if we are ALL the  ONE,
which part of the ONE are you?

i never drank to get drunk
but at times
i got drunk as i drank.

wondering why i drank...
i recall
a friend who never saw 44 at all.

Ft Lauderdale spring break
so pretty and sweet and petite
who could have ever seen
what a few
would eventually do
to you.

at least 3 rehabs
Betty Ford counting among them
you recounted how many
spoke of all the chardonnay
that finally got 'em.

at times i envied your easy life
or so it seemed.
new home,
new sheets and towels
bright white carpet and all.

successful husband
diamond jewelry
art on the wall
mercedes benz
and money too.

no worries about bills
to pay
jobs to get
love to find.

but i liked your VW beetle much better
and your painter's pants on you,
so chic and popular at the time.
your so sweet a nature
honest and true
generous and all.

blonde and adorable
the years took their toll.

i never knew the pain
you were going through,
you never told.

what an education
you did give,
when finally you
revealed
where you had gone,
where you had been.

tales of hidden bottles,
drinking on the sly,
hiding and covering
all of the lies.

the cops couldn't believe,
you could still be alive,
with a blood alcohol level
of 4 point 0.

how we grow strong,
build up the tolerances,
until they amaze and astound
each and even every one of us.

the years and the glasses,
caught up with you,
the first place you begin to bleed,
or so i learned,
when your liver goes  
and starts to harden
and your blood can't flow,
is through your neck and throat.

blood transfusions,
they
helped for awhile,
then one night.........

well one night...
that was all.

a cautionary tale...
for all you college bound...
you never know which one of you will be the one...
who never sees your next sun
the next sun's light.

you know it is over.
most assuredly
and most finally over.
that,
when their breathing,
simply that.
nothing more.
annoys you.

over the creek and through the woods,
a mower roars to life

shattering sweet morning silence with
sounds of this manmade hell.

little homeowner
lazy little **** or *****,

is your little patch
of manicured green
so important a sign
to ruin this sweet morn?

keeping up with the neighbors
buying into this artificial life.

never are you seen out
sitting about
in your little-manicured world
of green.

pesticides and trimmers
blowers and mowers
how i turn my eye with disgusted scorn

at the destruction
your convoluted idea
of beauty
has brought.

earplugs firmly inserted
windows and doors tightly shut

still i can’t help
but to cry out,
"why can’t you just
shut the **** up?!"

dark
solitude.

nocturnal creatures,
moon, stars
for company

still air
gentle breaths
summer's last gasps

the night speaks
i listen

in the silence
i can hear

movement
on a rock

little creature

with an intensely
blue tail

I
standing on the edge
of the abyss

dark chasm
choking my soul

complete utter
dark
void
of
flat
nothingness

II

standing on the edge
of the abyss

dark
silent
peaceful
alive
bliss
utter freedom

my heart
sings
my heart
dances

III

standing on the edge
of the abyss

jumping
falling
surrendering
letting go....

into
the Mystery
into
the Way

ever in,
and
ever not-in
the Tao

six bees
and a butterfly

a daddy long legs

...the neighborhood is improving.

morning hike
face full of spider webs

box turtle wanders slowly
through rain drops clinging
to parched earth and plant

puppy tongue laps
creek water
quenching thirst

tiny fish dart to and fro
frog leaps
with a big splash

steady rain
washing life away

silent
peaceful

soft
calm

content
deliciously divine

rain falling
on the moon
great ape washes

collecting raindrops
dipper of fresh water
thirst quenched

clock ticks
rain falls

night
summer

crickets sing
bullfrogs croak

red moon,
deep & sacred
ancient,
giver of life.

the bane of my existence
here
now
is
all of the incessant
noise.  

the city encroaches
ever outward,
gobbling up
the suburbs
like the great big
Blob

contributing
layer
after
layer
of noise.  

a new metro line
opened last year
disheartened
the morning

realized
it was the trains
i heard
as my puppy
and i
walked so early.  

trash trucks,
back up beeping noises,
leaf blowers,
mowers
and trimmers ...
all
conspiring
to drive me
mad.

the birds and owls,
snakes and deer,
hawks and rabbits
toads
and trees
and flowers,
puppies
all other creatures
divine,
tempering
this man-made chaos
this man-made
hell

keeping me hopeful
that
i
will
have some
respite
  

some respite
from this
hideous cacophony,
this man-made hell,
in the future,
not
too distant.

of course
there are
some benefits
from all
the city life

but i prefer
the silence
the solitude
of nature.


the Taoist recluses
who speak to me,
whose poems
paintings
writings
and silence
are balm
to my soul.  

some day soon,
i too
shall join
the recluses
far away
far far away
in the mountains.

but for now,
i am
only a modern day
taoist
recluse
stuck in suburbia,
doing my best,
living in this
noisy hell.

Little cardinal builds her nest
     amidst the bush next
          to the house.

Eggs laid.
     Wait.

Two babies hatch.
     Bald,
          eyes closed tightly.

Day by day they grow,
     Cheeping to be fed.

Between one afternoon and the
     next morning, one
          disappears.

What happened to you
     little baby bird?

Where did you go?
     ebb and flow…
          life and death?…

these mornings are to be quiet,
to savor the new beginning

these mornings are not to be wasted,
scurrying about,
rushing, hurrying

rushing, racing into the future
actions, thoughts

these mornings are to greet the new sun
wander in circles and spirals with your puppy so fun
following tracks laid by  the wild creatures
through the dark night

these mornings are to breathe
to stand still, feeling the deep pull
of mother earth
gravity, keeping this insignificant form from
floating away
up
far
away
into deep, black, silent space

these mornings are to marvel at the
ever changing landscape
colors shifting,
flowers,
leaves,
plants,
trees

these mornings are to listen to the hooting
of the owls
the song of the birds
no radios
no televisions
no computers
no phones

only the peaceful company of mother earth
her plants,
intelligent and sacred
her creatures,
wild and free
unfettered by schedules
imposed and artificial

following the Way
effortlessly,
serenely.

walking across
the damp grass
little acorns poke
the souls
of my feet
fall coming

walking across
the damp grass
little acorns poke
the soles
of my feet
fall coming

heron taking flight
alighting atop
a log
still, lean,
long, slender

bunny hopping
across the tire's path
close,
near miss

cardinal, red
flying low
and near
brushed
with
impromptu surprise

two deer
crossing
in front of
riding me
soft
velvet covered horns

meandering
across the street
slowly
and lazily
no rush

no where to go
no where to be
living the Tao

Star light, star bright
where is my puppy tonight?

dancing across the stars,
joyful and free.

Surfing the milky way
galaxy through galaxy.

turning the heavens upside down,
Cassiopeia now upturned into an M.

lapping from the dippers,
drops splashing all around.
settling here on the earth as fresh dew each morn,
or the gentle rain falling down.

pulling Orion's belt,
Orion with his sword held high,
chasing you around.

Laughing and leaping,
Ah to be so free and light.

racing the moon across the sky,
catching it each month with delight.

a new moon appears,
the chase begins anew.
chewing the old moon
until it disappears.

star light,
star bright ,
will you perhaps bring me another puppy when it is light?



*penned with much love for all those friends who so dear,
have left us here. ~ 29 December 2012