an insomniac's pleasure,
a dying man's wish
to hear the voice of her,
the one thing they both miss;

whether love left quiet,
or love once lost
they'd do anything to hear it,
no matter the cost

while her voice would bring the dying man peace,
i doubt it would bring the insomniac sleep
she is but one of the dying man's wishes,
while she is what the insomniac misses;

so while the dying man dies,
and while the insomniac lies awake
one heart stops;
and another heart breaks.

Numerous thoughts incline toward me
Each carries a unique motion
Each tries to build upon another demolition
Leaving me with confusion
Led by a multitude of ecstasy
My head branches like the ****
As Brownian as smoke of hash inside and out
No rescue arrives till I’m out, ****** with doubt
And I willingly lose it all
Forgotten, pampered, hit and hurt with the fall
My demise, my nirvana, my mokhsha
Are they all just myth
Or parts of a great equation not with a logical accord?
The dream does not stop here
As I decide to climb higher and higher.

Breath hot,
Face speckled,
I braided your hair
Like wheat in a dust storm.
Your shoulders,
In a position of melancholy.
Not from a loose tooth,
Not from spilled milk,
But from a notch in the chest.
Just below the breast bone.
Soon there was thunder,
There was a pounding rain.
The weather was unpredictable,
Just like the seasons,

These days.

But if anything,
This told me.

It was not my turn to cry.

You think you know me as I walk down the street.
You notice the sway in my hips, the way I dress, and the fast but even steps I take.
Then you do it, you try to take me down, based on stereotypes and your lack of knowledge.

“Hey ****” you yell, trying to rip me down, make me worthless.
“How much are you, I wanna take you home with me” Trying to buy me, make me your toy.

You don’t realize how bad you want it, you want to see the prize hanging between my thighs, and you want to feel the gentle sway of my semi-plump *** as I ride to the beat of your satisfied moans. You want to feel the hard curves of my body, and see the ***-crazed look in my eyes.

You want me because I emit confidence, and you see me as this concept, this thing that you cannot reach. You, the straight, privileged man, then try to tear me down because I am a concept you want but cannot have.

But Darling, I am untamable, uncatchable, and to confident to be taken down by your remarks. I am attractive, intelligent, ****, and know how to flaunt all that I have, and if I don’t have something then I go and get it. You let your fear hold you back. You try to bully others to feel the same. Knock me down all you want, because you’re really mad that you can’t take me to your bed.

I tried to talk to you to ask you why
To find why you told me goodbye
Why am I so stupid and useless
Why can't I be more selfless

Will I ever know why we died
Will you ever tell me you tried
Or that is was me that I failed
Just tell me this ship has sailed

Did you mean it do you hate me
Or is there something I don't see
Am I really that imperfect to you
I would try and fix it if only I knew

So I could stop crying in my room
Praying roses don't start to bloom
Fed by tears rolling down my cheeks
Did you hate because I was weak?

One must be brave to live through  
a day. What remains
is nothing but the pleasure of longing—very precious.

Longing
purifies as does flying, strengthens as does an effort,  
it fashions the soul
as work
fashions the belly.

It is like an athlete, like a runner  
who will never
stop running. And this
gives him endurance.

Longing
is nourishing for the strong.  
It is like a window
on a high tower, through which  
blows the wind of strength.

Longing,
Virginity of happiness.

I went to the chip shop yesterday and ate a year off my life.
They have fried everything there.
Fried macaroni and cheese and fried pizza.
Fried snickers bars and fried twinkies.
I know the stuff if murdering my heart,
but I'm too old to care anymore.
Some things are worth it.