost.
I walk through answers every day,
Yet the more and more I think,
The more I realize
I don’t know the correct questions.
I likely never will.
Hope is the logical fallacy
Found inside a failed mind,
A fragment of shrapnel
Lodged in the part in my brain,
That would otherwise show me,
Make me believe,
Make me see,
How to be free of it,
Be free of you,
Be free of this,
Be free of this “lost”.

Application of misinformation
Falsify a failed nation,
Eradication of all creation
Misinterpretation
Of representation
Deny the station
Granted by occupation
And the inhalation
Of justification
No prerequisite information
Just accumulation
No moderation,
Their determination
Through stimulation
Cultural *******
Communal degradation
Societal desecration,
Dehumanizing revocation,
Worldly humiliation,
Mortal sterilization
Never achieving mobilization
Lack of communication
Excelling in vile persuasion,
Proponents of procreation
Birthing digitization,
Destroy civilization,
Indications of adoration
Isolation in delineation,
Irrational indexation,
Fluctuating indignation,
No innovation,
Divination
Retaliation,
Immolation,
False ovation,
Lacking limitations,
Contextual intonation,
Divine fabrication,
Private publication,
Evolving fornication,
Give me extermination,
Notwithstanding annexation
Of dismaying oxidation,
Of valued perpetuation,
Global mass-castration,
Redundant rhetoric, dictation,
A donation, a dilation, a fixation,
An annotation of fibrillation,
We are personification
Of Contamination
Through globalization
Praising idolization
And finalization
Through *******,
No pragmatic exoneration,
In all frustration
We see not utilization
Nor stabilization,
Fearful implications
Of wayward stations,
Surplus mutilations,
Seeking militarization
Of worthless nations,
No conservation,
Just excavation
Of the population
******* on education,
Spitting on graduation,
No validation of aspiration,
Indoctrination of baptization
Mitigating litigation,
murdering habitation,
Quelling all vegetation
We will end in radiation
Through faulty navigation,
Abdication and abnegation,
All worldly agitation
Leads us to expiration,
Self-made annihilation.
There was never an end in sight,
We’re lost, and hope is a lie.

December, a vision,
A most wise decision,
I believe a derision
Left us all alone,
Nothing between us,
No one could have seen us,
This event completes us
And leads us along,
My mind was so clouded
And as we were shrouded,
The rest left confounded
And sent to atone,
To seek willing penance,
To break their dependence
To find our ascendance
An encompassing throne,
I seek, we yet make it,
Deciding to break it,
Knowing not what’s at stake yet,
We sought a true home.
But finding revulsion
Furthered compulsion
Our hearts’ errosion
A broken gramaphone.
No memory corrected,
No statue erected
We became infected
With our words in tone,
I looked o'er shoulder,
No longer could hold her,
Or either composure,
Left a haunting moan.
Seeing not corrected,
My soul now indebted,
Forever inspected,
Silencing a groan,
I walked as if courted,
My love, I aborted,
To see you contorted,
My dear, so distorted,
I find self remorseless
Morbid, forsworn it,
Disgusting discourses,
All else but abhor it,
It seems so alluring,
Though mildly incurring,
All but securing
A life worth enduring,
I’d say it was the last thing that I said in this world,
But that’s just a paradox, and a lie beyond that.

I once saw the sun burst into tears,
Knowing that you left the night,
You came about and all my fears
Were cast out by your light so bright,
I can sometimes think of when I was
Supposed to know the path ahead
Yet each time I watched you step
Along the shores of seas so red,
I wondered to myself inside
Could she grasp, reach in to me
I wondered if you knew I lied,
And saw right to the depths of me,
I couldn’t take but every whisper
Spoken softly, sweeping sweetly,
It took all I could to fester
Suffering, sad, still swells completely.
-
The quiet calm of mercy killing,
Save me from my darkest self,
I do not deserve, nor do I belong,
A cry, a plea, a call for help,
A faint but fleeting fluttering feeling,
Leads me to believe I’m wrong,
A precious hand shows, all revealing,
Lead me astray, away from the throng,
A cold, calculated discontent
Is but plaything for lament,
Falling faster to descent,
The whole way down, do I resent,
Dreadful illusion of ascent
Hypocrisy to some extent,
Plummeting further, hate ferments
My anger does logic augment,
Lying again, my way content,
Life grows hard to circumvent,
Theory slows, stagnant, latent
All forms of love I must forget,
For all my sin must come repent,
It grows harder to pretend,
All “beautiful” life must, please, end.