My shell is my home away from reality
Pain the senses on me so I can ascend from worldly pleasures
My psychotic breathing is my only euphoria leaving my lips
tastes of insanity and the will to reach through reality
I relinquish control of the mundane and monotonous
so I may collide with the unknown and be the envy of fear
I am just a power who struggles with beauty and emboldens the ugly
Inside and out
somber drives the blissful inside the dreams when I am awake
with closed eyes I witness the abstract
my heart is going nowhere
stuck in a loveless bind
for once, the mind and body both want to leave
I: the consciousness that which exists in synapses within a singular being
must go to bed

I can't think of anything without being guilty
my mind is ***** and my hands are filthy
like a **** as pretty as a flower that is wilting
keep digging me more holes I'm always filling

my innocence is like a child you left at the store
and didn't realize until you got home
sorry is all you'll ever be when I don't want you anymore
without you I'm just me and I don't mind being alone

The sun is shining on the surface
shedding light on the beauty of wilderness  
life is sprawling and ever present
just like a dream you swear you could feel

A dream to a person who wants to escape
escape from all the responsibilities bestowed on to him
responsibilities of endless labor with little pay back
so someone who is deemed more important can continue
continue to reward themselves from everyone's hard work
as they merely collect the benefits

Go to sleep and have a dream where everything isn't quite what they seem
forget about people doing what they call necessary evil in the name of good
grand illusions await to show you a different kind of dirt that would seem so clean
compare it to the toxic filth they want you to use and make you feel as if you should

Dreams give us more than one life and which life do you really live
do you hurt people instead of using your ability to forgive
as if it didn't matter and if it doesn't then why do we exist

From the souls of windows
come the the admiration of a dream come true
from the laboring point of view
for the love of freedom

Imprisoned to serve another slave
work to remain
earning a life to be saved
as the illusion of time goes to waste
eyes begin to open and the mind escapes

Taken away as one drifts to sleep
indescribable experiences create secrets one cannot speak
promises of silence always to keep
it is in other words, inner peace

Motion of euphoria
created by the longing for a personal heaven
wanting to feel alive
walking away from the endless void

Endless stares into space
beyond the sky filled endless face
an alternate reality seems to be made  
just trying to find another way

Emptiness is an embrace
at it's best in absolute zero
no emotion
no existence
no warmth
and no life

it is alone
a giant being filling every space
in and out of known existence
with cold calculating precision
no passion

Yet it can lose so easily to everything
because it can only be compared to nothing

immeasurable
even in the way of our universe
emptiness carries itself beyond

Neither organic or synthetic
it is ethereal
larger than anything

stars and the nebulae they live in
if stars are alive
then maybe they feel it too

a screaming silence with a whispered touch
embracing the warmth and light
because it knows endless darkness
it has no day and cannot call it a night

Knights of the Nebulae
sustain and destroy life
for when they die  
they push everything away
only to be born again

such beauty  
to be a monster and a guardian

so small and precious  to emptiness  
if it could feel
it would be eternity

I feel my spirit carry my body as if I am neither one
walking through the woods, touching leaves as they brush me
drops of water from the morning dew drip from leaf tips and branches
birds are chirping along with other sounds of wildlife that cannot be distinctly seen
as I wander deeper through the woods I suddenly become surrounded in mist
darkness and light dance within yet out of reach
I wonder if it will come to me
then I hear indescribably beautiful sounds
as the light gets brighter through the forest  
darkness defines itself even more as images taking form in close distance
the mist becomes thick like fog and all becomes quiet all too quickly
I keep walking and forgetting my age, the reason I am here tied to it
there before me I see a throne of trees
roots that seem to have been feeding from the ground for a long time
big as ever and yet they move as if they were living creatures
a pitch dark figure with no felt presence with a very much piercing gaze
stares into my eyes with his made of starry light
he told me I will never die here, but to my own kind
I am already gone
I will forever wander the woods
until I prove I can become a part of nature
and suffer mankind

to lay my soul to rest I came
immortal here I remain

I fill my head with lies
maybe I'll believe in something one day
I cut myself with memories of times past
bleeding emotions all over the moments
lying on the floor
drowning in an abyss of indifference
looking at all the happiness
has turned a beating stone to nothing at all
occasional fits of rage to show I still care
wanting to end the anxiety caused by the measure of time
how long do I have before I'm too late
pass the day away treating souls like slaves
like paper will ever be enough to pay back the time loss
give me a piece of you
maybe then it will be worth something
when I can sculpt an anomaly made of pieces of arrogance
what about my memories
they won't just leave me
my heart used to ache for pleasure
now the emptiness deals in business  
happiness is waiting at the end of it all
this existing race of time with a purpose
to carry us all to our end
using fear to push us along
enslavement using the whip made of materialism and the endless hunger for more
blood of innocence for the dreams of tomorrow
these are my new memories