lost all ambition
by 8 o'clock in the morning
my condition
is getting worse
and by condition
i mean the fact
that i've realized
that this isn't where i want to be

I sit here
Trying to read meaning into every missing second
Every little blip that it took you to think about what you just said…
Doubt? Restraint? How best to lie?
What flies
Through your mind?
Does it have anything to do with the fact
That you told me that you loved me
And then apologized…
What of that?
I apologize for nothing
I regret not a single thing done
I take back not a smile, a laugh, a song sung
In joviality…
Somehow our love was just this odd joke
That we entertained off and on
We were thrown into chaos when it broke
Over reality…
Like an egg cracked on top of a globe
It encased our small, narrow-minded world
Made it slip out our fingers
Made it roll, made it whirl.
Now we sit here with this
Slimy, newborn thing
Not sure whether or not to laugh at such a preposterous idea
And fling
It from us…
Or to examine it, seriously and closely
Think about it for a while
Pick and choose what we want
Contemplate the weight of denial…
If you really just want someone to always be there
Someone to watch movies with
Someone to laugh with
Then I guess I don’t really care…
I just wish it hadn’t been said at all…
A ball
Will roll if you push it…
An object in motion will remain so
Until something stops it…
But really,
Your apology has gone and done what it ought…
It has successfully replaced and retracted
All that was thought…
I’m sure we’ll be great friends
Until you slip up…again.

Today, I am glad it is winter.
No need to make up excuses for wearing a sweater
Until I am

                                                          

                                                                                                                better.



Little blue vein
In my wrist
Little silver knife
In my fist
I cannot decide
If I want you two to meet
I don't know whether to stay,
Or to leave...
Little
blue
vein




                                                                 bleed out the pain


Because I can't wear a sweater

                                    

                                                                                                                                                                   forever.

Hey you!
I remember you...
You remembered me
Our smiles know each other.
Our eyes remember the days
So long ago
When we liked one another.

I can still see the hidden
Words
Around your mouth
I remember
That you hide them
Only because you're scared
Of how they  might come out.

Do you remember how you used to tease me?
And how I'd laugh right back?
Do you remember how it used to be
To not worry
About things like love?

I remember.

Feelings.
Mutual no more.
You walked out of my life,
You closed the door.
Alone tonight,
Forever more.

I pretend it’s true,
me and you.
You hold me close,
nussel my nose.
You kiss my cheek,
oh so sweet.
You pull me in,
that’s when I grin.
The only thing that’s on my mind,
is the one thing that’s hardest to find.
I’m here with you now,
something no one can change.
You’re mine for the moment.
My heart? Yes you stole it.
Who’s to blame
if you don’t feel the same?
It’s not your fault.
Nor is it mine.
Just remember,
It’s fun to pretend sometimes.

there's a girl behind me
wailing, falling to pieces,
and i'm too terrified
to even turn around.
I feel like an *******.

I turned off my music
to hear what she was saying.
she only screamed.

I looked around the bus and saw
that everyone was doing
as I was doing:
listening, but trying to look
as though we weren't listening.

we were all embarrassed
that someone was breaking down
and it was too real
for any of us to accept.

what's wrong?
what can I do to help you?
come for a walk with me.
let me hold you.

these are some of the things that
I was screaming inside my head,
but I
couldn't
even
turn
a-*******-round.

Do you ever look up at the sky and fear for your life?
Fear for the heart that thrives inside you?
The same heart that throbs like a newly drilled cavity,
and flutters in sync with your stomach while boarding cloud nine,
do you fear it will stop?

Do you fear for your voice?
The unique song that plays through your teeth,
the one noise that stands strong above the thunder.
Do you fear it will fall silent?

Do you fear for your body?
Your growing flesh and breathing soul?
Or do you sit and wish all three were up above,
wound up in a cloud?

I do fear for our beating hearts
which will grow old and ache with every night that turns,
and our voice that shall fall off key
with every day that shines.
But, if we are to rot,
with our slowly wrinkling souls and decaying skin,
we will no doubt do it together, therefore,
I shall not fear at all, but prepare for the days to come.
For when I look up at the sky, I do not wish to be apart of it,
but to remain beneath in happiness,
suffering with you.