thingshavebeenroughlately
imnotbeingtakenseriouslyanditsgettingto­me
ireallylikethisgirlandshethinkstheoppisite
ilikehercauseshesre­al
ineedsomethingreal
somethingtomakemefeelrealfeelings
thispoetr­yiwritesux
andidontknowwhatimdoing
justlikeeverythingelse
imconfu­sed
imconfusedaboutmyselfpersonally
idontknowwhatilikeanymore
ido­ntfindthigsfunanymore
igoaroundtouchingpeopledearly
butidontfeela­thing

peoplethinkimjokingwhenisayidontfeelmanyemotions
buttheyll­seethetruth
oncesomethinghappens
somethingbig
theyllstarewithemot­ion
andilllookwithanapheticnature

imindifferent
andifnotthatdepr­essed
istruggletofindthewordstodescribehowdepressedireallyfeel
su­reyoucandoubtitbutimunhappy
thatstheonlythingicanginuallysayifeel­
depressed

nothingsreallychanged
myemotionschangewiththemooncycles
eventhoug­htheydontstrayfarfromnnegative
anewbitteremotionsurprisesme
withe­achsuddenmoodswing
thingsjustseemtogetworseandworse
ivestuckmysel­finaperpetuallyneverendingloop
ofnothingbutselfdestruction
things­arentgettingbetter
andivecometotermswithit
sotillitends
illjustsi­tbackandexpecttheworse

gettingleadonlikeahorse
butitsokaybecauseitssomethingimusedto
ire­frainfromcominghomealone
becausewhenthatdoorclosesthedarkdwelling­chamberbecomesachamberofdwelling
itseemslikemostdaysidratherselfl­oaththanbewiththepeoplewhocare
itslatejunenow
ivewastedmytimeyeta­gainonagirl
imquestioningwhetheriwanteasyworthlessgratificationor­alongtermcompanion
buteitherwayithinkitllendupthesame