I listen to too much rap music
And smoke too much ****
I got fired from my job
But I just can't leave
I still go there all the time
I still say hello to the kids
I still wish that I was something else
I wish that I was dead
And through the conflicts and the chaos
And the things that ******* this up
I feel like the real reason why this happened
Is because I just wasn't enough

I am a package
Full of lies
And years of careful
Deceit.

I am the wind
Roaring, howling
In the night, for
Everything that isn't.

I am water
Dripping, slowly
Down soft warm skin in
The dead of the night.

I am a scream
Muffled, a
Dull throb in a
Bleeding heart.

I am whispers.
I am darkness.
I am guilt.
I am pleas.

I am lies,
Years of
Carefully constructed
Lies.

Your intelligence inspired me and compelled
     Me to reach for higher fences.

Your beauty disarmed me and caused
     Me to cast aside closely held defenses.

Your touch warmed me and stimulated
     Every one of my senses

Your Love engulfed me and motivated
     Me to shed long held pretenses.


Sadly...

Your heart now evades me and embraces
     All of my offenses.

Over the thought of you
Everything was never true
So stubborn ignore the clues
Hoping you'd change not happening anytime soon
Life fuels ip with hate and rage no more you
Thinking clear set the record straight
No sense of time always late for others
Friends have families fallen brothers
Not sure how to love take the next best thing
Move towards real love don't be fake!
She use to love you but there's no more faith
In her heart why be around she brings you down
Smiles with other gives you ***** looks
You'll only find imaginary love in books

Lost
within

within the infinite variety of patterns

Saturn's taking me down
so heavy, so comfortable
into the lull of sleep

Communication is the key
to understand the shadow
to unite both
shadow and light
to be true to the dominion of the self

to understand one's self
through
the fight
the trials
the trickery
the seduction
the fear
The trials of man
the ultimate goal

the production of gold from lead