Because it's quiet

that's why I write ****

that's when the best ****

comes alive

through the screen

The lights fade from orange to white

and I'm a ghost trapped in between

Shapes fading into one

Watch their faces change colors into none

We all fall down into something unknown



My mind seems like a children's book

changing characters after every scene



I feel a little sick

Influenza has gotten the better of me

This is what D.R.U.G.S. do

Destroy rebuild until God shows

When?

I wanna meet the dude in person

Close my eyes - I've forgotten what I was saying

                          ^until

you see through your own eyes

the blood that I fear for life

don't let it creep through

the forest and the leaves

I'm tripping on the branches

Falling in the trees

I wish I was stronger to get through

I'll see throughthefireandtheflames

I'll see the otherside

My eyes will break free

I want to try this
Explain something unspoken

Cymbal crash – and it’s over
Lover my dear, no more
Save the devil from speaking out
The *** is boiling over;
The competition between the martyrs
Who can die first?
Who will live last?

At last, I figured this out
Or did I?
Did I die for the sake of the conversation?
When you took me in,
                                     did I have a chance?
I fell into it,
                   I should have turned away.

You didn’t look away when you smiled
                for a split second
I saw the sun through the grey sky above

Tan skin: from your summer spent
Experiencing the ecstasy of your melody
What’s your name?
Today’s date
Or the time of day
What is your price to pay?

Wake and then bake
To the sounds of the earth
The clouds on my shirt
Reveal the places I’ve been
The haze in my eyes
The faces I have seen

Not scared anymore;
Living for

We will build a carriage
Out of ice and nice dreams
To take us across the bridge of screams
And sighs like nights passed through
The sorry trees

With their necks soon to be cut
From the hand of the son of the old father
And the new fathers sons will arise
And cut his old fathers throat
And watch the signs fill up with
Eyes in disbelief

They have known and know
Rights to snap and creak
The speechless mouth
Of the fathers son
Wide open on a sour leaf
With a strand of hair
In the shower drain

Clogged up and
Stained down
To the core

I wanted more
I never settled for less
I waited for
I saw you at your best

You gave me your eyes
I took them into mine
And drowned slowly
In your beautiful ocean

I started by breathing out
Loud in a darkened room
Her hands and my feet connect
And lace our better essence together
For a few good shakes and turns

With a spirit there (where we kissed)
Or a feather floating (in that room)

I made the better choice to not look away. . .

My cheeks are circled with red
You are barely breathing and
Trying not to show the other-side of
Your nightly dream of me

You dream a lot of me
A lot more than I remember of you
I do have dreams but they are
Mostly terrors of my haunted youth

I have a lot of feelings and
Many things to put them in
But your dark room clouds the place
Above my head and below my neck

You can kiss away softly. . .

Let me tell you about the night when
The fingers and lips will meet
To form connections that join the hands
                                                                   and feet.

I'm still here, but I'm not.
I'm struggling to spit out the broken pieces
of yesterdays wrongs.
That devil that loves me so
He rings in at his own pleasure.
Gives the man at the door a hundred dollar bill
and moves in.

Crushing, captivating
Unfathomable, unraveling
I'm ******* useless. . .
Hello, goodbye
Welcome, Welcome
You're just in time
I'm sorry that you made it here
But you're just in time
To see my seven worlds collide.

The silent crimes between you and I. . .
The other story that was never told. . .

I love to watch my world be destroyed
It take me seconds of a march
and I can spring into it like the thirteenth day of April
or in another thirteen days, we'll see if we're able.
The final day on earth.

Leave me now too.
Explore the the expansive explosion that is my mind
The thoughts that were open, now torn away, so kind.
Maybe the grim reaper is near
I wonder if I'll see him today. . .
Or in the perfect silence that splits this room in two
Into a vast plain of nothingness,
Or into the dark void of consciousness.

Just don't fall in too deep, or you'll never make it back alive.

I've spent many a night
In a sort of weird conception
Under the wicked wing
Of some what would be angel.
With my only eye stuck on the
Lover of satan and witches brew.

I couldn't remember the rest
Of what I was going say.

I felt a sigh come over
Like a knife in my back
I stuck it out for two more weeks
and then spun out of control.

Oh what a little devil she was!

Her ice eyes set my soul afire
Completely, like a liar
Formed from a chimera
In your self made heaven.

Like soldiers in a row,
Sold like ducks on a pond.

A sly gesture at what would be all mine
In the sure ticking time to come.

So we trace the reflection in the mirror
In hopes to construct a better view
Of the person that we hope to be
But every attempt I make
Draws out a picture of you.

The monster that you are to me.

Your eyes end up looking like
The midnight skies
On the beach where you and I
Made a vow to never leave each other
As long as we both were breathing

Now we are both screaming
And taking back everything
Just like a last breath taken
Without any meaning.
This has become
Something that is not worth seeing
Anymore

So I took the mirror down
With a quick hand
And a solid mind
To craft a new reflection
Out of the warped pieces of mine

And I stand in the hall alone
Looking towards the end of time
And wonder where I am going

And you are gone
And your mouth turns into the sun
As I say my last goodbye
To these starry night skies
Where we held each other tight
And made agreements with our
Lips and tongue

To say,
Goodnight twenty three.
Goodbye blue skies,
You never even knew me.

I know you that way
and only the same
As the devil knows me

I know that you can see
This thing you call a smile
It isn't real
It is a picture perfect portrait
That you painted
For yourself
To remember
The good ol' days.

Do the nights still
Pass along like
The string of bad thoughts
That are strung out in
This poem
Out on one
Of the last pages
That you will never read

My brain fell out and
Stained the page that
I tried so hard to keep
Clean of the pain and sin
Of my bleeding and rough hands
But that is impossible
For my cracked hands
Have clawed my smashed brain
Clean of the good things
That were once upon the black screen.

I'm losing my youth
My sanity is loose
It's been years and years
Of girls, drugs and *****
Living fast, shoeless
***** feet take me
Up and down the beach
To the hill where there will be
Love all around.

Today
You have made a grave man dance
A glance around the room
And they're all dancing too

Drowning in the bass
Shapes arise all around
Its the placement of plates
And you can see right through me

Its a question of science and biology
Science in biology and the anatomy
Of our dancing feet
Our trembling hands
Pull shades down
Over all that the eyes have done

What have I done
To make a question seem like another
One or two three games to play
Another day to see their dancing feet

All the things that we should feel
Everything, everything, everything
Is a circle
Its a guess around game
We just mess around and
Fall into reverse
And then

Go back to the start
Play it again for me
Steal it now
Its dark outside tonight

Darker than your heart and soul
I swear on my heart and soul

Oh no, ohh ohhh no. . .
Oh no. . .

I have welcomed you back, my love
Welcome back to hell.

I issued a fair warning to the call-man
On the watchtower, I told him
          “Would you believe this if I told you?”
          “You tell him that I am coming for him!”
          “. . . and there will be more than hell to pay. . .”

More than I could have ever dreamed. . .
His blood is my blood
&
My blood is his.
I will drown in it one day.

He walks slowly into the center of my vision.
I smell a false sense of fear,
Was it I or him that reeked of this
Blurred illusion of what we both shook from?
I heard a child’s laughter in the fog (again)
Was it I or him that brought this
Old demon back in?
I saw a trembling hand raise
As the fire blazed in and out
A knife became shape (again)
Was it I or him that first reckoned this
Evil deed of sin?
I felt the blade slide in (again)
Was it I or him that took this
Task, this burden, this dream
And crafted it into our own ****** up reality
The blood was thick on the ground
I taste that old familiar taste
That ironic, irony, iron taste . . . old blood
But again, was it I or him that began
To sink not swim into this
River of blood?

My throat is fully coated in iron
(Steal diamonds and gold)
From that nightmare/dream
And I lie here in my bed and think back
To “where the **** is my coat?’

You seem curious. . .
Are you going to go there?
Backwards and forwards
Look at the message upside down
Does that make better sense?
Let me tell you about it?

The descriptive details of a red balloon
A consuming feeling of shiny latex
The words are all mixed up in your mind
Or in front of you, the mirror speaks

“. . .a human is a human is a human is a human is a human”

Did you forget your proposed, composed speech?
Keep you composure, turn our backs on yesterday
Forgive me when I speak; aloud

Forget me please
Allow me to drift off to sleep; on a cloud
                                                           ­      and die
For this once now, I can’t explain why
my words don’t make sense
For now I have become so aroused
with the idea or innocence of not knowing how
I write these mistakes out on this ******* page
that should be taking in other notes that might help me pass.

But I’m passing out on a passing star
So make your last wish on my crashing car.

We'll see who makes it very far. . .

I have studied your ways
For many days now
Every move so patient
You are not like me
I am not
Calm like you are
Except when
That breeze runs through
My mind and
Then moves to your eyes
and then it likes to move
Around the other ways;
Around them,
To find
You there
I'm not there,
But you say to
Be there
So I will be. . .

You never seem to change
Like I do
Or like my mind
I should say

I see this in you. . .

&

I try and understand
The feelings that arise
Like a fire in your
Holy Wilderness.
Naked in
Times of confusion

I love confusion
I hate confusion

Its where I felt you first
and where you first
Saw my unholy wildness.
Naked in
The fire that once
Consumed the feelings
In my life

&

You could see that!

But,
I couldn't see through
The blaze
The purple haze
The strange days
That they too had
Already seen

But I think that you had
Already seen me
Coming
Going
Spiraling into my violent
Rage

So you took the time
To study me and
Seek me out
Instead of the other way
Around

You excepted my
Screaming and shouting
The twisting and turning
That I have so doubted

You are the one

&

I think I like this. . .

I don't know what
I am looking for. . .

But I found you
and you solved
that problem.

I wonder about the true shape of her body
The curves and swoops of it
Curves and then swoops around mine
And it makes me wonder about
The true shape of her body

Mouth open wide with
The eyes right behind
Mine and you’re
Behind my eyes
With a mouth wide open

Clothes pinned up and back
Out of the way
Night falls and I repeat myself
And turn myself back inside out

I love the feeling
Of your sunset on my ocean bay

The orange hands of your rays
Enter the bluish green spans
Of my salty waves
And then leads me back
Into the gentle night
When we took our last breaths

When I saw your eyes
It was like I had greeted death
With this fake smile
That I’ve always shown
Its haunting breath
Freezing me so
The cold hallway
Behind this door
Closed and dark now
Where I am and where I am going
I will never know

I wish I had never seen the sign
I wouldn’t have followed
I wouldn’t have gone so far

When I lost your eyes
It was if I had lost my shine
I can never smile
I am forever haunted
I’ve been thrown from the light

Please do just one thing for me, my dear
Don’t ever let me know
Don’t ever tell me how you feel
Please don’t come back to my face
Trying to scream out and repeat my name
Never again will you speak my name
I will never forget your face

Forget everything you loved
Because now I’ve remembered
Everything I hate

I hate everything I hate

I’ve been around and back
I’ve been dead and alive
I’ve been drenched in black
I’ve been stripped of my life

I’ve been hating
I’ve been waiting
I’ve been nothing

I’ve been. . .

I could always do this
it’s my life
under these brilliant stars
That chose my eyes tonight

Burning all the time
The fire is never ending
Suppose that you came
What would I feel inside
Like ticking time away
Sticking near your fine line baby
Stay down and watch it bloom

Do you hear that?
It's an echo of your life
telling you to stay the night
                       stay the night
in this wild wonderland of wicked women
you’re the only one
they've picked you again guy.

Love the strange screams in the dark unknown trees.
Love the repetition of the plague of crazy dreams.

Do you like the life on fire?

I would rather eat every grain of sand
Off of every white sand - black sand beach
For a thousand - two thousand lifetimes
Than be anywhere near you or them
and to attempt and cough out every reason
Why I must do this and leave again.

There is not enough fire
On this God forsaken earth
That could come close to that
Inside of my heart and
My eyes will never close
Or come close to your mouth
As long as there is water
In the salty seas and as long as
That blackwater flows
Through the old oak trees. . .

I will never be inside of you again.

There won't ever be an end
As long as you keep adding more
And more pieces to the conclusion.

The story is over,
It's time to go to sleep.

We band together:
Like savages
When the rain falls
And when the blood
Of our brothers is spilt out
Do not go there.
No! Do not say. . .

The sunny side
Is somewhere near.
While you think about it,
Another brother is murdered
In cold blood
By your gov'ment.

Just then, in mid-air,
The sirens call out my name
As my eyes pull out
From a sense of sin
The shame in moving on.
Pushing past the common folk
With a naked eye
On the stone before him.
Plummeting towards the end
Of the blind track,
On the bare-back
Of a Herens steer.

Wild as hell!
Ain't it?
Yet, when it stops
A sunny day
Will go away like a
Train-wreck through
The white house.

Oil spills down and black eyes
Are farther out than a barn fire.
There was blood
On the tracks, on our backs.

Now stop yourself
And say it again
Just once more now. . .

"O death,
  Won't you spare me over
   For another year."

I feel like...
Uhh I feel like an unknown...
An unknown soldier
A beautiful monster
A complete disaster
Resentful of the shades of grey from my father
I fall farther
Farther away from the sun
or a son that was one
One more brighter than the sun
Alright I'll admit I didn't do much to change it from being like this with him.

I guess I could have tried and been more like the passing wind,
or the falling stars that appear for a show and then disappear back into the dark
only to be wished upon again.

Last one,
Remember the times that were spent in the woods behind our house
The closer I get to you the more I feel alive again
I wonder if it will reach your mind somehow.
Somehow, somehow I figure I must have fallen out
I fell out

I don't know the whispering answer for the unknown question from the bleeding woods
that stain my heart and tattoo my arms with all the memories and mementos
that bring me back there again with you
in the dark morning...

I'll never remember your lines again
They are unknown to me now.

Dark clouds hover over this dark house on the hill
Thoughts shroud around loosely in the curving winds
Hiding my heart from the beings that live inside them
Heartfelt messages left on a broken hallway table
A broken hearted man scrapes away down the sidewalks of doom
As the narrow marrow craving beasts file away slowly at his bones
And the women sit back and laugh about the sad sight of it all
So long Mr. Lonely Soul…

You’re now a lost soul that won’t leave my house
The screams that I hear in the night are yours, I know
I’d love to help you in your walk through my mind
But I just can’t ever seem to wake up in time
To save you from dreaming about me
Under your bed, I'll be in your head
Smoking with the skeletons in your closet
That you thought you hid so well.

I can tell you a simple story to ease the pain of the night
You can dream a sweet dream only to awake and find that it was never there
It is only the little things that you see during your lie, not life
The lives stretch through these seemingly pretty faces
And allow you to see into my mind
Scary thing, huh?

Simple words to these lyrics that will never be a song
I don’t want you to move on without knowing that I don’t care
Remember these eyes that will curse the very day
That I arrive face to face with the devil that you love
When I get to where I am going there will be no mind to mind
No time to find a real meaning behind the false meaning of life

No hurried, worried thoughts of mine

Upside down life

Get some ******* sleep tonight.

I know that this mind
This wicked and ****** up mind
Will sink farther than yours
Under the waves of the graves
That has been opened up before me
and your once perfect thoughts
If there is even such a thing
I’m sure you thought that
Wear the skin of the corpses
That have followed you downtown
Into the ****** streets of that town
Into the ****** streets of Saint Augustine
or Saint Petersburg or Gainesville, Florida
I wonder which one I’ll burn away first
In the ******* emptiness of my heart
Thank you, for beginning the start of my madness
Oh well, I’m not sure if it was you that pushed it off
I think it was the sick sadness of world that has turned me on
The rush I get when I write these words
The worse words that connect and form verses
That will infect the simplest things that once were the simplest things
Before us, but are now just lies and memories
Dead men tell no tales.

So let the world continue without ever believing that we were real
Keep on telling yourself that the past should stay dead
Because it will, unless you **** me…

And I swear I’ll haunt you.
Infinity.

The continuous **** of the vacuum cleaner's hose that ***** the filth from your floor.
Cleaning the dirt out of the eye of some cabinet followers.
Stabbing swallowing swallower's out of the nasty bile that smells of walking dead feet for miles.
At last the solemn, stolen watchman wonders the truth of the moment.
The collapse of the structure, the business, the final straw.
The word of the liars mean nothing at all.
All the while we wander about the outer borders of their eyes that ponder unsaid complaints.
**** everyone else.
We are one together.
At last we are one together, at last.

Why should they even try?
We can't be deformed or bent out of shape or form.
Lies they tell you! Lies about the air and work place that swallows.
Standing for hours will hurt your shoulders and boulders fall around when you're down.

You love the slightest bit of happiness that I love about you and happiness surrounds you
everyday completely today about your very lovely being.
I love you.
When we marry the sky we will be soul spirits and sighs of the lights above our eyes
complete the paintings that skies can give to us.

And at last,
We see that there is nothing that will last without us together.
We must be forever and we can be forever.

Let's do it!
Why don't we do it on the isle of the rasta.
Be happy forever.
Let me be yours forever.
Alright.

And suddenly. . . I was there!!!

Amazed by what I saw
The truth lies in the middle
On the road for six years
And honestly I don’t care
If I ever make it back alive.

The small stones in the road
Represent the fragments of my skull
That I left in many different
Black holes across this wicked
Universe and in this second verse.

I love when the rain falls
I feel you
I love the smell that is left
When you stay the night
I feel your fingers slide
Softly
          d
          o
          w
          n
­            
          d
          o
          w
          n
­       my back
and my head
Cannot grip this memory and keep it
Together for you
Long enough
To shake me out of the crossfire
And back into that sparrow’s nest
Of hair that I call my home, you know
Girl, you need to know what’s going on
On the other-side
Your life is going nowhere down there
Midtown is not downtown
It is the final circle of hell
And you are just getting started
I’m getting all backwards and forwards
Is ****** for good stories

Take a step, take a breath back
In and out, out and in
A little love, loves a little sin

I want you
I want you too
I want you to remember

**This

I am open now
The panic ran all around me
But I still remained calm
With the thought of a hint
That I should have questioned sooner

There are too many things to blurt out
In hopes of making you smile

In stripes of golden feathers
I must not let the black ones in
Their legs shaking me off
Every which way and that
****** me off
Snuffed me out

I pulled away from you
Just to see what you could do
Alone in the same way that
You put me there
With all the love still fresh off the bone

Bring all of my fans and their bottles
You will need my blood remember?

You shouldn't have asked
With the last few remaining breaths
That lay curdled up on my chest
The greatest fear had left me
I am closed now

This is just
The way of the world.

The question is
This seemingly unknown

Shadow |
             | against the wall
             |

A white cat
     and her blackenedface
Met once more
          for last sniffs
      To pass on alone.
                                    .
                    ­        Under
Lightning bolts -       .
                            Ground
                        ­            .
Shredded to pieces;
I saw them
                    briefly
and I coughed
    Once or twice
But it still wasn't right.
      
        This isn't a
Side         -         show
        It's            the
            last hole

To leave your shame in.

The soul departed
and m   ix e   d    in
With the earth's beautiful
colours. So fascinating the
        s m   e  l l.

Hell is no place
To speakthink about.
It exists only
For those who need it
To. . .

Dried minds are always welcome

and for that I say,
"Well done."

I'll just stay here and float
Down
                     -
                                 stream

With the other loving
Multi-coloured souls.

I'm all wrapped up yet;
Somewhat deflated
In this violent accordion like
Room with that old red chair
In the left side of my sight

I am a bow, slowly eating snow
Flakes, down the strings of this
Broken fiddle in the middle of
My shaken and scarred,
Shattered yet calm hand.

Beyond my lucky star
Lies the remains of the reasons
From out of this empty bottle
The words that I need to write
Are the answers to my mental problems

But I answer to no one
No I do not!
I follow my own toes
and I knows that my nose
Knows that smell, the smell

Of her blood.
The veins extrude and
Fiercely scream out
Of her soft neck
and little thighs

There is no more
Apple juice
That's okay I like
Lemonade
Anyways,

A little cut in my eye
Bleeds out sour blood,
it's an interesting thing

To save some middle time
I will skip around a little more
In this giant sun of a life
I'll find my body song
One day seven

She can get into my lightning
and see life. . . AH!
So much more
It's like heaven trapped in a bell jar

Drink it up and have a look around your confusing world

Need I say more?
I like you
But only a little bit

Can you show me anymore
Than this?

I have to leave now. . .

They are on their way back
To rip away the last bit
The last remaining flesh
Around the muscle around
The veins entwined in them

Chaos turns every which way
Under and around the bones
That I’ve broken for time to find
The most important treasure
Inside my chest, behind the curtains
Of hollow homes

Every mother must scream out
In the vile veil of the dark night
As the father slips away and
Pleases his own delight

Curses, curses, curses!

I hate the eyes in my head
They see and seal the images
Burnt out and carried in
Ships now shipwrecked in
The most peaceful place in my mind

I tried to fight it down
But the ocean just wouldn’t swallow
The irreplaceable hole in my heart

Is this how life will always be?
With only but two pages left
To complete the message to you
Make that one set in

Does this mean that I am
Only one page from death?

****,
I wonder where
My eyes will be

When you come crashing through that door

Just one last time.

When
                                                         ­                                                               wi­ll                                      *I

                ­                            




                                ­                      find

                               ­                                                         the­ true




                                                        ­                              meaning


of
       my
                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                       









                ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­             *life.?

Follow me down to the water
Fill your heart with hate
Throw down everything you love
Never forget this day

It’s the one that came to be known
As the darkest one of them all
The worried and sick will be the first to go
All of the materialistic objects will be next to fall
All of your weapons and strong hands
Cannot stop what is coming to us all
To all the ones who have claimed to have known this
You will finally get what’s coming to you
To the ones that never gave a care
I’ll be sure and meet you there soon
Standing on a beach on the east coast
We stand waiting together for a sign of the lost hope

Mother Nature, take back what’s yours
Leave the ones who ****** you to burn, burn
Burn away all of the time that was bought
Let the money drift away in the ashes
From the hands of the Father

The last ghost to come home
You will be forever lost now
It’s time to move on

Will you follow me down?
When did you lose your love?
Did you save up all the hate?
To deliver it to the one above. . .

You have seen this coming.
Have you seen Him?

I awoke in a rush
About ten hours, no;
Ten minutes ago.
Sometime around ten.
Anyways, the point is...
Forget about the point.

I awoke in a rush
This morning,
From what I believed,
Was the sound of her
Breathing. But as I came
To, it was just that old
Ceiling fan creaking
It's nightly love song
To me.

I pull myself out of bed
And into the floor.
The shades bring a certain
Shade that I don't like
Anymore. Oh, **** me!

I slink out to the shed
And begin to burn, burn
Burn away everything,
Anyone care to come and try me?
I'll change your mind.

Strange feelings begin to arise
On this maybe-just-me morning.
There, sixteen or seventeen different
Varieties of happy and ****
Send out all the words
Of my daily love song
To you.

I̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶h̶e̶l̶p̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶
T̶r̶y̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶d̶i̶e̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶r̶y̶ ̶n̶i̶g̶h̶t̶.̶
I̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶j̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶n̶a̶t̶u̶r̶e̶.̶
I̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶s̶l̶e̶e̶p̶ ̶b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶
I̶'̶m̶ ̶c̶o̶n̶s̶t̶a̶n̶t̶l̶y̶ ̶*******̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶
F̶i̶g̶h̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶b̶a̶c̶k̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶e̶m̶p̶t̶y̶
H̶o̶l̶l̶o̶w̶ ̶f̶e̶e̶l̶i̶n̶g̶s̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶p̶a̶s̶t̶

So, I resort back to nature.

I shouldn't have even said this much,
I'll be on my way now.

One week
One week until I can release
All of my demons
All of the ones that eat away at me
At my heart and in my mind
I've come to terms with the fact
That I am completely insane
With that, most would decline.
But I know it. . .

How can I live everyday?
Wanting to leave
Silently listening to nothing
With those evil ******* begging me to give in
Just let us take control
Let me take everything
But I'm not ready yet. . .

What if I don’t wanna go?

I can't bear it anymore
Their scratching voices echo
Through my body and in my soul
Poisoning every step
I’m slowly letting go
I’ve called to you God
Why is everything so . . .

****** up, you are
You are ****** up
& this I know
Please tell me something different lover
& maybe I’ll let go.
But not yet
& this I know . . .

I am living here with
New ghosts and old regrets;
My voice was once solid gold.
But after years of abuse,
It’s faded from green to black in the smoke.

The full moon tonight will glow.

The cold blood from my veins
Will drain ever so slow.
Empty out my heart;
Let my mind go.
Throw my body in the river,
The only place I've ever loved.

Welcome in this horrible night
My favorite one of all
It lets in all of my demons
Into that long and crawling hall
That stretches across my life
They are tearing down the doors
All I have is seven lives.

Let it go Andy!
The heart will bleed.
All of your love is gone,
Why won't you let it be?


This is the most haunted day of my life,
I can tell you this for sure . . .
I hope that you will never meet me.
You will slowly drown too,
In my life of horror.

*“Tecum vivere amem, tecum obeam libens“

There once were things to talk about.

On a Sunday.
One gave a feather
The other gave a finger.

Give it for nothing.
(Smile for the camera!)

Loving a God like
Thing; is it real?
Is God a friend,
Or a burning bush?
Like the end I've split
I forgot how to end it. . .
That's my luck.

Oh, I gave you a chance
And you said, "God, not again."

But, you know I can't dance
Well enough, on to the next one!

But where are you now?
I question.

There has been
*One too many. . .

You thought you knew me
                                                     But you didn't think right this time
                                                I was all you ever wanted
                                           But I'm not at all right this time
                                      My words have been twisted
                                 My lines burned into lies
                             I should have guessed it
                          I'm just a ******* fly
                      On her narrow chest
                   Her breath, oh yes it was haunting
               My chest oh **** it, i'm lying
           Again, again, again
      This is my life
  This is how I am
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Can you get stuck somewhere else
      Will I ever die, alone like the rest
           Like the others, the ones I've ****** so bad

Oh good for me!
Good for you, so good for my death
Live for the worst, long for the best

                                                           ­                                                                 ­                    Can't reach it yet

I avoid your crowd
You **** me dry

A slippery *****
A fake hill
A plastic baseball bat

                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                 I'm a liar

You're nothing to me
I'm a flickering flame
Your last call to a dying name

No friend to call
No name to scratch on the wall

                                                           ­ If I could just feel the skin
                                                            ­The sun and the breeze
                                                          ­  The last words you'll ever send
       To me opening my chest again

                                       I can't repeat another word

      -The speech has left me;
               my face has met the curb-


Bloodstain
Good thing. . .


                                                             ­                                       I                         G
                                                               ­                                       Left                
                                                                ­                                          You
                   ­                                                                 ­                I                         O
                                                               ­                                       Told
                                                           ­                                               You
              ­                                                                 ­                     I                         O
                                                               ­                                       Was
                      ­                                                                 ­                   No
                                                                ­                                                              D

I pull myself
Out of
The
Inside
of the light.

Have I gone too far?
I know I missed the curve
miles ago. . .

But how far have I gone?
The question with an answer
that has no meaning.

Was the question even worth asking?
Every ending must have a beginning,
but every ending must never start over again.

How have I become this man?
From a quarter century's worth
of a lifetime time lived in colorful
exasperations.

There isn't anymore questions
that I can ask myself with this solid lividity in my face.
All I know is that nothing is the same.

Each day just gets more and more strange.
It fills me up with this central gasp
Of the nostalgic grasp of yesteryear.

I've needed this flow
This current illusion of pain
I've watched it all go down
I've felt it all change.

I know what tomorrow will bring
The same thing but with a little more sting.

This morning,*

I confused a moving car
For a running fox squirrel
This is a problem to me. . .
This ****** city is bleeding its
***** blood over my eyes and its
Making me anxious to take that first step up
Up the rain soaked stairs to that quiet home
Upstairs on the dead floor

Not another living soul but me

In this clearing mo(u)rning
The trees still cry out
From over a thousand acres of land
“God’s good earth is leaving!”
I am leaving then!

I’ve said it before*

I’ll push the start early
Just to see it end and crash
Before I can ever get out alive

Watch me bleed over this
This abandoned concrete wall
All over these hollow ******* halls
These imposing empty skyscrapers that pierce
Her skies and my eyes still see you

I will call you out
This will be my final move
Never again will I be back
I will never return to you

The ferocity of my wrath on this feral city
Will start again after the next one hundred days.

Colossal.
Describing a feeling
Like shore breaks out off of the coast
Almost the time
Almost the time to leave
I left the town behind
Came down alright
Unkind, no words spoken to begin the feeling of annoyance in that ****** city.

This city of beauty and lives
opened up to the smallest things that open up to the smallest things.
And bring daylight to you and I
Sing all night and true words will always be spoken, aloud.
My love for you cannot and will not be broken,
We howl, at the blood red moon.

So say not the worries that are of tomorrows hurried state
Close down the bar to bring me back to the farthest reaches of your outer space
Out of space and the ability to trace us back to the furthest place of their worried minds.
Foolish fools pulling tools out of the mathematical realm.
Smell the soft air. Reach them sometime later out there.
Outside of the other side.

So long old burning town.
See the change that you never brought to me unsound.
Or taught to me from the beginning you see?

What's that beyond the distance
A disturbance along the disturbances
Among the turbulence in my mind
Beside your beauty in the mine
Of my heart and soul shining so bright.
No dark or fright.
My might beside your light, your sun, I can't get enough!
I can't breathe enough, for you.

My god, my angel, my friend.
My love, my beginning, my end.

The end with you! Aloud
So loud is my speech about
My journey to the end with you.
So loud!
I'm proud and complete with you.
And now...

My love: my being.
See what I'm seeing.

Breathe to be living.
Sing to be given my gift.
Aloud.

I wish I could see myself the way that you do.

Fingers stuck together
Eyes are shut too.
Emptiness and happiness
Are in between the pages
That haven't spoken to you
Yet, all I want is to see the sky.

I want to lie to you again
The feeling is like a bullet in the brain
But I love it.
To just know that something else is in the way
Of our only way out of this place.
Did you know the person that spoke at me behind my back?
Or the ******* that emptied out your heart.
And spilled your guts on the white blank page
Broken in from years of ****** hearts touching it.
The book of your death
and my re-birth.

Of course I've opened it,
It took my breath
Away. . .

And shook the light out of me
But brought me back to earth
To spread this darkness that I have so rightfully earned.

Bring me out of it,
Away from here
In the space between
Your cloudy eyes
and my hollow heart.
The place where I can begin again
and push restart.

Danger - Dead man talking
Keep away, *keep away.

The strangeness arises. . .

I feel your young hand creep up
My old spine, as it crumbles
Apart into four pieces
Knives turn into forks
Like lives burnt into the north star
The big dipper pulls out
And back and forth
Into our only sight and you say

"The sky swims away with the day
and the clouds will all drift away. . ."

Soon enough they will,
When we meet again on those ****** city
streets. . .

Can you believe it?
As a star is made to rule them all!
Collisions make memories
Into classes I'll fail. . .

I'll fall down around you,
Like the comets do
And I will most certainly see it
Happen and I'll just happen to be
downtown where you are not
With me. . .

Alone
           &
Alive for sure!

Until we collide on the shore
I'll be waiting for. . .

We softly spoke
                              after the fact;
        The reasons
Were *limited.

Subtle and smooth
Kind with youth
and a sort of shifting
Truth; a constant variable

They always enchant me so - my soul
They always draw my eyeballs a perfect
picture, a painting of The End.

Though,
I am still not satisfied with it
It only flourishes with wisdom

The philosophy a fire

The lessons learned from
The cloaked figures

Approaching and speaking

Only a change in the mind
       could take them away

I must have lived a great life then
I must have conquered and scattered
My remains and the remains of it
Across time and into this life
For me to have all of these memories
And mistakes and memories of mistakes

From lives that seem already lived
Once before this

Speak up shortly and then
Toss my body in a shallow grave

Don’t hang on
For God has told me
That I’m wrong
So therefore, I will go out
With nothing but this poem

To(o)
Lead them home.

I stumble in the path that leads
To all of the wrong roads chosen
Maybe I should wake up from this dream
And worry about my heart that has been broken
I can’t remember what it is to be content with life
Or the light that once shown
In my black eyes
I remember a feeling that was once a flame
It consumed the very being of my better side
Now all I can feel is the dark side
From these dark eyes that seek to know the truth
Or struggle to find you
They fell short under the wing that shades
That fed me waves when I needed calm seas
I can feel the deadweight
The boat is drifting away
Out past the reaches of my aching limbs
I may drown if I don’t remember
The way that you moved me
Pushing out from the hollow hole in my hollow chest
Peaking out through these hollow lenses that think they know best
Or the empty eyes that look over my body as it waits
Burning skies seek to warm the wicked and sick
The wretched and weak will **** for a sense of love
Look at the eyes of the worried and stuck
They wonder about the name of this beautiful thing
Unknown member of the underworld
They call me out from the other side of the stained glass
I’ve been cast out from the badlands
Does that make you love me anymore?
Or will I begin to hate the very thing that makes me, me
Her heart that ate me in the light of the stage
My heart won’t fail me
It will rise again

What
          are we,

                       but
            dead
   and dying leaves.

                                                       Swimming back -
                                                       Yearning for the warmth again.
            Second year without the
                                                  Spring(s)
                                                                ­  In my heart.

Sister's turning. . .
T̶w̶e̶n̶t̶y̶,
More years ahead
Than
Behind; our bent hands

                                         Can write. . .
                                               Or scratch The
                                                                ­          tiniest .holes.
                                                         ­                 In our minds.
                            While m̶i̶s̶s̶i̶n̶g̶ a̶t̶o̶m̶s̶                                                 
     ­                                                             and stolen organs are
                                                                ­         Attempting to find that
                                                            ­             One perfect meaning
                                    That seems to be
                                                              ­           Right there.
                                                       ­                                           Off of the east coast,
                                                          ­   You know?
         Right out of reach.
                                   Beyond your misunderstanding and
                                        Way past the point of freezing.

But there is never
                        Any                                   turning                                      back.

We still   h
                   a
                     n
                        g
             On    by
                   a
             t
           w
           i
         g.

  Our last seed
Is                          out there,
      somewhere.

             You haven't lost it. . .
                                                   But,
The message is not what it means.

                                             I guess
                                                  That, that
                                                            ­is why

                                                            ­                                            We are
                                                             ­                                                        The dead
                                                          ­               and dying leaves.