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Apr 2013 · 728
Blush
Anastasia M Apr 2013
Secret lover,
Hidden in my dreams,
Why can't he be you?

Seamlessly you show me love,
Caress my heart with poetic brow,
Teasing my mind,
Endless philosophical pursuit.

And he doesn't see my pain as you do.
And he can't sooth me like the idea of you.
Hold me endless,
Poetic. Strong. Effortlessly Broken.
Why can't he be you?
Apr 2013 · 538
A Year and Four Months
Anastasia M Apr 2013
If I am abuse,
I am irrational,
And I am insecure,
Then you are a *******,
You are insane,
And you are unstable
To want to stay.
Apr 2013 · 385
Mutual
Anastasia M Apr 2013
I surround myself with books because people irk me.
Apr 2013 · 451
Don't Forget
Anastasia M Apr 2013
Don’t buy into it.
Don’t lose yourself by the ads, the images, the appeals.
It is here to make you pay for it-“you lack this”.
Of course you lack it.
“It” is man-made; it cannot be obtained.
No one can fulfill that, not one thing can fulfill that lack, that hole, nothing but yourself.
Give yourself that love, give yourself that nourishment, because those things, those images and stereotypes, they cannot, will not, give you satisfaction.
It’s a game.
*** has become a game, music has become a game.
In order to win the game, you must be the best.
You must play well, and you must have everything they sell you.
It is Competition; and it is killing us.

Only love for self-as we are, as we were born to be, can overcome the lack.
And the best thing about this love,
Once you live it,
Accept it,
Be it,
You drop competition.
And once you drop competition,
Suffering ends,
Wars end,
Hatred and negativity ends.

But humans don’t want to drop competition,
Because humans have adapted their minds  
To live in fear,
Because fear gives them something to do.
It gives us something to accomplish.
And this, this makes me sad.
Apr 2013 · 1.5k
The Aches of Living
Anastasia M Apr 2013
I am empty,
Miserable,
Loved.

I do not deserve to live.
I deserve nothing.

I am forever in this body until it dies.
Until my flesh has become dust,
And I am once again reunited with the stars.

Give up on me, poor fellow.
Your love is suited elsewhere.
Be happy and free without me.
Feb 2013 · 256
Ucky Feeling
Anastasia M Feb 2013
When life tests you,
It's hard to hold onto reality.
Feb 2013 · 335
I Will Be Okay
Anastasia M Feb 2013
My tears will accompany me tonight,
And they shall release all my poisons,
And they shall comfort me,
And they will fulfill me.
Feb 2013 · 339
Certain Hell
Anastasia M Feb 2013
Will my whole life be a constant conscious struggle, a battle between the emotional and logical? Is it safe to assume I am forever tortured by my conscious mind? I am constantly seeking my full potential-and when I feel I am close to knowing, somehow I lose myself-and I'm wrong or deeply disturbed.

Sometimes I want to be a bird and coo strange noises.
Feb 2013 · 241
Simple Question #8
Anastasia M Feb 2013
How do I clean up my act when all I am is afraid?
Anastasia M Feb 2013
I want to breathe bliss while I'm in your arms!
I want to squeeze tight to the wings of wind,
And let go-all at once falling to depths and heights never felt before.
I want to play in the dirt and smother myself in clay.
I want to lick the leaves on the trees,
And watch bunnies nibble on grass blades.
I want to cast away all the sadness of the planet and embrace an old woman,
And thank her for her life!
I want to make music, dance, and climb trees.
I want you to be you, always.
Feb 2013 · 588
How I once felt: conscious
Anastasia M Feb 2013
Such a desolate fate,
Driven by insolent oafs,
Though I am no better.

Incandescent fervor,
Merciless minds,
Constant remembrance of meticulous void.

Mindless opinions,
Pungent noise,
Ethereal existence,
General facade,
Contrived smile,
-hollowed.
Nothing good can grow here now.

Empty, ugly fate.
Burdened conscious.
Jan 2013 · 416
Ultimate Fear
Anastasia M Jan 2013
I've heard love doesn't last;
Even if it's there,
It will wane,
Fade away.
And just because you love someone,
Doesn't mean you ought' to be with them.
And just because you feel the pain,
Doesn't mean it's there.

Well, now, look here sir!
I love,
I ache,
I cry,
I smile!
And if love will fade, then it was never really there,
For the love that is real never disappears.
And it's up to choice to decide what to do,
Either stay, or go, or give up here.
For only your life can be lived by you,
It's up to chance to pull us through.
& Though I hate to admit it,  
My ultimate fear is losing you.
Jan 2013 · 271
Simple Question #7
Anastasia M Jan 2013
How do I rid my self destructive habits in love?
Jan 2013 · 656
Simple Question #6
Anastasia M Jan 2013
Is stubbornness a strength?
Jan 2013 · 262
Simple Question #5
Anastasia M Jan 2013
Can evil be veiled?
Jan 2013 · 212
Simple Question #4
Anastasia M Jan 2013
Can one be too much alone?
Dec 2012 · 530
Dreaded
Anastasia M Dec 2012
I cannot remember how it feels,
to push hard pedals,
break fast from the training wheels.
To play in mud, chalk, and piles of sand,
attempting to conquer and rule imaginary land.

I forgot what the magic felt like,
between two people,
whom cherish one another with gentle caress,
subtle kiss on immaculate eye.

Where have I been the past 18 years?
What's wrong with feeling wrong this way?
Dec 2012 · 215
Simple Question #3
Anastasia M Dec 2012
Does life begin once one makes sense of life?
Dec 2012 · 353
Ode To Self
Anastasia M Dec 2012
I'm going to conquer my fear,
and live.
Dec 2012 · 743
Beautiful Ladies
Anastasia M Dec 2012
How I admire you,
You respectable women,
strong in beauty and dreams.
Fearlessly conquering settings and scenes.
Building strong walls,
Admiring fate.
You women who grab life by the reins,
And decide to keep going and changing the facts.
Making the history, eluding submission.
Day-by-day dedication to the vital health:
organs, *******, and hair.

Set your stage, you women of beauty!
Embrace yourself and love seamlessly .
Anastasia M Dec 2012
Oh, how I dream of becoming a medicine woman!
To live in the mountains under the precious stars,
Greeting people as I roam small towns,
Reading their  futures by mystical moonlight.
Whispering to trees and projecting unto the day what I want to get done.

What's holding me back?
I haven't the slightest idea.
Dec 2012 · 396
Simple Question #2
Anastasia M Dec 2012
Is it the honesty in people that make them so appealing?
Dec 2012 · 432
Simple Question #1
Anastasia M Dec 2012
Does beauty entail responsibility?
Dec 2012 · 565
AUM
Anastasia M Dec 2012
AUM
I have learned not to justify life.
But am I okay? Why can't I simply be alone?
It's good to know somewhere, someone else feels this way.
Thank you humanity,
fluidly giving me comfort joys.
Dec 2012 · 3.7k
DNA
Anastasia M Dec 2012
DNA
What am I organically? Not simply, biologically.
What do I like without any preconceived notion or idea about something,
anything at all?
Dec 2012 · 470
Reagan
Anastasia M Dec 2012
Oh god, how I love everything about you!
How everything I see screams it in my ears "i love you!"
You, you silly boy.
Such a naked boy,
ashamed of life and emotions.

Oh, let me love you!
Dec 2012 · 494
Trivial Meaning of Life
Anastasia M Dec 2012
I know it has something to do with happiness,
contentment.
It has some association to daily life,
ordinary things.
It is bonded to even the miracles that seldom visualize in experience.

It's about chance versus choice.
About fate versus decision.
& it's not something that is complete.....
....yet..
Anastasia M Dec 2012
It's hobo time,
finding my fingerless gloves,
picking up his one black sock instead,
wondering what's going to happen.
I wish you didn't want her dead-
I know you care much more than you tell me.
Stupid, stereotypical hobo heart-have no place to go.

A car passes by.
Time to think about my past,
reminisce on the good and the bad,
the sickening tragedy.
I don't want to look behind me,
I can already envision her there,
you looking at her constantly,
wanting to be beside her.
While I'm out here with my hobo heart,
& I can't ask the question.
My fingers are cold.

Will my eyes deceive me if I take a glance,
Will I see the spark I saw between you two in the past?
Tell me, sock, why let the spark happen?
But sock doesn't listen: you can't control human nature, might as well find a different occupation.

Truth be told, I don't want to look.
I don't trust you.
I know when your heart is lying.
(You still want her, this is how it happens.)
Dec 2012 · 428
Certainty Nothing
Anastasia M Dec 2012
I'm certain of nothing.
I know nothing.
I am nothing.
And that is good.
Dec 2012 · 687
Oklahoma
Anastasia M Dec 2012
Heaven on Earth is a bathroom after a three hour car ride home.
Dec 2012 · 4.9k
Bitch
Anastasia M Dec 2012
She began by biting the bark off a tree
Dec 2012 · 415
Static
Anastasia M Dec 2012
Please turn it down,
turn everything down.
Better yet, turn everything off.

Life is chatter: life is noise and clutter.
Please shut it off.
Dec 2012 · 444
December 11, 2012
Anastasia M Dec 2012
Wish you felt me,
Wish you cared a little more.

But you can't force feelings and you can't be in control.
What's gone is gone,
No point in resurrection.

— The End —