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We have created a time
where our air smiles
like a precious gem
found within a storm.  
Each spoken sentence
we find to be filled
with purpose,.....
sound and warm.

Regret does not glisten
nor is it placed in this time
dressed up as hurt
impossible to understand.  
This is a place
where one can find
the staircase of stillness,
silence at hand.

Showers of love
fall as stars in this time
along the places where we sail
on a subtle breeze.  
We can see their reflections
turned inside out......
like a smile
Copyright © 2013 Neva Flores - Changefulstorm
She was taught from a young age that beauty was having pale skin and a bright smile,
But she wasn’t trained to see that beauty itself was somewhere in the writings of a fragile, broken heart.
She was raised in a society where thin bodies were attractive and big bodies were a disgrace
As if it was worse than the crime against  Jews, homosexuals, and the colors of race combined.
Belief that beauty was only found in painted faces with blinding teeth was planted in her brain at such a young age that she forgot how she looked in the mirror because she was too afraid to see her own smile.
She forgot to brush her teeth in the mornings because she was too afraid to ask her mommy, “Mommy, am I as pretty as the ******* the magazine?”
She’s too afraid to hear her mother’s reaction, or her siblings’ reaction, hell, even her father’s reaction.
“No, you’re not as pretty as her,”
That’s what they would say,
But she left before they could finish their sentence:
“No, you’re not as pretty as her. Pretty is an understatement. You’re pretty **** amazing, pretty **** talented, and pretty **** gorgeous, but you sure as hell ain’t just pretty. You’re not beautiful like the distorted girls in television screens, and you’re not beautiful like the chicks on those photoshopped magazines. No, you’re beautiful because you don’t ever see it. You’re beautiful because you hide in the flaws we all grew up in. You’re beautiful because you write your heart out on paper, and you’re beautiful because you give a little piece of your heart out to every person you see. No, you’re not as pretty as those prostitutes like to think they are. No, you’re pretty because you have good judgment and know when to give your heart out to strangers. You’re beautiful because you leave an impact in everyone’s lives, whether it’s good or not, intentional or not. You’re beautiful because you say you aren’t and you believe you aren’t, but you’re pretty **** beautiful for telling everyone that they are instead of saving some of the compliments for yourself. So, no, you will never be as pretty as they are because that’s what they will only stay as - pretty.”
Pretty in photoshoots and pretty in covers,
But they will never ever be as pretty as the girl with the heart too big for its confinements,
Heart too tiny for the world to see.
No, the world will never ever be as pretty as her,
But someday the clouds will drift away,
And the rays of sunshine will come out,
And it will shine on her,
And it will show her that beauty and pretty aren’t just the superficial things she was taught from day one.
Beauty is someone who will leave a mark on this soil,
And she will never look back to see it.
Beauty is someone afraid to believe in everything her parents told her to stay away from.
She doesn’t believe in love because love is too powerful,
And love is too kind, and love is beautiful,
But beauty is something her parents told her not to believe in either,
Because beauty’s an illusion and no one sees the obvious even if it’s right in front of them -
It will be blurred by smoke and ***** and the images that come from drugs.
She was taught to hide beauty or it will hurt you because society doesn’t know how to appreciate it.
They don’t know how to love and find beauty in everything around them,
They all just ignore the girl with the tear tracks on her cheeks and a broken smile and a note on her back that says,
“Beautiful”
pretty, self-image, thoughts, beauty, beautiful
Fuming
Hot heat
Pulsing
Veins throbbing
Beating
Heart pounding
Rushing
Brain waving
Thriving
Body moving
Dilating
Eyes twitching
Who's to say
Who's to try
Here I am still wondering why
Why am I here?
What am I thinking?
What am I proving?
What am I seeking?
Purpose diminished
Eyes become shut
Brain is frozen
Life is not
I want to rip out my heart
So it can never feel you again
I want to **** out my brain
So thoughts of you are gone
I want to pluck out my eyes
So they won't ever gaze in yours
I want to cut off my arms
So they don't remember you inside them
I want to remove my legs
So they can never ever wrap around you
Till all that's left is a ****** rotten corpse
         Because if I have no feeling left,
          Ill never feel anything at all.
TNT
It's bad enough
When the one you ****
Is not the one you love
It's even worse
When you turn your face
Can't look into their eyes
You've got it bad
You've got the curse
He can probably feel your lies
Make him leave
If you please
There's the open door
So I guess I can
"Do it" again
But in your eyes
Is where I long to lye
But here I am
Alone again
With only regret
No heart in my chest
Cause only you can be
The thing that awakens me
Only you can put my heart back in
You are the only cure I see
 May 2013 Andres Nunez
Jada Tower
who am i?

i'm tired eyes and bed hair.
i'm coffee stains on the pages of my favorite books.
i'm dry humor in the morning when all i want to do is sleep.
i'm my favorite song lyrics blaring through the speakers on a long road trip.
i'm a stranger sitting on a park bench watching people live their lives
while all i do is sit and observe.
i'm all the places i've been to and explored on sunday mornings
leaving little bits  of me when i go.
i'm the tide splashing at my feet while i make pictures in the sand.
i'm a quote from my favorite movie that i've seen too many times to count.
i'm shorts and a tank top on a warm summer day
then boots and a coat on a cold winter night.
i'm a fishing pole in its stand on the bank of a murky lake.
i'm late nights out with friends
when i should really be at home in bed.
i'm the thrill of sneaking into somewhere you shouldn't be
and the terror of getting caught.
i'm goodnight kisses
and early morning hugs.

so who am i?
i am these fragments
pulled together, making me tick.
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