When surrounded by artists you'll see a vary of characters...

the ones that cannot stand still
dance to every beat in the music
as if no one sees

the fashionista who may I say needs everything her way
she may cause you a headache
but if you fit her vibe
she's the sweetest of them all

the poet who sits alone at the table with their coffee
looking around to see the many faces of the room
who hears words flowing thru their mind 24/7
the poet doesn't speak much just enjoying their coffee

the painter like the poet likes to be alone
watches the many people stroll through
but stares harder, as they are trying to catch every feature
in their facials
the painter loves tea something to soothe the mind

ode to the many characters inside the art cafe

force me to be?
anything which I'm not
force me to who?
to be
anyone I'm not
yes dear
indeed
anyone but you
me dear?
she will be the death of you.

accept who is me .
find new ways to be
you with the red hair
switch and take charge.

fiery and forceful.
make the acceptance be.

me?
yes dear
It will be me
oh you.. honey dew
anyone but you.

goodbye for tomorrow
then tomorrow will do

goodbye for now
me and you

i thought i fell for you
again
hope comes through
telling me GIRL
you are better off alone.

"If you weren't an *******, you would be full of ****"

envidia cochina
***** jealousy
the thoughts in my head
the nasty taste of the words coming out of my mouth
the immeasurable guilt i feel
you are so kind to me
but i want him
to be honest
i want them all
i dont know how to share
and i never been good at rejection
but they arent for me to have
and your beauty radiates
how can they not see what i see?
its only inevitable
ur light shines
and so does mine

Once upon time lived a girl in her cozy green sweater with her own yeast tea known as beer, she pondered along the road until she came upon this small brewery.
This little young lady often wondered what it would be like to **** herself. As if it was falling asleep in a bed of lavender flowers.
She shakes the thought off though, as many times as she laughs about it a day.
She has forgotten all the loves of yesterday, the joy it is to push forward. She wishes for a knight to come sweep her off of her feet on a white horse with golden roses. Yet when they come she cannot be bothered.
This girl sits at the brewery with her very own tea, watching some silly show on the TV. She romanticizes around and asks herself how can she move on with out a white knight?

If I can write a self love letter to myself what would I say?
What would I say?

The person who randomly cries at the push of the button. The woman so insecure the slightest thoughts of anyone or pressure or ideas drives her insane.
The entire world fears her.
She stays frozen scared.
Sometimes steps outside w the help of tequila...
Used to be whiskey. I miss the whiskey days.
Wine is a always. Beer on most.

We even went crazy and chugged malort for a week. This woman? This BOLD crazy hell of a time.. scared?
It's the liqour that helps. Helps her feel normal. You can always blame the liq.
With out shes lost looking for a sense of direction constantly listening to noises which none need to be heard.
Taking it in becoming it. Not knowing what sticks and what slips.
She is the wind blowing across the roof onto the top of the trees.
She's the bunny skipping from yard to yard.
She's the one crying all alone in the room. Sits there and bawls. All day long.

this feeling crashes over my whole body
cannot speak it outloud
filled with broken static of humiliation
my ex would appreciate it
darkest of nightmares
swimming through the middle of sea
with nobody to turn to
it's just me
i swam too far
now alone in solitude
trapped in this navy blue storm
tears fall and water rises
waves crashing from left and right
drowning in this ocean
seagulls are chirping
whales are singing their song
hoping to be like pinochocio
but nobodys here
must swim back
or sink

I didn't fully stop.
I should've waited. Correct.
I realized though and even went slow.
No accident was done.
Both cars were at a standstill.
I just kept inching instead of a complete stop.
Two snails moving, one more of a caterpillar.
Indeed it was my fault. But...
You RODE up on me and threaten to hit me.
You could have. In your 6ft black jeep.
Drive right over me like a toy car in your monster truck.
I pulled to the side and let you go because you are in a hurry.
You screamed and I apologize politely.
You screamed. screamed and screamed. Face as red as my nails.
I didn't think this situation caused for that much anger.
This was nowhere near an accident.
I do realize I should have stopped longer.
Now I hear your screams in my head and threats to my life. You are angry at something greater than me.
That was rage at its finest.
I apologize. I pray. You are okay.
I pray. I am okay.
****.

she pushes herself then falls back into the depth of patterns and bruises. she fights to stand up but sometimes it feels easier to stay laying down. pondering to herself is someone holding her down or is it simply her choice?
begging anyone to give her the strength to keep fighting.

Surrendering you is hard.
Yet it feels so right.
We tried it and it wasn’t meant to be,
turned to destruction and before the storm could pour down we got the umbrellas and went inside.
Turned our different ways.
It’s okay.
You planted a seed in me, you may never see it harvest.
You lifted the bar, and it shall continue growing.
Helped me find back the light and reminded me of His warmth.
We made mistakes, both know.
Wise enough to see it couldn’t keep going.
Only God knows what God wants.
I trust in His plan.
Letting go.
Letting God.
Surrendering you is hard but holding onto to you is harder.

morning
laying in bed
unable to move
trying to find the words
to let go of you
thought I was there
oh such a fool
what I need now
is the greatest of tools
a source with no end
a well that never stops
a joy that protects from light and dark
He who never sleeps
He who never slumbers
He who is always there watching over us
He can help me let go of you
remember the greatness beyond us two

Bittersweet
The taste on my tongue
The heaviness of the chocolate
With a tartness that longs
This is what it feels like
To really let you go.

lonely yet grateful
fear yet excited
broken hearted yet open minded
longing yet present

he does not like you.
he does not like you.
he does.. not.. like you.
he.. does.. not like.. you.
he does not like you.

& it’s okay.

rose are red
violets are blue
forget the little things
that he used to do

I hurt my own feelings
Making up thoughts of you
I hold my breath
As my heart pounds in my chest
I scroll through images
Until I want to throw up
I make up stories
Creating my own pain