I don't miss you
I miss how I felt with you
So in control of my own destiny
We laid our plans out like fresh concrete
But you didn't wait
For it to dry
And that's why there's a big footprint
In my sidewalk

i keep telling myself
i am strong
and i am over you.
but i see pictures of you and her and
it breaks me down each time
and i'm reminded how weak i am
but as i look back,
i can't remember one time you made me feel strong
that's what love is
isn't it?
strengthening each other and empowering one another?
so i guess it's good you left my weak and feeble soul

when i smell the salt in the air and hear the waves crashing on the shore i feel your presence. you are in every cloud in the sky and in every molecule of rushing water. you are the sun beating on my back. you speak through the kind passer-by waving hello. you are in my mother telling me to watch for jellyfish and my sister begging to play frisbee. you are the sand between my toes and the salt on my lips. you are everywhere. you are present. you are now.

you've allowed your walls to be built so high
they started growing ivy
and although there's beauty in those vines
i'd love to see the gardens blooming within

i handed you my heart with eager eyes
you gently hold it and it feels warm
(i think it's love)
you start to grasp it more firmly so it hurts
(i think it's discipline)
and you squeeze and you squeeze
until it shatters in your palm
(i thought it was an accident)
but you just brush your hands
down your faded old blue jeans
(the ones i picked out)
and walk away.
when it finally hits me,
what you did
i laugh
because although you crushed me,
you have remnants of me embedded in your hand.
when i finally begin to pick up the pieces
i see your rugged, callused hands extend once more.
not a scratch, not a scar.
i gathered all i could
but you will always have parts of me
down the the sides of your faded old blue jeans.