My tears should fall but they don't
so let the rain pour It's been so many years down this gravel road
lately the thunder Storm been out of control, thought I could hide it from the one I love the most its like the clock keeps on ticking but my world just stop spinning
its like a hour glass sooner then later I'll run out sand
flip it over  cycle becomes another cycle once again, will ever end

Look into his eyes, he is smiling at you. But inside, his hearts broken. The years show on his smooth face. The pain in each wrinkle the years of past. With every bright glimmer you see the pain and sorrow. He never lets this hold him back. He holds his head up high. For he has become the man he is because of his pain. His heart is open wide. Love for those around. Always putting others before his own. He only wants others happy, and at times there is a price. His own. His feelings he wears proudly. The canvas is his skin. He paints you a story and wears it with pride. With each buzz of the needle, dot of the ink. He becomes more the man he wants to be. His life is full of sorrow, trouble and turmoil. To see this man you know he has pain. But he wears that smile so bright for  you can't but have a smile along side.

Please do me a favor. Don't forget I'm your friend. I love you all of you. Even your bi polar demons.

I try to change
But my life is circle
I Go down that road then do a u turn
go back down to my home crawling back up to the surface.
Fall deeper Screaming can any body hear me
Voice aches I just want these changes free
Surround by these demons
I was afraid
But now I call them my friends

Foot on the gas
Life is crazy life is fast
Stay true you make it threw
Conquer your fears
It ok to shed some tears

Starlight i never knew  
Moonlight shines upon me
Sunlight doesn't bloom  
Black roses all around me

You lay there with demons in your head
Curtains have dust on them
you don't want to get out of bed
Knock on the bass drum
Screaming leave me here to dread
Click from the clock
You wish you life just stop

Razor blade
next to her.

Pain killers
She can evade.

No one knows
why she committed.

was it because she got bullied
Wearing a sweater Around the halls?

In 85 degree weather
To cover up her scars?

Or Cover the bruise
What her dad gave her?

While her mom on that
Couch Intoxicated.

Start it when She was little
Thoughts that she don't belong.

So she left a Written letter
Under that window pane.

The one she gaze's out
As once called her friends.

Explained a little
About her pain

She keeped the worst
Inside her head.

The cricket be chirping
Under the Moonlight Shower

Thunder be roaring
Everything silence

Echo-Still everything fells louder

I don't know lost boy
Echo-where do you want to go
To the moon beams
Echo-I don't know lost boy
its beautiful through
Echo-is it to the sunrise
A eclipse in the night

Dark in the darkest of the darknees
  echo-  I can't sleep At night  
  she Comforts me with her poison
  Echo-I loved you---edit
  That's why you and 1 drowned
  echo- this Battle Ever end
  scream im screaming im screamlist
  echo- my lungs burning
  you make my life a rollercoaster
  echo - money missing
  the car be swerving
  The hummingbird guiding mewith its light

Love inside a pen
Chapters without a end

Just want  to release my pain that I held inside so long

I can't take it anymore
Im Tired of these pills just to balance out the  high and lowes,

Struggling threw life to find your meaning
Running away from your fears
I know that feeling

Drinking, smoking, popping pills, *******, just to ease the demons

Your Walking down a path that you dont walk down
If you keep on going sooner or later you be
passing your tombstone.

Tears finally start to fall
Then black  raven flying over drops a Fire rose
A Dove flys Over drops a white rose

Now you decided what rose you want to go.

The boy sits alone
Echo- why so mearstone
He has no where to go
Echo- so he sits under a ceibo
Like thunder without lighting you feel lonely
Echo-  hail and rain you become snow

Came along a old wise man
Then he told me
Mental illness is not a weakness
Its strength
doesn't matter how much times you fall
Its how bad you want to get back up and smash your brick walls
There is hope you just need to have patience then comes faith
There is always a light in the dark in the darkest of the darkness
Just keep on marching through the muck
Pass the poison ivy vines
Fight your demons
Face your fears
I believe in you son
Then he vanished
Just then i realized i was the old wise man
Helping out a total stranger

Feels like im chasing a high
To ease this Pain of mind
Suffocating everyday
blackness roaring in
So i sit
2 am
3 am I can't sleep again
as my tears stain this thin
Trying to find A medium in life
But im lost In this thunderstorm of my mine
So hummingbird, hummingbird
guide me with your light

Mental illness
Judgement is the new definition

Riding under the city lights
poison ivy got me faded
lately my life been crazy
so i fill my cup up with 100 proof,
i don't do no chaser
t's like gatorade you got to stay hydrated
alcoholic bipolar manic major depresses
you have no clue what goes threw my head
demons apprehend my brain
i lost my soul down this road
broke my compass thru this pain
so i reclin back
watch the stars fly by
cruise control
music screaming suicide

She sit there with the razor in her hand
every scare tells a Story
while blood Stains the carpet the thunder keeps Roaring
she just wants to escapes so she cuts deep with a razor
Wishing it will end her pain
but the rain just keep pouring
mascara running down her Face
the lighting keeps cracking
thunderstorm in the kitchen intoxicated
she trying to block out noise of bottles shattering
her body shaken what she is about to do
she picks up the pen her hands trembling
lays her head on the pillow
life draining from her arm
falling into a unconscious state of mind where she feels free at last
no more long sleeves in the school halls getting called names that she shouldn't of got called
no more coming back home to lighting..Her..thunderstorm,

He prays to lord
There's no lord above
Only the devil looking down
He lost lost his soul
Where is he post to go
If he broke his compass down That road
He's trying to find his faith
But he lost his hope
The black rose replaced his heart
Eyes burning fire
But his veins ice cold

He feels cold
With a heart full of emptiness

His life unflods
As he sits in total solitariness

He's a tombstone
With thoughts that are restiveness

**** life

that's All she is

Tired being nice

**** Her friends

They call Her up

They want to chill

Give Her space

Trying to find who she is

Trying to find the way

To make them

understand

What the pain

She go threw everyday

She brings it up

then they are running back away

Like She insane and crazy

But we the same

Only thing is off

Is are brain chemistry

So She sit in back in the class

Teacher talking

She raised her hand

Why dont we have

A class about

The mental ill.

He drinks more then usual

smoking more then usual

he's losing control

he's about to crash


Silence all around the room

Clear

Watching him go threw this kills them

Clear

There nothing that they can do

Clear

It's in his hands if he wants to keep fighting


He's happy more Then usual

Smiling more then usual

He found purposes

He now helps others

Let the thunderstorm scream
It's just wants to be free
Let the black bird sing
It just wants to have a voice you can freel

Storm sirens sings
While the tornado screams

Rain pours down
To make the pain river peal

I promise I'll be there  
When the thunderstorm roaring loud
I promise ill be your umbrella
So The rain Dont pour down your eyes
I promise I'll be there
When you need help to break your walls
I promise I'll be your pillow
So you could go to sleep at night
I promise i will wait
Its to exhausting to run
I promise I will be there
Doesn't matter how far I am
I promise I will Forever dance with you
Till Our song ends
I promise I'll be there
So Let are hearts lead the way

Starting rumors to your friends what you didn't think was normal
Then your friends mix up the words to there friends
There friends add some words what you didn't say
By the end of the week the whole city infested with the plague
Because One person wasn't normal
walking around holding a conversation with no one around look down at the pavement wearing winter clothing in 100 degree weather.
All the stigma in the air making me nausea
Come take a walk with me just for one day
Might change the way you think before you start whispering those evil things to your friends what you didn't think was normal

What am I doing wrong
As I sit here with BULLETS' in the chamber
Russian roulette to my invader
Suicide Contemplating
My life been so Intoxicating
Something Got a hold on me
Lately it's been slowy squeezing
Now I'm suffocating
They say I can change my ways
But I hardly believe it

We been threw some things yea
I thought I could restrain you
I just want to tame you
It possible to change her
Every time I Try to put the Fire out
It puts the flames up

All you do is say sorry it wont happen again.
You blowing up phone 24-7
I showed you the way out the door
But you keep knocking to come back in again
So I Chain smoking these cigarettes
Till my lungs cant breath No more
Pain pills,Eyes dilated, Just to erase these memories
Your the only thing killing me

Pain in My head
Pain in my heart
Where do I go
Where do I start
Well I'll tell you it's in dark
Sufficient in the fours wall
Where the demons crawl
And where the devils talk
Pain killers not do nothing to me
Dr ordered **** what they mean

Sitting here in the darkness trying to scream in a atlas. Pen with no pad is penless.  Cut my wirst so deep call it witness.  Let me scream till I bleed out please beacuse I can hardly take it.
Cocain in my system i I don't take it
Codeine in my system I don't take it
I stay down true
I don't ride rule
I'll always be true to you

That little boy sits all alone
On that same bench way to long
While they walk hands intertwine
All they do is judge
They have no clue
What he goes threw his mind
Popping pills
Just to make it to tomorrow
Talk to someone
When Music screaming suicide

Sipping lean Rolling blunts
Lite like fireflys
Bottles pouring
Bodys dropping
when you hear da devil start
Roaring,

Ocean dye so blue white flower print dress,
It half pass two, a hey from you
This is my rendu,  her beauty so artistic
Ocean dye so blue, white flower print dress
Ocean dye jazz blue, white flower name bess,
With a I do, how did you knew
Ocean dye so blue white flower print dress
It half pass two, hey from you

his foot on the gas
His heart full aches
switching lanes
Rearview mirror of his past mistakes
driving way to fast
his life been black & grey
cigarette into ash
head in the clouds
pills on the dash
there's no break to be found
so He might need to crash
to slow His thoughts down
C

Somebody save me
I cant take this anymore
Can anybody hear me
Or am I just talking to these demons in my head
Cuz I cant take this agony
I lost count how much miles I walked on this road
My thoughts so scattered
Looking down on this shattered bottle
Pain staring back at me
Trying to stay away from the past
But the thunderstorm keeps getting louder
The lighting keeps on cracking
Feeling emotion anxiety so much sadness
Im tired feeling lonely
Tired feeling lost
Tired feeling cold and numb
I just want to feel loved
But recently I been suffocating comprehending,arranging these thoughts
Trying to find the key
But im just playing hide and seek
They keep on telling me to find a shrink
But no ever gets to me

Mend your heart back together.

Live, love, laugh, forever.

Look through my eyes
Beyond the mask  
I lost my soul
Down this road
I dare you too take a walk with me
Pass those demons prowling eyes
Through that maze
Where you don't want to be
You probably won't make it alive
But that's not up to me

balmy night
A Car starts
Reveling Starlight's.
Crickets nor whisper
While tangled tree branches
Dancing in a harmony.
Rising over the crescent
Far and near
Begins a choir.

I light it up
Let my cigarette burn slow
Looking at all these Girls
Like what they where though
I Filled my cup up with love
Im on cruise control
Siting back
Watching the world turn slow
Let live for ever young
Im in love whenever I feel numb
I not the one to trust no
I woke and said love Cant save me
Im hopeless saving
So close to the edge Im fading

12 am
My brother called me
He told me he was bleeding out
Those where his last words
Still my tears don't fall
So let the liquor keep Pouring down
Keep that barrette playing
Its feels like home to me
Lost so many Homies to the game
I dont know when I lost my soul
Im trying to change my ways
Its getting hard every day
Never felt in so much pain
Half my pomes
My tears don't falls
Just writing this
my tears just pour
Im trying my best
But half I not
Where am I posted to go  
If im lost
in the back of skull
I got a pack full of thoughts
That I can't control

Wind wishes

Flock of doves

Sun beams

Sea salt

Crack rocks

Thunderstorm

Lighthouse

far fog

Storm vicious

darkness keeps roaring
                                                       Its calling my name
Light keeps on flicking
                                                       That's the other way

.                      Trying to find a balance

But That.                      i                      cant understand

a picture hangs

above a chimney breast

while a fire crackles its light

she hides under a mantel

while two dogs play outside

with snow feathers

in the moon beam

on a balmy night.

that picture of you and me
I keep it in my memory.
dancing in The rain.
Sand in are feet.