The fabric soft against my skin.
I slip into it,
ravishing the feeling of this moment.
Wondering how many more tomorrows will feel this way.
Until I realize its soiled,
these disgusting stains that have made me collateral damage.
Its so grimy!
So foul!
How revolting!
How I hate my self for hating you...
                                                          ­                                                                 ­                           Its like I can't escape him.
His stench of betrayal follows me  every where!
I can’t clean it off!
The pride that once held this ivory shade,
is now smeared and torn with images of you.
                                                            ­                                                                 ­              Fine then, be with her.
Pearl buttons and lace ties hang by mere threads
where beautiful memories once stitched them together.
You've left me tarnished and tainted.
                                                        ­                                                              Wh­at did i see in you.
It’s like the world can see this new shade.
A stench that seeps from the stains!
Creating this barricade from who I want to be!
Who I want to show to him.
I hide my now homely love,
stuck in box,
beneath my bed,
unable to rid my self of your Pandora's box,
in ambition to make sure,
no one will ever see this ***** laundry.

It felt nice to hold her again.
Basketting her with my arms and legs,
I brought our bodies closer together.
She had that same heavy breathing from before.
She put her head on my shoulder
and I put mine on hers.
She stroked my arm.
It's been about 4 months since she's done that.
It's been about 4 months since I've held her like this.
I still don't understand why.
She says the same.
I guess I blame it on
myself.
I know it's not my fault,
but I'll blame myself.
I blame it on myself.

His eyes grew dark and distant
absolutely nothing wrong
He smiled without his eyes
how are you feeling?
nothing, numb, bored

Bracing each other, pushing
                                             out

Fearing the flatline, we find
one another, in the dark

Rubbing the blood back into his palms
he buries his breath in my clean hair
Counting down the seconds, we remember

Leaving the cold room, he asks
is it over now?

so this is what its like
to be a woman
fall in love
way too fast
way too hard
leaving with a heart
not scratched
but scarred
so this is what its like
to be a woman
lose your innocence
way too young
to someone
who has never,
will never
love you
and while you're at it
abort his son, too...
so this is what its like
to be a woman
carry the burden
of years
of pain
on her shoulders
in her womb
in her tears
hopes
dreams
and
fears
so this
is what its like
to be
a
woman