I dont like it when I search for an answer
and stumble upon ten more questions instead

I dont like hearing my name and finding out
no one called me

I dont like thinking about how you wont be here
when this all over

they ask me why
and i say my mind changes

the opportunity hasn't presented itself
the pickings have never been in existence

what is it to feel an emotion so strong
that you no longer know who is in control

help is here and you are going to be ok

it's quite a shame isnt it?
to be a victim of your own mind
to be the worst enemy to yourself
to loathe life because youre the one living it

it's quite a shame isnt it?
to feel like you no longer hear laughter, only cries for help
to sit and wait, but you arent sure what for
to live in denial that beauty exists

it's quite a shame isnt it?
to be alive

Don't judge me because I complain about it
the fact of the matter is I'm not going to be happy about it
because once when you get right down to it,
no one wants to be alone.

I found my outlet
no more room to vent

I found my solace
no more time to cry

I found my place
no more need to harm

I am a closed bottle
my feelings are written as a message on paper
rolled up
and stuffed inside

i am a broken mirror
shards of glass scattered about
watch where you step

i am a piece of paper
crumple me up
and no matter how much you try
i will never be perfect again

I am the dropped penny that rolls underneath the sofa
don't bother looking for me
I'm just a penny
it isn't worth the effort

i am the old book in the far corner of the shelf
collecting dust
if you opened me and read me
you would enjoy it
but you don't
and i remained unnoticed

my feelings are fatal
my thoughts can ****

I have scars on my arms
to remind me of the harm I'm capable of

i have bruises on my knees
from leaning over the toilet

no more am i girl
now i am a drone
numb
so very numb
and empty