You know,
It sits there all the way above,
Looking down on us,
I wonder how lonely it feels.
Or how sad it must be,
To see so many people do so many bad things,
It must be entertained as well,
To watch heroic acts and..
Its probably always on the edge of its seat,
When someone is about to face death,
But someone else comes by and saves them.

I wonder if the sky feels lonely.
It just sits there,
It wears its stars throughout the night,
Can put on a brave sun throughout the day,
But when it can’t hold the sun anymore,
It has to let the grey come on by.
No one there to let out its feelings to,
So all it does is cry on the rain.

It must be very lonely,
To be the sky,
Up there so very high.
Not a soul to talk too.

In the middle of the bridge.
I want to give you something special,
I just hope you’ll give me something special as well..

I believe in the rule of Equivalence Exchange.  
In order for me to give this to you,
You have to give something that’s of equal value.
And I’ll only except if its real.
And if it’s the same value as what I gave you.

Have you ever wondered how far away it is from here to the moon?
Looking at that elegant thing
So high in the sky.
Have you ever stared at it and wondered, "Why am I so small?"

But of course,
You wouldn't have noticed.
Because I couldn't help but notice,
You were that moon.

You who so elegantly showed your presences to the sad little creatures of Earth,
You who so dared to only make the few of us turn into stars to surround your beautiful elegance.
But I couldn't help but notice,
I was not one of them.

I, the very one person who placed you onto the high pedestal
I, the only person who ever noticed how great you are,
How elegant you were.
I, the sole person who was sent into the corners of the Earth,
Awaiting for you to notice how loveless you made me
Awaiting for you to notice how free I want to be.
But I couldn't help but notice,
How nonexistent my existence is to you.

Because I am just those invisible lines you wished were gone,
I am just someone from the past who wishes to ******* falling stars,
In hopes that they will allow me to take their place,

Because I couldn't help but notice,
While you were out there hanging with your stars,
I was still down here awaiting to be where you are.
But you gave no care to how I feel,
So now I leave you with your stars
And in hopes you'd fine what you've always been searching for,
Hoping that you weren't searching for something that already has given up on you.

Do you know how far it is from here to the moon?
Its about the same distance that separates me from you.
And I hope that one day,
You couldn't help but notice
That, that sad little creature who's placed you so high up,
Won't be down there looking at you anymore,
That sad little creature who's been waiting to become a star,
Has already found a better place,
In someone's elegant heart.

What I fear isn’t hairy eight legged creatures crawling into my mouth at night
What I fear isn’t the whole “Something’s gonna come out of the dark and eat me,” while I’m trying to get a glass of water in the middle of the night.
Nor even when my father angrily yells at me
Because in all honesty he starts regurgitating spit from his mouth making it so hard to take him seriously when he’s drooling.

What I’m afraid of is…
            I’m afraid of tomorrow…
You see,
            Once upon a time
On a Saturday Night
I was so excited to finally finish writing my second chapter of my fan fiction
Talking to a few friends.
And relaxing from my stressful day of a Saturday.
Then suddenly a wild message about financial aid appears,
Now,
            This isn’t where my fears start coming to life
            This isn’t even where my thoughts were being provoked.
This was just a simple conversation about financial aid information.
You see,|
My friend knows little about financial aid and my friend asked about the information I know.
I thought, “Well I have limited knowledge on this…I’ll give my friend my best answers and hope it turns out alright.”
Well,
            Things didn’t turn out the way I had imagined it.
You see,
            This private conversation evolved into a group chat
And even the financial aid information conversation evolved into, “How are you
going to pay for your college expenses?”

You see,
            I don’t fear of creatures with eight legs,
            I don’t fear of monsters in the darkness
            I don’t even fear of my father’s angry tone!
I fear what tomorrow’s going to be
I fear that my future will only just be a dream.

It’s so hard to be focusing on where I’m going to be at next year when this year looks like the saddest thing on Earth.
It’s so hard to concentrate on tomorrow when today looks like a horrible nightmare.

Today,
            I’m stressed
I’m not stressed about my grades
            I know I work harder than the average student.
I’m not stressed about the guy I might like
            Because right now,
            A boyfriend is not what I be needing.

I’m stressed that I may not get a job
I’m stressed that my dad may lose his
I’m stressed that my mom can’t find another
I’m stressed that I won’t be able to pay for my ACT Ticket
I’m stressed that I won’t be able to afford my SAT Subject Ticket
I’m stressed that I won’t be able to pay for my college apps
And I’m stressed that I can’t get fee waver
Because according to the government my parents make too much for me to have
one
            When in reality
                        My family barely survives on a paycheck.
It’s getting harder and harder to survive on that paycheck
Because presently speaking
            It’s getting harder and harder to pay to keep on living.

And because I don’t have a job yet,
            My parents are still forced to pay for me to keep on living.
I’m stressed that I’m not going to have a tomorrow
I’m stressed that I’m not going to go to a college to pay college expenses for
I’m stressed that this fear is going to keep controlling my life!

But…
I can’t let that happen…
            I can’t let this fear run my life.
‘Cause sooner or later its going to run it down tot eh ground and I won’t be able to recover from that
I can’t let this fear consume me,
Because I’ll never find a way out.


I fear something…
I don’t fear eight hairy legged creatures crawling into my mouth at night,
I don’t fear monsters eating me alive while I’m trying to get something to drink.
Nor do I fear my dad yelling at me.
I fear of tomorrow.

I can’t focus on where I’m going to be at next year when today is all foggy with no sign of light.

Come With Me
And you’ll see,
            A world of pure imagination,

Can’t you see?
            This world of glee~?
Just come with me…*
  
Yet,
I wonder how I can go into a world of pure imagination without having one foot in the grave.
I wonder when I can taste the chocolate waterfall without having the salty after taste of a child’s sweat and tears.
Please Mr. ***** Wonka, please,
Tell me how I can visit your world of imagination without hitting that eternal slumber button

We all know how harsh reality can be,
Especially when we log onto Youtube and we see,
Blonde girl ranting on Asians in the Library
Or even when we turn on the tele,
We see a 3 year old just got molested in the Dollar Tree
Or even when you walk out your front door and see
Some humans beating up some other humans
Ya see its easier to live in a made up world where everyone is treated the same
Its easier to pretend that the lies are what’s true and ignore the rest.

Don’t you see what a bunch of lies can do to harm the truthful words?
I’m sorry Mr. ***** Wonka,
         But that whole world of pure imagination is unable for me to reach
            For the world of reality is what is holding me behind,
                        No matter how hard I try to escape its wrath.
And that chocolate waterfall you have is filled with the sweat and tears from children who were forced to make it
How can we walk on the world of pure imagination without killing ourselves in the process?
How can we turn this reality of ours into something that was made for dreaming?

And its funny when they say,
At the end of the rainbow~
                        There's a *** of gold~
But didn't you know the *** of gold is tainted with Humanity's Greed?
Why do you think humans look for a leprechaun?
    So they can fill their fat pockets with their precious gold
Why do you think Christian churches teach you about the 7 deadly sins?
   Its because that's what humans are.
We take what isn't ours in order to satisfy our Greed.
We Envy other's for the objects they have.
We Lust for the things that we are unable to obtain
We unleash our Wraith on our own kind!
We take too much Pride on hurting others,
We feed on the sorrow and blood in order to be Gluttonous
And we are too much of a Sloth to do anything about it.

    We too are living beings,
       Yet we are the only ones who "love" to cause harm to others.
We are the ones who can walk on two limbs and use the other two to cause destruction and mass mayhem!
We take what isn't ours and use it for our own profit,
Even worse,
We have the ***** to believe in a Jesus Christ that can come and save us
Right after we have taken out another life

We have the nerve to call ourselves human
We are the so called God's creation
Yet we put shame on him for the way we've been
We put shame on ourselves for blood lusting
When we protest against suicides and deaths
We put shame on ourselves for being greedy
When we protest against the government selling our children's future to save a petty penny
If we were to label most of Humanity's Population
It would be labeled Capitalist Humanity

And at this time, I'd like to write a letter
Dearest Capitalist Humanity,
I'd like to congratulate you on causing the most genocides Mother Nature has ever seen
I'd like to congratulate you for playing with monopolies
In order for you to grow your big companies
Causing the gap between the rich and the poor to get wider and wider

Thank you for killing off your own kin
And I'm not talking about people of the same ethnicity I am talking about people of the same HUMAN RACE

I am talking about the person you just killed yesterday because he was wearing a different color, because he was a different color from you because HE WAS DIFFERENT FROM YOU

Thank you for re-writing history to make it look like you were the hero when in fact you were the villain hiding behind the mask
Thank you for forcing children into the work labor
Thank you for taking what isn't yours
AND THANK YOU for destroying this once beautiful home Mother Nature has given to you

Dearest Humanity,
Thank you for everything.

Poetry is like a living being
It lives in a world that's created on lined paper
It breathes in the writers' imagination
And feeds on the words that is written.
Poetry is the vast oceans
Words swimming around
Forming sentences and rhymes

Poetry is like the meaning of life
Forever to be a myster
Until. . .
Some smarty pants
With no pure imagination
Slaughters it with logic
Dissecting the poem
JUST to fugure out its meaning
Leaving the poem LEFT FOR DEAD

Poetry is like the free birds in the sky
Til one day a greedy child
Traps it in a cage
Never to be let free
Till it learns how to sing~

I,
Am a teenaged girl
Lost between the deminsions of
Fantasy
And
Reality.
I am a Filipino and Mexican
Knowing no spanish
Lost in a language my mother has forgotten.

I am what it means to be a human being.
Trying my best to be there
Making zillions of mistakes that end up drowning me in the end.
Wanting to remember but always forgetting
Wanting to help but saying the wrong things at the wrong time.
Trying to find a place in the world
Only to end up being isolated like a lone wolf.

I am what it means to be a student,
Not loving the whole school system but trying her best to prove it wrong.
Educated by watching the world, day by day,
Philosophizing life
Analyzing the story lines that mean something
Surviving in a jungle we call High School
And day by day,
Struggling in classes just to pass it.
I am, what it means to be
not so smart, not stupid at all but
a hard worker, learning everything I can with the little time the school system provides.

So,
Who am I?
Well for starters,
To tell you who I am,
I'd have to spend the majoirty of my life writing a one hundred paged book,
With only one page that has one sentence of writing that says,
"Too much to say, ask me another day."

Who I am,
Is a teenaged-Filipina-Latina-video gaming-anime loving-poetry/story writing-girl
Who is always lost in her own world~