The men I date
The places I live
a song I humm
don't know the lyrics to
I forgot where I heard it

You say give it up and come to me
I say yes but I can't leave

Is it my pride
Is it because you're too close to a young child's daydream

All you see
Is pretty
And good enough for me

I need a place to hide
And that isn't in these mottos that were forced on me

Friends and colleagues saying the same **** thing

There will always be you and me
In a sound
In a smell
In a new woman to pull the trigger

You're a liar,
You can't hate me

I hear the faucet dripping and the mechanics of the blue collar work trucks
Intervals of silence and speeding spinning tires and old brake pads

***** and worn slip resistant boots
Soot and divided revisions
Under eye circles unaware of the cycle
Botched circadian rhythms

Allegorical authority in my observations of worn hands and steel temperaments

Toast it with a beer can at 8am and proclaim I am the one who is teetering towards them
But we are them
The grown ups in the grind
We ******* grew up my friend and time applies to you and me
Are you who you thought you would be?
You are the complacent adult
The enemy of dreams

Secrets we share
Because we like the Cohen brothers
Love Torchys tacos
Because people gossip but don't care

When your mom dies I'll help you clean her house
I'll drop everything and come down to be with you

I'd leave  my life now but then I'd have no stories to tell you

Remember in the summer when we would steal swims in random apartment complex pools

Texas sunsets
Bright and fading
Just like you and me

We had to skip town again

All these courses for you in  grad school
All these cities for me to rethink

Sometimes I'm fatigued and my mind and heart can't settle on a single person or thing

Palpable memories
Remember getting high and listening to fugazi
Just like you and me

There better be an ashtray at the end of this rainbow
The record is spinning static
       Room key has your name left with it
The bayou chattering like the immigrants tray full of ***** wine glasses

Nobody is coming for you
Turn out the lights

I warned you
Even crying babies have to say goodnight


The hallway lights start to flicker
My feet no longer touch the ground
I wander out into the empty twilight cooridors where lowly Cajun girls were found

Nobody is coming for you
The water  splashes room numbers throughout the hallway
I can't remember which floor I'll find you
My number is up anyway

Run to catch the train
Porous metal sound grinding
Needle drops

The strings creep
tunnel wind sweeps like the first note of the
symphony

Sonic upheaval
Your subway trash
Spending all this cash
Submersible weasel

I'm out of breath
My cheeks are red
I look like I'm 25
You're looking at my phone
Convinced I lied

My bag is checked
I'm on the next plane
I say I'll be back
But what if I never see you again

How angry would you be
How hard did you fall
Racing through the turn stiles
Gotta make last call

I dropped my gloves in the pub
All the mementos you keep in your closet in a corner on the floor

All this upheaval
Your memorabilia
People are just people
You collect them like a hamster like there will never be more

Darling
Caress my burdens
Watch me float away like the smoke from the cigarette you just bummed from the trumpet player

My wit will dissolve with the tidal wave of dopamine

Your friends laugh at my jokes
Later tonight you'll see another side of me

I'm really tired
And your eyes are cloudy

I'm apprehensive  because you're being so nice to me

I really loved the picture in front of the tree
I really loved how you got down on one knee

My smile closes like a heavy velvet curtain

My eyes are the ticket stubs of something certain

Darling
Help me manage my burdens

Speak easy to me
Set me up at Sutton's
Bar tender's chipping ice and watching the foam rise to the top is something

Stand close to me
You always tell me I'm pretty

Let's head to a diner
I've had too much to drink and I'm being ******

I've had this cough for weeks
I've had this smile since we met

My body has been run ragged
And my heart is outside of my chest

And I always have secrets
And I always have my romantic greed

I don't care about money that's why I haven't got any, but I need love that bleeds