I'm not pretty to you anymore,
I'm not pretty to myself.

Oh god, how I love everything about you!
How everything I see screams it in my ears "i love you!"
You, you silly boy.
Such a naked boy,
ashamed of life and emotions.

Oh, let me love you!

I paint the picture,
And I let it burn,
The memory more important,
Than picture in frame.

Does beauty entail responsibility?

How is it that when I'm sad, happiness eludes me, and when I'm happy, sadness is not near?

Is it the honesty in people that make them so appealing?

Does life begin once one makes sense of life?

Can one be too much alone?

Can evil be veiled?

Is stubbornness a strength?

How do I rid my self destructive habits in love?

How do I clean up my act when all I am is afraid?

Is it wrong that my thoughts turn me on?

The situation proved unsatisfactory.
The moment I opened my mouth,
I knew I couldn't give her what she wanted.
The silence sought began to seep from my fingers,
And the glow of her face began to fade.

She's tired.

It's hobo time,
finding my fingerless gloves,
picking up his one black sock instead,
wondering what's going to happen.
I wish you didn't want her dead-
I know you care much more than you tell me.
Stupid, stereotypical hobo heart-have no place to go.

A car passes by.
Time to think about my past,
reminisce on the good and the bad,
the sickening tragedy.
I don't want to look behind me,
I can already envision her there,
you looking at her constantly,
wanting to be beside her.
While I'm out here with my hobo heart,
& I can't ask the question.
My fingers are cold.

Will my eyes deceive me if I take a glance,
Will I see the spark I saw between you two in the past?
Tell me, sock, why let the spark happen?
But sock doesn't listen: you can't control human nature, might as well find a different occupation.

Truth be told, I don't want to look.
I don't trust you.
I know when your heart is lying.
(You still want her, this is how it happens.)

Walking home, I neglect I am alive. Accustomed to the mundane, the rich hues in the sky evade me. My insides weep to be awoken once more; dance in the depths and soar in the heights. My soul is asleep. My heart trembles where lovers once occupied; If only I could fixate on what is true.

But I am asleep.

Please turn it down,
turn everything down.
Better yet, turn everything off.

Life is chatter: life is noise and clutter.
Please shut it off.

Pressure builds in the valley,
The crevices of my mind.
Feeling alone in an occupied world,
I stand with the burdens and doubts that inhibit me.
Whether I hold on or let go,
The stress merely engulfs me.
I am stuck in a hidden place where no one can find me,
As I desperately seek an answer .

I am empty,
Miserable,
Loved.

I do not deserve to live.
I deserve nothing.

I am forever in this body until it dies.
Until my flesh has become dust,
And I am once again reunited with the stars.

Give up on me, poor fellow.
Your love is suited elsewhere.
Be happy and free without me.

When the world feels smooth,
Like warm butter,
I gently place my fingertips;
To poke the tiny pink flowers,
That lay hidden in the field,
Waiting to be swayed by the wind.

There are depths I seek,
Situate young valleys upon mountain peaks;
I am conflicted in the here and now.

Balance is electric,
I'm dancing with the eels.
Only clouded by my vision,
So hard to tell.

I want to breathe bliss while I'm in your arms!
I want to squeeze tight to the wings of wind,
And let go-all at once falling to depths and heights never felt before.
I want to play in the dirt and smother myself in clay.
I want to lick the leaves on the trees,
And watch bunnies nibble on grass blades.
I want to cast away all the sadness of the planet and embrace an old woman,
And thank her for her life!
I want to make music, dance, and climb trees.
I want you to be you, always.

Our paths drift,
We fall out,
You don't follow me anymore;
Because you want to live here,
And I want to reside there.

You prefer that story,
Which inevitably contradicts mine.
As I melt into anger,
You shine from excreted ember's hue.

You embrace the aches as I push them away,
You ride as I resist;
That is our fatal destination.

I know it has something to do with happiness,
contentment.
It has some association to daily life,
ordinary things.
It is bonded to even the miracles that seldom visualize in experience.

It's about chance versus choice.
About fate versus decision.
& it's not something that is complete.....
....yet..

When life tests you,
It's hard to hold onto reality.

I've heard love doesn't last;
Even if it's there,
It will wane,
Fade away.
And just because you love someone,
Doesn't mean you ought' to be with them.
And just because you feel the pain,
Doesn't mean it's there.

Well, now, look here sir!
I love,
I ache,
I cry,
I smile!
And if love will fade, then it was never really there,
For the love that is real never disappears.
And it's up to choice to decide what to do,
Either stay, or go, or give up here.
For only your life can be lived by you,
It's up to chance to pull us through.
& Though I hate to admit it,  
My ultimate fear is losing you.

I smother myself to feel,
To attempt,
To drive away the sickening and staggering of my heart,
In effort to present a spotless love.
A love without effort,
A place without clutter.
A lesson without burden.

One constantly thinks of lover,
In the breath she takes,
In the exhale that proceeds,
While mingling with flowers, grass, and toad.

Impishly, as though to whisper,
His name tickles her ear,
Begin the spasms to her inner sphere.

Yes! Unsullied Comrade!
Let her feed you sweet fruits,
Nestle your head near her *******.
Give her expert love with tickle of kiss!

She may be confined to impudent human,
But 'tis evidently true,
That she effortlessly does care,
And care especially for you.

The vacancy that came,
When you left me astray,
Created a void:
Inadequate,
Unworthy,
Unwilling.

So delicately you came,
Untouched,
You left me.

A sigh, transparent.
My body in chills, I crawl.

I chew on frozen pebbles;
Minding the dark,
I play with bitter fingertips imagined.

I'm sorry,
I frightened you.
I don't hate you.
I'm disappointed in myself for all the images I see,
That I cannot alter, or comfort, or change.
Because I'm afraid of rejection, expectations, and lack of feeling free.

My emptiness cannot comfort you entirely,
Yet I can show you of solaces beyond what one visually can see.

I want to walk away from you.
I want to be able to drop you,
and not be phased by your cries.

I cant stand this anxious lingering;
this cringing inside me that twists my nerves.
My heart clings to the brightness,
and I want to die.

Give up, move on.
I want to torture you.

I will cradle myself till tears subside.
Though fatal the pain appears,
I will persuade myself whole.
If not today, soon.
It means more to me to let go of my pride than lose you.

It is time now-
To start respecting my empty void,
And mirror my love back to you.