Amelia

Amelia Dec 2013

I am the reason you know how to spell loneliest.
You are the reason I ache.

This black ceiling I spent hours painting is getting
closer to me.

Is it cold there?
Do you miss me like I miss you?

The harder you hit the water
the further you sink.

Amelia Nov 2013

Generic.

I will never have an adventure like the beautiful people in the movies.
I will never be able to afford cigarettes with a foreign name or silver box.
I will never have the roots of my hair dyed on time.
I will never have a lighter that is completely full.
I will never read as many books as I've convinced myself I have to.
I will never have a house with marble floors and granite countertops.
I will never have a razor that doesn't knick my ankles.
I will never be queen of anything

Amelia Nov 2013

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Amelia Nov 2013

"God, we could've been great."

It's two in the morning
and I'm lying in bed,
listening to the blues
and smoking.
You light up my phone:
"God, we could've been great."

The guitar weeps
and sings me ballads
of lovers lost.

With each exhale,
I hope to rid my system of you.

Something I wrote last night.

Amelia Nov 2013

dull

the air reeks of burnt hair and patchouli
and i am remembering your voice
and i am thinking of the days
when i would open up my skin
to see if there was anything left inside.
and i am drowning,
drowning on my duvet,
fearing that i will resurface.

tw

Amelia Nov 2013

Dusk

I am a child of the sun
and it is night.

Amelia Oct 2013

positive

i love older boys who teach me how to blow
smoke rings in the parking lot
of strip malls.

i love pink clothes and skirts
that hide the lines of my lace
underthings.

i love getting in a car
with someone many inches taller than me
who won't tell me where we're going.

i love cigarettes
and lighters
and their not-so-secret love affair.

i love looking down into the sky
and waiting for gravity to end
so i can fall.

i love playing mind games
with people who are "in love" with me
as sick as it may be.

i love taking teensy pills
that make me feel
tall, tall, tall.

i love being scared
that the manager will find out
that i stole a hundred dollar necklace.

i love all of these things.
but not me.

TW: Drug references.