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Andrew Owens May 2016
Today feels like second place in a race I was the only one participating
Participating in showing love just because I wanted to be enough for you
But in the end I never will because I never stop even when I have time to ****
But I don't want blood on my hands when I could have you
Andrew Owens Apr 2016
Gone is the wind when day turns to night
Like the air I breathe before light of my life
Steals my very breath
Just a kiss to forget
In my embrace you hold time in place and we are together forever stealing each other's breath away
Just one look at you and my heart begins to pound in my chest because I can't believe I got this far in love with you
Andrew Owens Feb 2016
I didn't know what to say so I stayed silent. How could I use mere words? this is a ******* dream! Still, I'm glad you're in it. With all the vibrations in the universe, yours is the most beautiful I have ever felt in my life. Stars don't shine when I look at you. They burn with fiery passion. It is a beautiful thing to me that you don't yet know you're beauty. It excites me because I get to show you and I will do it so extravagantly.
It was love at first sight that I chose to ignore for what felt like a long time. Yet, somehow you were still drawn to me even if just for a brief moment in time for time is seemingly eternal. Does love die so quickly? Or is it a ghost forever wondering through life and death, living through mortal beings capable of expressing it and with every dying breath expressing true emotion of deep regret. I ask because I don't know. I don't truly know anything. I just experience my own existence and I'm constantly reacting in some way. Like death is poking me, prodding me in some direction until I reach the end. And you came along. Maybe you didn't mean to, but my god you were so beautiful, so breath taking. How could my words truly grab your interests? It was easy to pretend I had little to no interest because I felt like I had to in order to protect my heart. Talking to you would have caused it too explode. I don't know how it happened, but I am happy I got to hear your voice. Your voice is like no other angel I've never heard. To catch your every word and then to catch your embrace. To hold you so close is like feeling a dream I never thought would ever come true.
I love getting lost in your eyes, your beautiful shining eyes. Maybe it's a good thing you don't know how dear you are too me, how special you are and how much you mean to me. There's a reason dreams don't always materialize and for me it is because I don't think there's enough space. That's how much you mean to me. Just the little while we have known each other, you have helped me live. It warms my heart to feel such a sensation of something so powerful that beats in my chest.
Being with you calms me so. I feel so weightless with every kiss and I will always go back for more. I may seem calm and cool on the outside, but you have no idea of the burning desire and passion you've ignited in my heart. I hope I don't burn you out so I will attempt to slowly reveal it all to you over a vast amount of time and maybe, just maybe you will enjoy the ride. I do so love the time I spend with you, floating through time and space. Eternity has never felt so full before and I could stay forever with you.
When the infatuation dies, then you will still see me there with you. If you will still desire my presence, if you will love me too because I already believe I love you and I don't know if I can hold it back any longer. This is how I'm telling you. The way I will show you will take years and in case I don't have that long, I just want you to know before our time together is over. Nothing lasts forever and I hope you will make this vain attempt with me for every moment with you is just so magical in some way or another. Life passes by so fast when I'm with you and that's why I feel like I could grow old with you. Yet I feel so alive with you.
I just want you to know you are on my mind and in my heart, so in some ways you are always with me. I want to be more than a memory for you, I want to be your everything. For me, you already are.
Andrew Owens Feb 2016
I close my eyes to the memory I have with you
call it infatuation if you must
I call it exhilarating
when I looked into your eyes
as you looked into mine
and I felt a smile in my heart

I held on to every second I had with you
like the ocean holds on to the beautiful image of the moon
I held onto you

it was more than a kiss
more than feeling your lips
I never thought I'd feel this way again

for all I had with you, it was more than a day
and I never wanted it to disappear
not the memory to simply fade  
I just want you here
Andrew Owens Feb 2016
There's few people I trust, but ****
you give me butterflies
Andrew Owens Jan 2016
I failed
I couldn't reach out to any of them
not for long
they wanted to be understood
none wished to understand
truly
honestly
walls that couldn't stop death
but rather
prevent life
emotion and intellect cannot thrive
for some time and still today
we are born to die

My mind wants to wander
My heart wants to love
If I have a soul
I want it to be

Solitude is my oasis
it is away
becoming more of a home
a part of the earth

I feel myself getting closer
closer to silence
closer to feeling
closer to her

loosening beneath my feet
swallowing me
slowly enough for me to say goodbye
to all the poison leaving me

molten, passionate love
becoming the very beating of life in me
warmth emanating from the core
spreading outward to just beneath the surface

I am cold and hard to all who dare to approach me
to look at me
to judge
but I am not lifeless
I am not a part of your country
not your territory of any kind
I am not a part of your culture

I use your language so you will understand as best as you can
because you do not have the ability to understand another
truly
honestly

I am returning to earth
Andrew Owens Oct 2015
I see images of you flashing in my mind
pictures my heart holds on to
so one day I will find you
with all the hate I face every day
from someone who has promised love
a broken heart and broken skin are what I have to show
I keep moving, holding on to what I have of you
just an image my mind has made of you
a reality I dream
a love I crave
your touch
I want to feel your embrace
I just hope I am not too damaged for you
so much pain has been put on me
I have bled for love before
sustaining toxic cruelty
psychotic rage driven abuse
there's a lot of anger and sorrow in my heart
a lot of fight left in me
I endure silent tragedy
being in this love
separated by doubt and misery
I am all I physically have
my illusions are my own
I hope I find you before it's too late
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