That night
That night
I found a  stranger...
That night
That night
I looked into a mirror.
I heard a voice
That sounded familiar
I heard a voice
That sounded strange.

One that surfaces on the outside
One that shells itself on the inside
One that is cynical
One tht is regretful
One that is Yin,
And one that is Yang.

That night,
That night,
I looked in a mirror.
That night
That night
I looked in mirror.
That night
That night
I lmet a stranger
I turned to my right and met,
A cynical child,
With a crooked smile
Her eyes were pitch black,
Her voice was of a demon's
Her soul was not present.
If I ever believed in a god,
She would be the devil's spawn.

When I turned to my left,
I met a coward,
Her face that always blushed
Her voice was always quiet
Her eyes were that of mine
Her soul was partially there.
If I ever believed in angels,
She would be the one that fell from the heavens.

That night,
That night...
I found my self,

A girl who didn't give a care in the world,
A girl who couldn't speak what was on her mind.
A girl with devilish horns,
A girl with breaken wings adn a fixed halo.

The two sides of me that I never wanted to see.
Yet, they were always there with me.
The two sides of me I wish that left my side
Yet, they are super glued to me for the rest of my life.

That night,
That night,
I met my past.
That night,
That night,
I met the demon.

That night,
That night,
I found my present self,
The one who held the past child and the demon child in one,
The one who endured all their complaints and torments,
The one who had those lonely conversations with the broken angel and the devil's spawn.
That morning...waking up to
Bright and shinning lights,
Birds singing happily,
The sky smiling on me,
The devil's spawn had kept its trap shut,
The broken angel fixed herself,
And the present me,
Was nothing but happy.

Surrounded by falling stars,
Walking on water in the dark~
This must be a fantasy
Starrs dropping from the sky doesn't happen too often
Walking on water just seems like something a god would do.
Is this real?
Or is this a dream?
Someone PLEASE pinch me.
I am,
Surrounded by falling stars
Walking on snow in the dark,
I was lying in my bed just a moment ago....
So, how did I end up somewhere so cold?
Only to see you in the glimpse of darkness,
Smiling a soft smile,
Wearing golden halo and fluffy wings,
Running up to me,
Holding me ever so tightly.
This is nothing more but a mere dream,
For you don't exist in this world of reality,
For you always existed in a world of make-believe
So, can we play make-believe?
And, make-believe you were real?
Because,
Someone like you doesn't exist in this life,
Someonelike you is hard to find,
So, can I just dream of you tonight?
Because you live in my fantasy,
Harsh reality threw you away,
Because this ****** up reality
Did not want to see me this happy,

So I awaited for the night to fall
Awaited for the moon to grace itself with its magnificent presence,
So I can at least dream of you,
Because you forever awaited underneath sakura trees,
That bloomed ever so darkly.
Finding you is just the cruel reality.
Because every time I look for thee,
I end up finding myself in a lost dark corner,
With no happiness nor glee.

I'm,
Surrounded by the brightness of my dreams,
Because I am only dreaming of you tonight,
Do not let me be awakened by frightful reality screams.
I don't ever want to wake up,
I am happy just leaving this fale world...
Where its is only just you and I...
For,
I am lost in a world of fantsasy,
Barely holding onto that tiny string of reality...
Falling into the world of illusions....
Wandering around in confusion.
All because
I wanted to dream of you,
All because...
I wanted to be with you.
I don't want to go back to the first stage of sleep,
Leave me be in the fourth stage of sleep,
Because all I want is this tiny bit of glee..
So please....
Just please allow me to be happy...
Yet,
No matter how much I wish to stay..
I am forced to leave this world of "happy"
I am forced to go and search for true happiness on my own...
I am thrown onto a star,
Wishing it would take me  to you..
In a place very far~
Yet,
Instead it took me into a familiar room...
I'm riding on the falling stars,
Falling into a sleeping child in the dark,
Crashing onto a soft warm bed,
Yet,
Waking up feeling like I am dead,
Not dead on the outside, buy dead on the in.
I felt like I was in this far away dream,
Taken away from a cruel fate,
Wanting to escape back,
Back to taht world of happy!
Back into that world of glee~!
Yet,
Unable to escape into the wonderful fantasy,
Alwayscaged up by cruel reality,
Always knowing why the caged bird was singing..
Singing to be free....

Surrounded by falling stars,
Walking in the endless dark,
Never awaken me from this fantasy,
Allow me to escape the cruen reality~

Childhood,

                   Such sweet everlasting blindfolded years.
          Where, we didn’t care who you were
                   We didn’t care where you from
                   We were just happy to have you as a friend.
Where the only type of love we yearned for
          Was the one given by our mother and father

How I remember those wonder-filled days,
          Where the only thing we whined about was,
                   Having more sweets and staying up later.
          Where the only thing we whished for was,
                   Having two front teeth and
                   Wanting to grow older.

Wanting to grow older so we could,
                   Buy a magical car to take us anywhere in the world!
Wanting to grow older so we could,
Buy whatever we god ****** felt like buying without our parents questioning our insanity!

But…
          What was so great about growing up?
Heck, when we got to that stage in our life,
We wished that we could build a time machine to go back to the past and relive those simpler days.

BUT!
          ITS TOO ******* BAD SUCH A THING DOESN’T EXIST!
          It’s too ******* bad that we live in a world of reality where it crushes our fantasy
          It’s just…
                   Too god ****** bad,
                             That when we grow older, our hearts grow wider…
                                      And the love we receive from our parents…
          Just isn’t enough.
So,
          Let me formally introduce my self,
          I am the loveless creature
Who was always told never to look at the  Moon,

Because it would forever remind me of me and you.
Because when ever I did look at the moon,
          I’d cry at its beautiful presence
Because its so ******* elegant to look at
          Yet its too god ****** far away to be with.
I couldn’t be like the stars that always surrounded its elegance
I couldn’t fly up to the moon because every time I tried,
          I ended up falling after breaking through Earth’s atmosphere
          Crashing and burning onto the ground.

Because I,
Am like many lonely hearted, hopelessly romantic, empty hearted people in Earth’s room who always wanted the warm fuzzy feeling of someone holding their hand
Of someone holding them in their arms
Of someone just being there for them when their world is crashing down on them.
I,
Am, like many people who have those awkward weird feelings of seeing everyone around them coupling off one by one,
Leaving you stranded all by yourself in a lonely corner entitled “Loveless Creature”

Yet,
          In that corner,
                   I always saw that devilishly looking moon
That always ******* stared down at me because I would never be able to reach the skies and become a star so I too can surround its elegance.
And I am always fearing that this dark corner I sit in
          Would forever become my “home” because I feared that
          I will forever remain a loveless creature.
Because I will always be a loveless creature…

So,
Can I please go back to those beautifully filled childhood days where all I ever required and needed was the love I received from my parents and even the graceful loving moments being surrounded by friends who never coupled off

Can’t my corner be a little bit brighter?
          So I can endure the pains of being an empty hearted creature?

Because, walking through those cruel ugly hallways
          Is just making me suffer.
Because, seeing that god awful moon
          Is just causing unwanted tears.

Heh,
          I guess its just the feelings of a loveless creature.
So,
Allow me to apologize to my friends who already found someone to complete them because I am unable to feel truly happy for you.
I am sorry that when you say, “I love you as a friend,” it never really filled the emptiness in my heart,
And for ******* cramping your style,
Because I cannot truly smile
Sorry for being entitled as the loveless creature,
And for having ****** up emotions
Sorry for crying when I looked at the elegant moon,
And for reading to you to you a disgusting depressed poetry about how ridiculously loveless I am!

And…
For those who are lonely hearted, hopelessly romantic, people who need to fill that empty void in their hearts,
Sorry that we all mostly feel the same
And that life put us in this cruel game,
But…
          Maybe in the future, not so far…
          We will become a star,
          Shinning ever so brightly
          Next to the one elegant moon
          That will forever complete that emptiness in our hearts.

Crunch away at your feelings,
Everything is meaningless,

Wash away your pain
All it will leave is a big stain.

Try to be that little bird that can fly away,
So you can leave behind that one awful day.

You can't grow wings,
You can't fly away,
The pain is too much,
You can't go on either way.

Wash away your pain
All you need is a little rain.

I don't need to hear it anymore,
I just want to scream and yell some more.
I don't want to hear his name again,
I just want to wash away the pain.

Wash away your pain,
But even with a little rain,
It will only leave a big *** stain.

I come from a moldy house
With human tall grass,
I grew up with water balloon fights, Saturday morning cartoons,
And the child like imagination I still carry.

Happiness, sunshine, and rainbows were all I ever was.
Things like gangs, ****, and even death
Were all unknown to a child’s mind.

I come from the lazes, the loud mouths,
The goof-offs, the gammers,
The writers, the poets, and the crazies.

From sunshine to isolation,
Sandy beaches to hard concrete
A lone fixed house to an overpopulated town house.
Struggling daily just to put food on the table.
Keeping up the grades just to get to that end of the bridge we call high school.
Bearing false happiness just to get through life

I come from the breaking sweat father breaks every day.
I am from the goals and dreams my parents have accomplished

I come from the center of the universe
  Growing wings and flying down to the Earth below,
Landing on the majestic, blue calm waters.
Like that lone forbidden fruit gently falling off the sacred tall

Doing different things,
Walking on a different path,
I’ll always know,
I’ll be on yours.
Falling for you over and over again.

And even if I was born into another life,
Doing other things I grew fears for.
Doing things I’ve always wished I’ve done.
Things that I’ve always regretted not doing,
I’d fall for you again and again,

Because maybe we were born with half a heart,
And we complete each other so much,
That even if we were born again into different lives,
Our hearts will still realign.

Insecurities are poisonous to a child's mind
It causes so much negativity in themselves that one day, death is the only thing positive left.
And it's not like that whole
"Oh Romeo, let me drink this poison to fake my death in order to be with you."
No, It's more like,
"Oh Romeo, I'm so FAT AND UGLY LET ME JUST USE THIS DAGGER IN ORDER TO
                END MY EXISTENCE"
And it's definitively not that whole "Teenaged Angst" psychologists come up with
It's more like society's baby food is starting to poison it's children.

You see,
Not so long ago society started this whole standards issue on how girls and boys are supposed to look like
Girls are supposed to have that hourglass figure where regularly eating is considered being a ******.
And where anerexia is the new cover of beauty magazines.
And guys are never supposed to cry,
Because tears are a sign of weakness and not how strong they've been holding those weights in.
And guys who are always on the cover of men's magazines are those muscle headed jerks who treat women as if they were mere objects

You see,
According to society
That whole lesson on "Be Yoursellf" is just a myth because being yourself is a sign of ugliness
And to trule feel that sign of beautty is to wear the mask of another.

And not so long ago,
I used to think like that.
I used to have those grey clouds in my head because there was always that one negative voice telling me I wasn't good enough
That no one wanted to be near a horrible existence liek me.
All those compliments like
Pretty
Beautiful
Unique
And Cool
Turned into insults like,
Ugly
Hideous
Plain
And Stupid
This whole negativity turned into a game of darts,
Where I was the target and te insults were knives
And it got to the point where I thought sweet ever lasting afterlife seemed like the only way out.
But because I'm the type of person who over thinks her actions,
Something like suicide never played out.
Days went by,
And all those pretty compliments turned into ugly insults,
And it seemd like that glimmer of hope wasn't going to come shine down through the dark clouds.
Even that game of insult darts,
Was trying to aim its knives at my heart.

Then...
One day,
I looked into a mirror
And I finally saw that pretty girl everyone was talking about
Those grey clouds in my head finally cleared up and showed Mr. Sun.
Those knives aiming for my heart turned into cherry blossom petals dancing in the wind.
Even those insecurities the negative voice pointed out,
Turned into compliments, perfections, and even beatifications
You see,
Insecurities can poison a child's mind
But,
It's up to the child to use it as a leathel weapon or an antidote for life long lessons.
Looking back on that self reflecting day,
I have learned to turn those imperfections that once kept me down into perfections that can hold my self esteem high up.
And I've learend that
I am terribly afraid of being someone other than myself.
So,
Livingup to society's standards of a female no longer worries me.
Because
The only standards I should worry about are the ones I make for myself.
And
Insecurities should no longer be apart of that.