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Jan 2016 · 504
lost & wandering
am i ee Jan 2016
sorrow nibbles at the edges of my heart
deep love transformed again
sharp shards of unbearable pain
pop up here and there
all goes on as always
death changes one
each and every loss
polishing edges...

who will i be when this
grieving wanes?
Nov 2015 · 683
missing you all
am i ee Nov 2015
abducted by aliens
cried & cried
missed you all here

they poked & prodded
this doughy ***
tickeled it
making it laugh

laughing till crying
crying till laughing

so so tired
missed you all
they dropped me
back down on
my head

just last night
screaming with glee
screaming with pain

******* ole Martians
leave me the **** alone
& don't you be takin'
any of my friends

jes leave us the **** alone...

or we be kickin'
your skinny green martain
*****......
Oct 2015 · 638
3:11 am here
am i ee Oct 2015
time to
go outside
to sit in
the dark
to sit
in the silence....

you ride for me.
the yang
the sun...

here i sit for you
in stillness
the yin
the moon.....

together
we make
the ONE....
to honor my twin... across the sea...
Oct 2015 · 657
cold early hours
am i ee Oct 2015
cold rain
beat down

earth softens
bare feet
sinking in
cold wet
weeds
greener than
grass
softer
and natural

fur coats
running along

fox trots by
don't need your
pelt little friend
ones of
your family
living
eternally
watching
having  my back

great blue
heron
takes silent
flight

graceful
& majestic

soaring off

great great blessing....

no 2 leggeds
no beepers
no mowers
no blowers

deep cold mud
a delightful
quagmire
******* me
down
down down
down down
far below
into the ground

left alone
roaming the
night
the early
morn

just us
wee too

puppyhead
& me

SO solitary
SO free
am i ee Oct 2015
the ghost of
Elvis
continued
eating
and
stopping
and plopping.

they sure were
going
no where
purty
****
quick

thought the
big fat bus
with the
big fat
yellow bootay...

something needs to be done
and
lickety
quick.....

pondered the big
fat bus
with the BIG fat Yellow Bootay...
am i ee Oct 2015
cool rain falls,
Randall and the
manly cowboy
talk
drink
coffee

frolick about
in the rain
am i ee Oct 2015
in a land
sacred & high

boots march in
carrying guns

****** the land
destroying her soul

maroon robes
ignite to the night

huge yellow canoes
float out to the world

can you not hear
all our cries from here?
Oct 2015 · 642
cowgirls & stars
am i ee Oct 2015
riding like the wind
over desert so ancient
full moon above
three eyes on you

stallions Arabian
strong & powerful
thundering along
away from everyone

chatter & lights
receeding into the dark night
never looking back
leaving everyone

wandering in circles
laughing & leaping
eons of being
lapping at thee

night so long
don't let it ever end....
Oct 2015 · 523
Silence
am i ee Oct 2015
silence calling me i shall answer
6 words
Oct 2015 · 522
cold rain
am i ee Oct 2015
cold dark rain softens mother Earth
6 words
Oct 2015 · 424
unsettled chi
am i ee Oct 2015
too much motion unsettles the chi
6 words
am i ee Oct 2015
\ih-SPAHY-uhl\
noun
1. the act of spying.
2. the act of keeping watch; observation.

Quotes

The landlord of the house had not withdrawn his eye from this place of espial for five minutes, and Barney had only just returned from making the communication above related, when Fagin, in the course of his evening's business, came into the bar to inquire after some of his young pupils.
-- Charles Dickens, Oliver Twist, 1838
s
Origin
Espial is related to the word espy, which comes from the German word spähen meaning "to spy." The suffix -al forms nouns from verbs, as in the word refusal.
Oct 2015 · 390
Lost for a While
am i ee Oct 2015
got off the highway
for a brief rest
got lost for a while

made a mistake
made somebody
smile

got lost for a while

maybe the angels
really do talk
to you
through your
keyboard  &
stickers

but are you sure
it is not the
devil
& some
demons as
friends
that are
******* with
you

got lost for a while

****** around
wastin time
losing all
the fine
losing the
dime

got lost for a while

babies
and
puppies

i like em
best in
Real
life

cool fresh
rain
pouring down
over you
first iteration
of the
delusion
of you

got lost for a while

that is enough
but a few
keep
on
iterating
then
they **** with
that one
too

got lost for a while

happy sad
it all makes
it glad

got lost for a while

me,
think
i
******
care
confessional or true, what say YOU?
oh, where did my guns go?
the sig sours, and colts, the winchesters and kalishnakovs
the pistols, the rifels, the Ak 47s , and the SMAW
and that razor blade  shiny & sharp,
gosh, better get to the park
for that a fine crop of sweet hemlock
dom perignon
a silky nice thick rope,
huge cliff of yawning cavernous chasm
test driving the maserati
Sep 2015 · 291
who is ~ Otagaki Rengetsu
am i ee Sep 2015
Living deep in the mountains
I've grown fond
of the soughing pines -
on days when the wind is still
how lonely it becomes!

~  Otagaki Rengetsu
am i ee Sep 2015
dear lovely lady or kind sir,

my family has just come in to extreme, monumental good fortune, the likes of which amze the pope himeslrf and lama dolly too.

poor creidt have i thru sad mismanagement of funs, now big banks an capital cfompanies venturees, fail to reply to wll intentioned requestes for baluabel fund.s needed.

however, telegram did jyst arrive, my faimly na me so very very happy.
the sum is 100,000,000,000 dollars US with half more in pounds sterling...
currency calculator on blink... but we think this much scratch.

plesae be soknid if you will ,  i send you MY band account informaiton, then when funds come through you share with me?  you help us please?

sincerallly,
Miss A I r Head
this is based upon actual events.. the young woman was telling a true story, but no one replied.  so she and her hansome Manly Cowboy, with whom she had been happily reunited after a very long separation, whereby he too did strike it rich all on his own, returning home with only his devoted horse Randall and a little secret number tucked under his hat.

Oh yeah, he called her from his far off travels and gave her his bank account number to complete the deal, seeing as how he too was one broke bloke.

but that dear sweet loyal readers, it a story for another day...
enjoy yours, this one, right now, today!
Sep 2015 · 367
night giving to day
am i ee Sep 2015
i sit,

this night drawing neigh
the moon sets

the sun
begins rising high

i sit,

endless blends,
Yin & Yang  
yang & yin,

night & day
day & night,

sun & moon,

summer, winter
spring & autumn,

ever coming
again,
& again...

& again.....
neigh |nā|   ~  (this isn't the definition i wanted to find... but the word stays in... i like the way it sounds.... neigh ... like hi,  or high...
noun
a characteristic high-pitched sound uttered by a horse.
verb [ no obj. ]
(of a horse) make a characteristic high-pitched sound; utter a neigh.
• (of a person) make a sound similar to a neigh: they neighed dutifully at jokes they did not understand.
ORIGIN Old English hnǣgan (verb), of imitative origin; compare with Dutch dialect neijen .
Sep 2015 · 655
Crazy vs Eccentric -
am i ee Sep 2015
they will call you crazy
in your youth,

but eccentric in your old age,
if you work good at it!


me i'm going for ******* crazy now,
then ******* eccentric later.
how'm i doing so far?
oh ****, it is already later...
Sep 2015 · 604
Untitled
am i ee Sep 2015
the pope mobile,

it was something,

a parade of one man.


weather on the 1st day of fall perfect for a pontiff,

the pope in modern day Washington DC
am i ee Sep 2015
i'm so glad you like the frosted flakers...
my dear, my sweet lass,
i'm a doin my best to clean up my ***** moouth...' 


i gotta evicted in have to move to the poor house,
cuz i had to spend all of my money
on soap bars and it it broke me...
gotta clean up my little ***** mouth!!!

i can't come back until i make another fortune...
don't cry my sweet love,
i havn't fergottin' you

and i never, never will....

i'll be back..
as soon as i can ... lickety quick!

good night my sweet love,
my moon i gaze at each night
high in the stary heavens above!

p.s.  i like that manly plumber that stopped by to help you out.
we'll all have some fun when i *** back... he lookin' like he'd make
a good mate, but for now... i'm a happy that he is yer date...
good night my sweet mate date
i see that this brilliant write which is beginning to rival..that thar Shakes pear neet be put in pome lickety quick! : )) <3
Sep 2015 · 425
lucky lucky agent 99
am i ee Sep 2015
yesterday's chase
and confusion diminishing,

whew!  
made it out alive!

cool, beautiful soft morning
arrives

it truly is

a

HOKEY POKEY mother frosted flakers!

yes!

HOKEY POKEY mother frosted flakers!
you sweet little crunchy frosted flakers...

what say you?  any of my kind gentle loyal readers....
how's that for one fine Hokey Pokey... now don't y'all be hurtin'  my feelin's now by making funna me...  give it a day or two or so.... then let the games begin!   love to all... *~
Sep 2015 · 284
lucky agent 99
am i ee Sep 2015
how joyful it appears
to watch the numbers grow

but what about that day
when you really want to be

ALL aLONE?
please stay at 99.... that is a postive and managable ....
am i ee Sep 2015
why'm ah ma embarrassed by
you rgalumphin'?

wud i care what
yo luggage do?


that didn't work,

why am i embarrased by
your....insert word here with
proper tense and conjucation

why do i care about what other people think???

still not workin,

jes put
stinkin "galumph" in the sentence...
and see how it works?

~~en fin fer sure with this stinkin mess of poem
~~~~~ n ya'll better really like this... at least lie a little to make my tender heart feel the light..

sorry lil word you aren't stinky , well not quite yet.




\guh-LUHMF\
verb
1. to move along heavily and clumsily.
Quotes
It is at this point that one begins to feel embarrassed while other passengers galumph by with their luggage.
-- Stephanie Rosenbloom, “Flying Deluxe Domestic Coast-to-Coast for Around $1,000,” New York Times, January 23, 2015
Origin
Galumph is a 19th century invention from the mind of Lewis Carroll, and is perhaps a blend of gallop and triumphant
wise question posed to me at the young age of 14....and why did i?  oh i don't know... karma...samskaras?
Sep 2015 · 260
tears on the mac
am i ee Sep 2015
if you cry
and your tears
fall on your mac

do they harm it
or make it work forever?
Sep 2015 · 296
birthday reminder
am i ee Sep 2015
wander through
your
    day,
awash with wonder and
   delight,

at the ordinary.
Sep 2015 · 806
night's delight
am i ee Sep 2015
morning dawns
cool and fresh

the night
recedes

the magic that  is known
came for being alone

ahhhhhh
bliss
Sep 2015 · 673
hey you, yeah you! big boys
am i ee Sep 2015
hey you,
yeah you!

all you big boys
if you can't keep us with me

*** yourself right back
to your kitchen

fore it sho' nuff
needs one good
scrubbing
fore you
aready
to be out here
playin with ME!
am i ee Sep 2015
Dear kind gentle reader,

just a note to share with you
my wonderful day with you all,
truly the most extraordinary,
and most fun day we’ve seen
in a long while

far surpasses those
those wildly laughing
burning with heat so strong
i could have sworn it was
the time for me to depart
depart the beautiful world & life
for i swore it would not take too
long afore i would be in my grave
for all of the laughin
all that laughin taking
me to my grave

to return to this lovely & blessed tale,

a family of four walked by,
and stop to talk to bark &
talk with puppyhead,
then at me, 

wood wood
wood wood
a lot of that was a goin on

as they wandered on,
we lickety-split got our tether,
tethered together,
we ran out the gate,
to catch  our new found
little fun mates,

two little angels with
eyes so sparkling blue
and curls of honey blond hair,

and one little wild man,
loud and fast
of which nothing was scary,
but himself,
himself of
less than 3

and their large hulking
huge smiling giant of a man,
their wonderful papa

puppyhead and me
Wandered along with
our new friend pals
crissing and crossing
and
crossing and crissing paths

stopped at a magical spot,
hung and slid and swung
so we did
magic ***** and trees as tall
surrounding us all

on our jaunty way back
such happiness was sung

truly a magical day indeed.

as a special magical delight,
puppyhead and me
did discover, the answer to
the mowers and blowers
and beepers

three tinkling voices
chattering along,
mercifully drowned out all
the annoying stuff

dear reader
however, I must confess,
while these little darlings,
have come up with the remedy
to all of the ruckus

i’m a still gonna need
to *** me a new pair of ears
now
along with my new pair of eyes
and now even
more than ever
bless their loud singing
and chattering little hearts


farewell kind readers,
do not fret
for we shall be back
if not yet, then again
almost immediately

blessed blessed night to all….
from
my puppyhead & me
Sep 2015 · 552
Untitled
Sep 2015 · 529
stumbling on coincidences
am i ee Sep 2015
did i just stumble on a bunch of coincidences
or is something more at play

is it dark or is it light
i'm so lost here in the odd digital world

the moon kept calling me
but i kept answering you

my heart beating faster
becoming more scared by every minute

these black words come streaming out
through my eyes and into my heart

what is it doing to my soul?
after one very odd and wackily intriguing night
Sep 2015 · 579
the moon kept on calling me
am i ee Sep 2015
the moon kept on calling me
but i wasn’t answering

i miss you my sweet love,
my dear sweet friend
and our long soft moonlight chats

the moon kept on calling me
but i wasn’t answering

why have you forsaken me?
where fore did thou go?

the moon kept on calling me
but i wasn’t answering

i kept her waiting,
waiting through many a night
so long, so lonely for she

just one more moment
then i will be out, be out to join you
my dear sweet and loyal moon, my moon light friend

the moon kept on calling me
but i wasn’t answering

patiently as ever, for eons and more
she kept whispering to me
but i wasn’t answering......

as she slid quietly away
the moon kept on calling me
but i wasn’t answering…...

would i ever answer her,
ever again?
written on this magical & deliciously cool night of September,
after this kind Pope has now departed & the crickets keep singing...
i shall return soon, for i miss them too.

kind readers, any education you can give on how to use the languge attempted in the 4th pair of lines, would be graciously accepted with utmost thanks.

and i would have formatted the entire poem in italics, but i don't know how to do that in one swell swift move or two clicks, so i leave her this way... for i am too lazy to go in line by line... dear sweet Elliot, perhaps you will send an angel to whisper to me how to do this in my ear?

as a writer, i would like to be able to do this and just now i thought of trying to move it out, then back from another program, but i am not sure if that will work here and i'd rather keep on writing than get into a fight between software.
Sep 2015 · 594
My Cowboy Left me a Hurtin'
am i ee Sep 2015
my cowboy left me,
and i'm a hurtin'.

i'm a hurtin in a
real bad way,
in a hurtin' way.'

my neck is a aching,
i've got a case of
tunnel carpel,
and my new eyes
still have yet to
arrive in the mail.

i'm a hurtin real bad
and i'm a sad.

my cowboy left me
and i'm a hurtin,

i'm a hurtin' in
a real bad way.
~~~
Part of The Manly Cowboy Collection
am i ee Sep 2015
i have a sweet gal,
but we don't
talk
anymore,

i  still luv her
but i can't call
to tell her,
why
so suddenly,
i'm
so silent.

i didn't go
anywhere lil darlin',
the reason you
never hear
from me anymore
is

'cause we talked
so long
all night
every night
on
the telephone,

i don't have
no more
minutes left.

my sweet
lil' gal
used up all my
minutes,

and now i'm a
missing my gal,
every night
when i'm out a
drinkin' with
my pals

trying to drown
out that sorrow,

of not being able
to reach out to
her tomorrow,
to my sweet  
little gal.

that lil gal
she used up all
*of my minutes.
Part of the Manly Cowboy Collection
Sep 2015 · 1.7k
Crimson Ape Moon
am i ee Sep 2015
red moon,
deep & sacred
ancient,
giver of life

rain falling
on the moon
rain falling
on great ape mother

great mother ape
washes beneath
the crimson moon

raindrops flowing
down her massive
shoulders and back
great ape mother

eyes wet with rain
tears from the sky
mixing with
tears from the heart
her heart
so
large
Great Mother Ape
love  that  Great Mother Ape
and worship the Crimson Ape Moon
~*~
Sep 2015 · 939
snickersnee
am i ee Sep 2015
snickersnee
now that is one,
cute, little sounding word.

snickersnee,
snickersnee,
com'ere little,
snickersnee.

here little
snickersnee.

makes a right
fine
cute name.

but look it up,
yes, of course *
like i had to do,
whadda think,
i know anything?
yeah right!*

now let us turn to
SNICKERSNEE.....

i leave the rest of
this inquiry to you....

scrape, scrape
went the sharp blade,
the sound wafting,
through this
fresh, cool,
sweet,
morning air,
where the young
handsome
brave lad
was sharpening
his huge
snickersnees.






\SNIK-er-snee\
noun
1. a knife, especially one used as a weapon.
Quotes
The commander of the sloop was hurrying about and giving a world of orders, which were not very strictly attended to, one man being busy in lighting his pipe, and another in sharpening his snicker-snee.
-- Washington Irving, Bracebridge Hall, 1882
Origin
Snickersnee came to English in the late 1600s from the Dutch steken meaning "to stick" and snijden meaning "to cut."
did you catch that plural at the end sweet reader?
now tell me, what could that mean?
hee hee hee
am i ee Sep 2015
i'm gonna get me
a new set of eyeballs
too much readin'
n writin n stuff

can't proofread
worth a dam
gotta go live my life
not set here n write

now i got me's
a little nut
and she writes
not so slow

i ain't much
fer words
likin the
sound of silence
myself

but this little
new nut
she's kinda a
cute little darlin

so with my eyes
whirling in despair
i slog forth
until they can
be repaired.

i gotta get me
a new set
of eyeballs,

one new set of eyeballs
i'm gonna get
me.
hey if anyone can bring in the cowboy accent to make myself with a spelling that reads the way i am hearing it in my head that would be fantastic.

sound like maa self, i am open to suggestion.  i hear it but haven't read much of it, so i know i'm off with the spellings that convey the accent.  thaneee
Sep 2015 · 356
Red Hearts Make My Day
am i ee Sep 2015
'Go ahead
make my day!' said
what's his face,
in what's that movie?

pointing his
.357 magnum
at the fellow
lying on the
ground,

he didn't flinch.

but when you send me
beautiful red hearts,

i smile really big
and YOU
make my day!
thank you, you know who.
and i know it was a .44

for even more fun... read through the comments...
Sep 2015 · 2.3k
mind settled in mind
am i ee Sep 2015
mind
settled
in mind,

attains peace,
attains stillness,
attains contentment.

mind
settled
in mind,
her own Self.
VI.20. YATROPARAMATE CHITTAM NIRUDDHAM YOGASEVAYAA;
YATRA CHAIVAATMANAA'TMAANAM PASHYANNAATMANI TUSHYATI.
am i ee Sep 2015
when it is
my final time,
i make it here
clear.

for my first choice
my wish,
is to go like
all the critters we see,
lying in the woods,
enjoying a last
long, lingering
Final look.

this body
once warm
slipping into
Mother earth
in its very own
time.

second way
i'd like,
is to go like
the
ancient Zoroastrianism
practitioners
did do.

or the monks
high among the
peaks of the
snow covered
Himalyan peaks
of Tibet
once so
Free.

i'll take a hot
firey burning
if that is what you
must do.

mixed in thoroughly,
with those of
my puppyhead
and her magficient
ancestors.

fling theses ashes
high overhead,
while the winds
are blowing
strongly along.

hike to the top
a high and lonely
peak,
open the little
baggie of plasticky.

release these ashes,
of us who loved
each other  So,
to ride the winds
forever together,
throughout all of 
eternal time!
changed ending - deleted humor lines.
i really like the way it feels now to me.
peace
am i ee Sep 2015
dark cool morning,
just now, just this Fall,
early gentle rain falls.

stepping onto wooden deck,
the souls of these feet are,
cooled
and  
thirst quenched,
by you
oh, beautiful,
gentle rain!
am i ee Sep 2015
when it is
my final time,
i make it here
clear.

for my first choice
my wish,
is to go like
all the critters we see,
lying in the woods,
enjoying a last
long, lingering
Final look.

this body
once warm
slipping into
Mother earth
in its very own
time.

second way
i'd like,
is to go like
the
ancient Zoroastrianism
practitioners
did do.

or the monks
high among the
peaks of the
snow covered
Himalyan peaks
of Tibet
once so
Free.

i'll take a hot
firey burning
if that is what you
must do.

mixed in thoroughly,
with those of
my puppyhead
and her magficient
ancestors.

fling these ashes
high overhead,
while the winds
are blowing
strongly along.

hike to the top
a high and lonely
peak,
open the little
baggie of plasticky.

release these ashes,
of us who loved
each other  So,
to ride the winds
forever together,
throughout all of 
eternal time!

but,

i make it here
most perfectly clear,
under no circumstances
are you to be flushing me
down some ubiquitous
suburban
toilet!

for that one i promise,
for this you
may be sure!
i will  long
hang around,
haunting you,
every time you,
poo or ***!

RIP rip rip
inspired by the little tooth lying in the sacred dumpster behind the dentist's office, which is filled with implements of magical modern dentistry!
Sep 2015 · 352
cool rain on fall night
am i ee Sep 2015
rain falls
on parched earth.

fall
a majestic season
quiet and retiring.

year winding
down
to an ending.

no cause for
loud call.

rain falls
gently and
coolly
on dried
fallen leaves.

words need
not be spoken
nor written
for it only
gets in the
way of
knowing
the ONE.

free from
gossiping and
interpreting,
fall
quiet and
deep
keeps quiet
to herself.

true magic
real mystics
only act
for themselves.

devil may care
but sweet mother
nature never
despairs

an unending
cycle
end and
beginning
unknown

why bother
your little mind
with questions
forever unknown.
sleep well, rest deeply in this oh so funny living hell....
am i ee Sep 2015
Pay attention!
rap rap
said the big fat bus,
with the big fat bootay.

i say
i have something
to say
to you!

a wee bit of advice to you
you so sweet
young lasses
out and about
on hot summer nights
in camaros
and vans
and pintos
and mustangs.
and mom's
station wagon's.



# 1
when that eager
young lad's hands
are a crawlin' all over
you.

yes YOU missy,
your sweet nubile
young territory,

the time will come
when you shall
want all these
shennanigans to
STOP!

so i give to thee
some wee
words of advice.

#2
Be firm with your delivery.
Do not waver.
Strong even voice,
increase volume if
necessary.

to the
Kind sir,
the,
young lad..

say!

i do not beg you,
i command thee ...
be sure to understand!
keep those roving
hands to thyself.

for you can
rest assured,

this playground is closed!

this is a no nookey zone!

#3
blue *****,
you claim,
they are a ailing you?

for you i give
this sound advice,

say!
introduce yourself
to your right hand,

and ifn' you be a wantin'
a menage eh of three,

invite
your,
left hand
to
come along!

#4
Be firm and be sure,
you are sitting on
a sacred fortune of gold,
don't let them
miners be gropin'
around,
be a gropin'
you.

it is only for you
to sacredly unfold
your divine
femininin-ess.

if you want to do it,
do it...
but search your heart long before you do.  
at least think you are in love
before taking the plunge.

first loves are sweet
and last long
in hidden recesses of
mysterious minds.

take your time,
30 and more,
is the age
we big fat busses
with big fat yellow bootays
come into our own.

no rush.
nowhere to go.
all the time in the world to get there.
there is,
i assure you,
no rush.
am i ee Sep 2015
meanwhile,

the Big Fat Yellow Bootay
was getting right tired of
waiting for the election to end.

so,

she set off down the highway
going ninety five...

"HOKEEEY POKEEEY!" she cried
as she gunned the engine and
threw herself in gear.

"HOKEEEY POKEEEY!  MOTHER *******!"
twice she cried,
"HOKEEEY POKEEEY!  MOTHER *******!"
this second time
for extra good luck
with the unfolding election.

cool Fall breeze caressed
her yellow metal,
her big fat yellow bootay,
a glorious day to
be out on a drive!

well, except where she had
come from.

beep beep
beep beep
always driving her
beep beep beeping insane!

it shore nuf was quiet
out this way!

she turned the shiny
silver dial to turn on the
radio.
'gonna have to get me
some better speakers
one day soon.' she thought
to her big fat bus self.

and what came out blasting?

"That's Alright Mama,"
by who else?
but the King!
Elvis!

Elvis has left the building
and now,
Elvis is ON THE BUS!

she didn't quite know all
of the words,
but what the ****,
she sure could sing!

As the big fat bus
with the big fat bootay
was driving along,
singing joyfully,
she glanced in the rear
view mirrow and what
did she see?

why the ghost of Elvis himself
was sitting right there
right in the back of the bus.

He starts strumming on his
own guitar and singing,
'that's alright mama.."

so she turned off the
radio to listen
to the ghost of
the King,
Elvis,
himself,
singing in the back
of her big fat yellow bootay!

she also watched him eating
a lot of food
in the back of the bus,
her bus.

his ghostly figure
seemed to
fluctuate between fat Elvis,
and skinny Elvis,
like a seesaw.

by and by
says he,

(not the really fat one
but not the really skinny one
neither.)

'I need a pit stop.'
says the King

so the big fat bus,
with the big fat yellow bootay,
asks,
asks she,
'you wanna stop at the next
stop & go,
or
the next
fizz & wizz,
or
my fav if you really
need a constitutional,
the stop & plop?'

at this particular junction in time
this ghostly King,
was in the shape
of Fat Elvis
but very cooly outfitted,
bellbottoms and rhine stones
or were those all diamonds?

note to self,
the big fat bus
squirreled away,
check on that.
are those real or not?
more mulha is always
good
and this just might
be mana from heaven
in the form of Elvis the KING
himself
and maybe just one
of those diamonds
will fall out and
get lost in me.'

mighty strange happenings
going on around here in this
big fat bus
with the big fat yellow bootay.

' the stop and plop little mama,' elvis replied
with that
ohhhh,
soooooo,
divine Elvis drawl
and that darling little
thing he did with his mouth,
but was doing now
as he was sitting there in the
back of HER big fat bus
with HER big fat yellow bootay!

OH MY,
it really is a
HOKEY POKEY day!  she sighed.....
dear reader, i must admit, this is sounding even strange to me... it must be the stress of the election, so please pardon me.  and a very good night to you.
am i ee Sep 2015
hey you!
yeah you!

i say,

i want to create
a collection
called '******* gems'
because of this poem.  

http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1400754/sick/

i LOVE that phrase!

so i say,
or said to me,

i shall ask your advice.
kind reader,
will that offend?

... i'm thinking it will,
... so i best not.  
what do YOU think kind reader?
should i?
should i not?  

i guess the requirement
to join the club would be
that the piece must contain
at least
one time,
my favorite
******* word.

so i say!
what do
YOU
say?

OH and just thought
it must be nice
or funny
or nice & funny!

oh and
or
romantic...

no icky works
will be accepted.

read the gem
from which
the collection wishes
to spring.

eagerly awaiting your
replies,
your friend,
i hope,
the big fat bus
with the Big Fat Yellow Bootay.

(oooo... should i edit that to read
with my favorite word in between
Fat & Yellow?)

i bid you adieu,
sweet quiet morning to you,
kind reader...

...have adventures ahead
between now
and next time we meet.

that puppyhead needs her a walkin...
and you are seeing what treasures those net
each morning.

someone somewhere must
brush teeth,
scrape tongue

... ah ****,* i best make this a morning piece
and you kin read it thar,
so here it is.

* and NO, that was not written to mean
and poo!
as part of the morning constitutional.
it was an exclamation...
explaining is exhausting...
from the whole gang MC, BFB with the BFYB, PH, LAN

and seriously,  it is a serious question... do not delay taking pen to paper, i shall read each and every reply!  thank 'e much!
am i ee Sep 2015
meanwhile,
back at the ranch,
.....or hacienda or suburban condo,

the young suburban ma'am
was weeping, 'n cryingn  'n sobbing,
having thrown herself down on her
soft, velvet covered chaise lounge.

"where are you Manly Cowboy?"
she wept
"wherefore did thou go?"
"whyfore have you doth forsaken me so?"
"in my hour of need?"

Boo hoo hoo hoo

the wailing was reaching a rather
intense volume,
so much so,
that,
soon,

there was a knock at the door.

wiping her tears from her
bright red swollen eyes and cheeks,
with her delicately embroidered
handkerchief,
her long white gosling robed gown
trailing her as,
she went to the door.

opening it,
what did she see?

but standing there,
there stood,
the,
most,
handsome, tall,
muscular man
of a manly plumber
she had ever seen.

said he,
"i couldn't but help to be
overhearing
your pitiful wails.

and i thought you might
need some help.

anything i can do to
assist you ma'am?"

WELL...
thought she,
this is the best iimprovement
in many a long day,
since the Manly Cowboy
had gone away.

"yes, you can" replied she
"would you like to come in
and take a cup of tea
with me?"

......not so fast,  
we're not done
with this one.

"certainly, i would" replied he,
"and, well, ma'am, if it isn't any
trouble for you,
i'd really prefer something
a little stronger,
per chance, do you have
any beer?"

"why yes i do." says she

"cold?" asks he

"as a snowball in hell." she replied

the manly plumber strode in,
his tools jangling about
his firm hips and strong legs.

excusing herself,
she went to the kitchen and
opened up two beers.

pouring one in a tall glass,
over ice,
she poured an eighth of the other
into another
and finished filling it up
by adding warm water
from the tap.

she did this to prevent herself
from getting too tipsy
as she was dehydrated from
all of her crying.

out she walked,
two tall glasses
in hand,
she handed one to him
and looked over the other.

the first shy smile
her sweet face
had seen in a while,
began creeping up.

since,

now? who had gone???

the manly cowboy
lying on his back
of some foriegn land,
looked up and
saw a star twinkling
high in the sky,
and he smiled.
as is readily apparent the suburban ma'am has no clue about forth and fort and doths, but she was finding out that simply by adding a 'th' to her travails, it sounded SO much better.

Oh and ....if you have a hankerin' to read from the beginning... see the Collections,  The Manly Cowboy & Chronicles of a Big Fat Yellow Bootay
Sep 2015 · 593
Exactly as You Are
am i ee Sep 2015
"i guess i will just have to accept you
exactly as you are."

once it was said,

they both
were
set free.
Sep 2015 · 1.2k
Sunrise Sunset
am i ee Sep 2015
sunrises, sunsets
living in harmony with Mother Nature,
moving in harmony with the seasons.

electronic sunsets setting earlier,
electronic sunrises rising later.
a peaceful way of life.
Sep 2015 · 2.5k
autocorrect
am i ee Sep 2015
when the oh, SO smart phone
writes,

puppyhead barks,

wood! wood!
am i ee Sep 2015
“HOKEY POKEEEEEEEY!"

"HOKEY POKEY MOTHER *******!"

cried the big fat bus as she sped away.

the young brave
looked up  

"it’s not hokey pokey
you moronic big fat bus
with the big fat yellow bootay

"It’s H————“

but the big fat bus
with the big fat yellow bootay
couldn’t hear him
with the wind in her ears
and the nobel battle cry
ringing through her yellow grill
as she sped away.

and with that,
the handsome young brave
returned to the task at hand
sharpening his very,
very,
large blades,
very,
very,
slowly.
if you have a hankerin' to read from the beginning... see the Collections,  The Manly Cowboy & Chronicles of a Big Fat Yellow Bootay
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