around this time last year
i lost myself
somewhere in the snow outside
there are pieces of me, im sure

and my tears probably still lie
on that black fleece sweater
with the drawstring pulled out

bone is bone is bone
is bone.
my hands are forever too tiny,
my hips forever too big,
and you forever the girl
who’s always wanted to leave.
when we first met you talked of
hating the palm trees seventy degrees
traffic clogged grit and smog,
graffiti covered rat sewers
mansions dotting all the hills
and everything else i’ve ever loved.
i reminded myself that some people
need more than a place with
hundreds of stars on the sidewalk
but hardly any in the sky.
when i think of superpowers
i imagine being strong enough
to carry manhattan to you on my
shoulders and all your rain clouds
in my arms.
if you ever turned fragile i would
arrange a fortress out of skyscrapers
big enough to cover all the hills,
and with tiny hands i’d point
to the clouds and make them fill
the sky outside your window;
white as bone, as bone,
as bone.

Castles and kings collapse
Leaving them to sift through
The wreckage of the apocalypse

Armies are cut to the ground
Painting with sanguine swords
A silent world where there is no sound

The red sun begins to set
As doors close on this world
Leaving the corpses God forgets

The little girl runs to her mother,
“Mommy, mommy!”
Wails and wails.
“What’s wrong sweetie?”
“I lost Mr. Snuffles.”

Searching to and fro,
Time and time again,
Nothing is found.
“Don’t worry sweetie, we’ll get another.”
The comfort is futile.

Emotions downcast,
She strays away.
The images
Are vivid in her mind.
The serenity
Found in a simple plaything.
The joy
Found in a loyal friend.

The walls are transcending to grey.
The hallways stretch on for miles.

Her room is desolate and defeated.
Children posters shrivel up and fall.
Toys are melting into the ground.

Staring off into the horizon of her window
Trees are blowing ashes in the wind.
The night sky falls down upon her.

She makes a slight turn and sees it,
A slight nudge of hope
Shining from corner of her bed.

Energy is surged into overdrive.
As she rushes forward
A single bird takes flight
Depicting a reason of happiness.

Squeezing little hands
Between bed and wall
A piece of her heart
Is found again.

She clutches it to the center of her chest.
A vow to never let go.

Blurring light is beginning to shine.
Color is returning to the eyes
Of a young girl.
Trees are sprouting from the ground
Again.

All sorrow is forgotten.

I ran into a
wall cloud. (I think
I broke it open.)

A funnel fell
from the bottom
upon a farmhouse
in Oklahoma

spread across
an open field -
a mile wide

swallowing the
pasture in one
gulp -

and tossed golf
***** from the top.
(Like snow in August)

There were
no
survivors.

I could say I understand
and I do say "I understand,"
with my Oscar winning voice
with my imploring eyes that ask you
for more, while subtly looking, at your crusted scars
I imagine some catatonic feline, curled
in your gut, waiting stoically to make the next cut
the next surgically precise silent scream
joined by other equally ferocious growls
that only you can hear, if you are lucky enough for them
to drown out the howls of your heaving heart
I can say "I know what you feel,"
you with your sacred steel
I can wipe the blood from your thighs
I can smell the stale silence of your cries
all the while looking through your soaking soul
mercilessly forgetting, your slicing red chants,
were meant to awaken a deaf mute world

A RAY OF LIGHT IS WHAT HER VOICE.
It BRINGS IN TONIGHT,
BUT MISSING THE BREEZE THAT TOUCH
HER CHEEKS.........NO CRY, NO LAUGH, NO TEARS.

SHE IS SEARCHING IN THE SHADOW.
THAT LIMITS THE HORIZON,
UNKNOWN TO HER SOUL.
AND IN HER SORROW, BREATHING WITH DIFFULTY,
MOISTERING HER DORMANT LIPS, SHE MUMBLED....
..........................................WHERE ARE YOU?

BEGGING TO HER SILENCE, HOPING TO HAVE THE ECHO,
HER HAND POUNS  ON HER BREAST, SWIFTLY EXCLAIMS.
.....................................DOES YOU DWELLS IN ME?
SLOWLY RAISING HER HEAD DELIRIOUSLY, SHE, FAINTS AGAIN!

IN HER SUDDEN DREAM SHE, PAINTS  AGAIN A TEXTURE
CONNECTING A TORRENTOUS FEELING,
OF HER SOUL AND THE FLESH, PORTRAYING HER VOICE,
IN AN INTIMATE FINALE OF LOVE!

Mario J. Martinez (c) 2010
mario.juvenal@yahoo.com

middle of the night
woke to find you absent
in the permeating darkness
broken only by red embers
shadows of smoke
kept me company
because it was too hard
to stay sober
when the demons came out
from under the bed
and the brake lights
of passing cars
were reflected on
the naked walls