Dear you , I hope you know that to love you I gave up a lot to an extent that I broke myself a little to love you , to extent that I want to make sure that you're fine all the time even when I'm having hard time .

Dear you , I hope you know that I'm not actually this annoying but because I love you that's why I'm like this .

Dear you , I hope you understand that I'm a little insecure all the time because my biggest fear is losing you .

Dear you , I hope you understand that I'm this protective because I can't bear to see anyone hurting you , I'd protect you even if it means to take my life away .

Dear you , I hope you will love me like how I love you too . It's not too much to ask for or maybe a little too much to ask for .

Dear you , I'm your person and I hope that you're entirely my person too .

Dear you , I'll choose you everyday , I'll love you more and more everyday , I'll do my best that I can just to see your smile .

Dear you , I hope you know that I love you ,  more than I love myself .

Dear you , I hope , I just hope that you'll never go like what you've promised .

Dear you , I'll never give up on you no matter how tough things get .

And lastly , dear you , I love you .

Which is worst ?
To break a heart or get your own broken ?
To destroy a soul or get your own destroyed ?
I don't know which is worst ,
To love someone and then get yourself destroy ,
Or to destroy someone whose only intention is to love you .
Then I realise , maybe it's better to just fall asleep than to fall in love .
Love is never simple though it sounds easy ,
But love , is a strong word and also a strong feeling that can make you destroy yourself and others .

It's true ,
being able to feel everything deeply ,
is both a blessing and a curse ,
because being able to do that ,
made her think a lot ,
at the same timing ,
she's a over thinker too .

Having so much thoughts in her mind ,
but not knowing who to talk it out to ,
she chose to bottle it up .

Fake smiles ,
fake laughters ,
white lies ,
it all started coming out ,
day by day ,
she's dying slowly ,
on the inside .

All she could do was to swallow all the emotions ,
feeling useless and helpless .

She tried .
She tried daily ,
With a fake smile on her face ,
Thinking that she could deceive everyone ,
Including herself ,
That she's happy .
But when it comes down to 3am in the morning ,
She realize she couldn't deceive one person ,
And that's herself .

They both thought that they would end up together  ,
They both thought that they will never get over each other ,
At the end of the day , they both ended up with someone else .

This ending was unexpected , but it was a happy one .

No one was left behind nor hurt .

She thought she could do well even after losing him ,

But guess what .

Haha she's wrong .

It isn't about what makes you smile during the day time .

It's about what hits you at 3am in the morning making you feel like you ain't good enough for anyone .

~ W.X ~

There's nothing to be fear of .

As something that I have feared most ,
Already happened .

Him leaving ,
Him loving someone else .

~ W.X ~

Everyone thought she was actually strong enough to get over him .

What they didn't know was that ..

The smile on her face that they saw everyday was a smile that she faked .

How many times had she wanted to break down when the slightest flashback of him appeared on her mind .

How every night all she wanted was to die and be away from this pain , this torture .

No one could understand her feelings ,

No one knows what's on her mind .

She remain silent and slowly ,
She's turning into a monster ,
That she could rarely recognize who she is .
She was no longer the one that gets her heart broken by someone ,
But in the other way round ,
The heartbreaker .

~ W.X ~

" the most unexpected relationship was the best one "

That's what they said and it's true .

He appeared in her life and loved her at the most unexpected timing .

He was what everything she wanted ,
But she left in the end ,
Because she wanted for more  ,
It's a fact that humans are greedy .

She thought he would never stop choosing her ,
She was wrong ,
When she wanted him back ,
She didn't realize that he was long gone .

There's no turning back , only full of regrets .

~ W.X ~

" I wouldn't leave unless someday you cheat on me , or do something that is unacceptable " that's what he said .

At the end of the day , it wasn't her who cheated , it wasn't her who has done anything wrong , it wasn't her who left .

It was him .
She thought that she could have him belonged to her for long time ,
She even made plans for their future .
It was unexpected ,
It was a harsh reality that she had to accept .
That he left .

~ W.X ~

Every time she knew something happened to him ,
She wanted to give him a call or a text ,
Wanting him to know that life might be tough ,
Things might not go his way ,
But it doesn't matter what happens ,
She just wanted him to know that ,
She would be there for him ,
Through his happiest moments of life ,
Or through his darkest moments ,
She then realize ,
He doesn't belong to her anymore ,
He belongs to another her now ,
Everything has changed
And he left long time ago ,
Before she could even realize that it happened .

~ W.X ~

' Find someone new ' , that's what they said .
But they never know that , whenever I found someone new ,
No matter how much the other party puts in effort ,
It doesn't feel right ,
Because the he that was there ,
Wasn't the he that I wanted ,
He was one in a million ,
And he left .

~ W.X ~

I tried forgetting you ,
Forgetting how you would say ' hello '
Forgetting how you smell ,
Forgetting how you tease me ,
Forgetting how you would hug me at the most random times ,
Forgetting how you would actually hug me so tight that I couldn't breathe ,
Forgetting how you would kiss me so hard that I didn't know whose air im breathing ,
Forgetting how you would hug me to sleep ,
Forgetting how you would cook for me at the most random hours when all I say was ' I'm a little hungry '
I want to forget everything about you ,
Forget all the moments we had ,
I then realize I'll never be able to do that ,
That was because ,
You're one in a million .
Sadly , you've forgotten me within seconds .
Like I was nothing ,
While to me ,
You were everything ,
That I want to remember .

~ W.X ~

It's a hopeless love ,
That's what everyone said ,
She didn't believe it ,
Believing that everything will turn out how she want it to be ,
Hopelessly hoping that everything would work out fine ,
Mama told her to chase her dreams ,
Her dreams was that hopeless love with him ,
She kept chasing and chasing ,
She then realize it was a endless run ,
Heading to nowhere ,
He would never change for her ,
To be exact ,
He would never love her ,
Like how she loved him ,
This love was indeed what everyone said ,
A hopeless love .

~ W.X ~

She's lost in her own world ,
Ever since he left unexpectedly ,
She needed help ,
But that help that she needed is something that is never going happen ,
It wasn't a ordinary help wanting everyone to be there for her ,
It was from him and only him ,
By coming back and tell her ,
' Everything is going to be fine , I'll be here for you no matter what '
It was something that is never going to happen ,
But day by day she's still hopelessly hoping that someday ,
He will come back and fix everything .

~ W.X ~

Most of the nights ,
She tried to make herself drunk ,
To enjoy night life ,
Just so she could forget everything
For that little while ,
She then realize ,
Making herself drunk ,
Only makes herself remember
Every single thing that he once did for her ,
All the moments they once spent together ,
She felt despair ,
Not knowing what to do ,
Being an alcoholic ,
Doesn't solve much of her sadness .

~ W. X ~

He left ,
At the most unexpected timing that she didn't expect it to happen .
She thought ,
She could get through it someday ,
She thought ,
Everything will be fine ,
She thought ,
She'd be able to move on well ,
She thought ,
Meeting new friends ,
Having a new life filled with colours ,
She'd be able to do fine .
She thought ,
He appeared after years ,
She was wrong .
She wasn't able to move on after all ,
What she thought ,
Was what she's lying to everyone ,
To herself .

~ W.X ~