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Hummingbird Blue Mar 2014
A best friend is someone who loves you
You can tell them all of your secrets
They listen to all of your stories

A best friend is someone who accepts you
Someone who supports you
A person who treats you special

A best friend is someone you look forward to seeing
You laugh with them
You wish you could spend eternity with them

A best friend is something everyone needs to have
Someone who never judges you
Someone who respects you

A best friend is someone not feared
Someone who does not make you cry
They won't put you down

A best friend does not say hurtful things
They do not ignore you when you speak
They apologize when they are in the wrong

A best friend should not be intimidating
You are supposed to feel comfortable
You should be able to talk about everything

So what do I call you?

You say you love me
But you have disrespected me

You make me fearful
You hurt my feelings

I bow down to you
Because I do not want you to be angry

What are you to me?

If you are ever to read this
Take it to heart
I am not brave enough to say these words aloud

Because I am scared of you
And that's not fair
Read the first line again
Hummingbird Blue Jul 2013
You did it, and now you're gone.
How did you get the courage? How did nothing go wrong?

Jealous in a way, one thats indescribable
How did you do it without thinking of all the people?

Everything you said, was deep and right there
I wish I would have seen, I would have been aware

Maybe I could have stopped you or maybe you could have helped me
You're right life is unfair, sometimes I too want to leave

A temporary problem is what they all say
But no one gets how we feel, no one expects that sad day

I hope you are happy and I hope you find peace
I'm trying to be strong, not quite ready to leave

An inspiration to all and something to look up to
Not only as a role model but now heaven too has you
Hummingbird Blue Jun 2013
Tears fall, and she still tries to hide it
Her progress is nothing therefore she wants to quit

Looking down is what she does best
Nothing is felt except the angry heart inside her chest

Smiling to cover up what is deep down
A loud deep cry is the only inner sound

Eyes sometimes look, but they don't actually see
This girl needs help, this girl is me
Hummingbird Blue Jul 2013
we were it and that was all
everyone knew, and everyone saw

foolish, young, and gullible was I
I said I loved you, I could not lie

looking back at every day
we were independent, no one else had a say

lust had came, and with that it left
my innocence was taken, for you were the theft

looking at you then was such a mystery
now I can read you, so that's all history

I do fully regret most of it all
but the one thing I'd just change is how willing I was to fall

down to my knees and to bow at your presence
I was foolish I say, I have learned my lesson

done with you, but also us
you mean nothing to me, you were no diamond in the rough

but you were the force which kept pushing me further
down a dark path, but yet that's where I found her

an angel who guided me into the light
I was saved, you lost the fight

sometimes I ponder if we were never
if that occurred I would not be so clever

so the tricks and lies you have passed down to me
I owe you no gratitude, and that now I see

without you I'm fine and I stand on my own
my wings have grown back and from your trap I have flown
Hummingbird Blue Apr 2014
Maybe the sky isn't above us.
Perhaps it's only our world's reflection.
For the sky is beautiful,
And so is life.
The clouds are people,
moving frantically around.
And maybe the sun,
Isn't what we think.
It could be outcome,
Of all our warm hearts put together.
Have you ever looked up,
And saw a cloud stand still?
That was you.
After all,
That rainbow you've been chasing,
Is your dream.
Hummingbird Blue Jul 2013
why hello there, who are you?
why wear a mask, why not be true?
do not question me, for this will make it hard
I am here doing a deed, don't play a guilty card
a guilty card, sir what ever do you mean?
are you here for a reason, are you here to hurt me?
I repeat, no questions. tis not fair
neither are those pretty eyes and long gorgeous hair
why thank you kind sir, it really means a lot
but really why are you here, and why do you hold that knot?
this is not a knot, this is a rope
its the only way out, the only way to cope
I was sent on a mission, to find a little girl
one with pretty eyes and long hair, one that lives in a whirl
so come to me, I will make it all better
slip this rope around your neck, and i'll lift you like a feather
excuse me sir but I don't understand
you came to get me, that was your plan
I do live in a whirl but I am strong
so that rope is not good, that rope is wrong
you come here, and let me hug you
take off the mask, please be true
you foolish child, don't you see
i'm no good, that's why the death lives in me
it is okay, I promise you this
don't live in death, because life is something you cannot miss
you make me feel different about what I do
did you do this on purpose? how can I trust you?
I may be young, but I am quite smart
come with me, we'll never be apart
okay I will live only for you
*I will remove my mask, I will be true
Hummingbird Blue Sep 2013
I cut last night
something I never do

now, anyways
I never cut

an old feeling came
I felt weak

nail digging didn't justify my emotions
I went for something sharper

a razor
5 blades

an arm is too obvious
I like to hide

I saw my hip bone
emerging from my skin

an invisible X lay across
waiting for me

I dug the razor in
pulled up quick

a chunk flew
blood surfaced

once more I dug
once more I bled

standing in the shower
water running down me

red
what I felt and what I saw

relief filled my mind
never regret

I began to smile
victory struck over me

maybe I will cut more often
I love this inner feeling

do not judge
or simply do not read

the pain brings the calm
it makes me feel free
Hummingbird Blue Jun 2013
it'll be okay, please don't cry
come here and let me wipe the tear from your eye

stop the foolish words from your lips
you don't mean them, you're better than this

right now may be tough but you will be alright
no need to waste your tears on one hard moment in life

he will be okay, stop the worry
you are the only one filled with such fury

no one will hate you, stop all that nonsense
for I do love you, never a past tense

for now and forever I will always be there
i ask you to smile because I do care

let it all go and you will see
you will not be alone, you'll always have me.
Hummingbird Blue Jul 2013
tears ; hidden in deep ponder
thoughts of the brain can make ones mind wander

destination is the surface
but a fight is always there

millions around
no one aware

truth screaming out from the inside
emotion is there, hard to subside

confusion, anger, worry, and love
pain is the outcome to all the above

depression, anxiety, regret is there too
always a reason, never something new

they hide, I hide ; something we share
what they don't know, won't cause a scare

but it does for me, I am the cause
life does this, I want to press pause

tired of the inside controlling my out
no one really knows what I think about

tears are the result of everything about me
nothing good to come from, nothing that is worthy
Hummingbird Blue Mar 2014
A gray may appear overhead
A light is not there
It will be cold they said
But inside I was more than fair

For I had you
My ray of sunshine
A warmth so true
Our hearts, intertwined

Stay with me
Be my forever
Be my sea
I will swim whenever

Kiss my lips
Embrace my soul
You are a rare eclipse
You’re a nice spring stroll

Every day with you
The best day ever
Our love is true
End; It will never
Hummingbird Blue Jul 2013
it has been nine days
**** that space

why have you not written
why leave me with a sad face

I do not understand
my life is a mess

your words keep me going
that is something I confess

nine long days
before I've seen your ink

is this okay to you
is that what you think

I know you are busy
but please find the time

I sit here while I wait
I try to find each rhyme

constant heaviness
falls upon my chest

when I go out to look
there is nothing left

a big pile of paper
nothing for me

not for nine **** days
it makes it hard to breathe

but I will be okay
I will keep up with the wait

I will be happy when you write
even though it is late
Hummingbird Blue Jul 2013
my past  is a blur
but of very clear scenes

something I will never forget
someone I'll never be

lies and excuses
came from my mouth

you may think you understand
but you don't know what my life was about

quietly walking
sliding the door open so slow

climbing the fences
my rebellious side began to show

hopped in a car
a prized one at that

black interior
leather seats is where I sat

sometimes on him
or maybe someone other

I laid myself across
never thinking of my mother

she was sick
she was dying

I was begging for attention at night
I spent over a year trying

drug deals I watched
bottles I drank

I was aboard a scary ship
one that was bound to be sank

drinking so much
the taste was good on my tongue

although so was his mouth
alcohol created so much fun

alcoholic, sexaholic
both very strong words

I fell within both
it was quite absurd

knifes and fights
stitches and blood

crawling through tight spaces
ruining clothes with mud

cops were the enemy
from them I always ran

afraid of my own self
welcoming any man

I started to get help
from close ones to me

they helped me out
they made me believe

throughout all of this
I am proud to say

i'm happy for my past
I wouldn't be who I am today

strong-willed, and responsible
upon my shoulders, a good head

always sticking to my word
never forgetting the promises I said

happy and calm
no longer someone wild

I have grown into a woman
not anymore am I a child

this may scare you
hearing about my past

but this was only a summary
the real thing doesn't go by so fast

I keep most of it secret
only myself will ever know

now happy and go lucky
i'll stick with this new flow
Hummingbird Blue Jun 2013
Tell me I'm smart
Tell me to never accept less than I deserve

Tell me I can do it
If I say, "I got it" .. tell me to make sure

Tell me I'm beautiful
Both inside and out

Tell me I'm perfect
Without a single doubt

Tell me I'm everything
Everything you've always wanted

Tell me I'm a woman
Not a little kid

Tell me I'm strong
Tell me I'm brave

Tell me if we were all in danger
I'd be the one you'd save

Tell me you want me
Tell me you need me

But most importantly of all
Tell me you love me
Hummingbird Blue Jun 2013
It is possible for there to be no dream
Far out, impossible and too rigid to climb is how it may seem

Full of danger, and only for the brave
The things that you dream become the memories that you save

Not a "what if" but a "when and what time"
Would be the only questions to ever come to mind

Giving up would not exist
More things would be scratched off a bucket list

If only perseverance was more than just a word
These dreams that we have wouldn't be considered absurd

They wouldn't mean anything
For a mistress to a wife

But all those complex visions we see
Would be the adventures of life
Hummingbird Blue Mar 2014
twists and turns
locks and keys
through the maze
an end not seen

searching high
searching low
you can try
but you'll never know

upside down
spinning in circles
mystery of a ghost town
too many hurdles

a place sometimes spooky
it is my mind
a brain never off duty
thoughts are undefined
Hummingbird Blue Mar 2014
I feel hurt
But I don't know why

My heart is heavy
Dark like the night sky

I want to cry
But I'm out of tears

Unfathomed words
Awaken are my fears

Why am I doing this
When will I learn

I am a disgrace
Nothing good will I earn
Hummingbird Blue Mar 2014
Oh lake, oh pond.
Oh small body of water.
You called for me today.
I heard you.
Thank you for your perfect timing,
For I was feeling miserable.

Now I sit here, before yours truly.
Your ripples are gliding.
Creating an illusion one can only see.
I see blue, I see green, and I see brown too.
I see life, I hear life, and I feel it the most.

Something quite refreshing.
I needed a break.
And how dandy you had a spot just for me.
Rustic look, a gritty feel.
Facing the beautiful you.
I see your guardians watching every move,
As they stand around you.

Swaying slowly.
For the wind is here too.
All of nature's creations have gathered together.
Thank you for inviting me.
I am truly grateful.

Oh lake, oh pond.
Oh small body of water.
You are so real.
I wish I could be you.
Hummingbird Blue Jun 2013
Hazy theme, with softened edges.

Scenery moving without warning.

Colors emerging while lines are widening.

A feel of quiet insanity is now present.

Slightly distracting, but incapable of taking over.

The world is no longer here.

I am no longer here.

All because you touched me.
Hummingbird Blue Feb 2014
Where is the sun?

Visible in the sky

Absent in the mind

Where is the light?

It is dark now

Where is the sun?

It is cold

Ice has surfaced

It is melting

Continuously

Never ending

Where is the sun?

I am drowning

I am being swallowed

The ice belongs to the darkness

I am prey

Have you seen my hero

The sun

Please find me the sun

The sun is happiness
Hummingbird Blue Feb 2014
You haven't felt this feeling
You wouldn't know

His hands; You haven't held
His lips; You haven't kissed

You haven't been on his high
You haven't been through his lows

For him; You haven't cried
You have not felt those fears

You don't miss the laughs
You don't know the excitement

You have not felt the pain
His eyes full of longing tears

His skin; Never on you
His heart; No ache for you

Your heartbeat does not speed
Not for him

When he is gone
You have nothing to go through

So why do you act that way
Like you know

Don't tell me how I feel
You have not been there

You are not aware
Why do you put on this show

He is my everything
Forever just us

Let us be
You wouldn't last

I love him and he loves me
Therefore you do not know

And that you can trust
Hummingbird Blue Jun 2013
last night should have been placed back a couple years
the old feelings were real but with brand new tears

anxiety with shakes is how it began
digging into my skin hard as I can

fear of the power that was taking over
welcoming the pain that was felt all over

ready to leave forever I sobbed my hardest
but something stopped me it felt like your kiss

on the back of my shoulder full of love and hope
I knew I could make it, I grabbed onto the rope

you pulled me to safety and spoke some kind words
the feelings I felt now feel quite absurd

you were physically absent but emotionally there
you saved my life, you made me care

— The End —