Some days, since it happened, are hard
Days when the grief decides to tap dance on your heart
Stomping over scabs and opening cracks and wounds
Just to remind you, on normal days, what once was
What you had and have lost

I pray for the grief to disappear
For my heart to be whole again
For everything to stop reminding me of you.

Some days.

I'd given you everything
My armour
All weapons
My money and clothes
To please you
To fight for you

But when the drums of war
Sounded
And you had to choose
You looked at me
Half naked, knelt before you
With nothing
But my heart to win

I thought you'd join my side
And be rid
Of your armour
All weapons
Your money and clothes
To fight for this with me

You held up your hand
Not a favour
But a flag
White

You'd surrendered
Before you'd even tried
And left me
Alone on the battlefield
With nothing

Two keys have two keepers
To a secret part of me
That they can unlock at their will
Even if I plead

One key is black onyx
But it glitters like gold
It's twisted like a tree root
Like a flytrap it unfolds

The other is sterling silver
Its handle's simple and straight
I feel its heat in my palm
As it calms my anxious state

The black key unlocks
My darkest mind and limbs
My body becomes alien
Overcome by its whims

The silver key unlocks
My soul's warmth and love
Emotion runs too wildly
In a safety undreamed of

Two keys have two keepers
To a secret part of me
But to find a keeper with the master
Is what I must try to believe

A wild storm
rolled out onto the sea.
Taking my boat
and discarding me.

I couldn't see.
Could hardly breathe.
What had happened,
I couldn't believe.

The waves hit against my
head and limbs.
I blacked out to try
and forget everything.

Deeper I sank
and there I would stay.
The storm forgotten
as my body decays.

But the surface calls
me to take a breath.
And face the sky
in the storms death.

The light came closer
and the surface I did break.
Neither sad nor relieved.
No expression on my face.

Not yet ready
to begin the swim.
So I float for now
and recall the dim.