There are a hundred ways
To say I wish I could go back,
Or I soaked up growing up like a worried sponge
Or I can still smell the dirt on my jeans
Or I don’t even like baseball, but I love the sound of the metal bat against the ball
Or watermelon slices on summer days taste like presents
Or there was iced tea brewing in the kitchen
Or I thought the lions looked happy in their cages
Or the cherry water ice painted my skin red
Or I had an imaginary friend who taught me loneliness
Or we had water gun fights in the front yard
Or we’d ride our bikes til dusk
Or I thought the older boys in the cul-de-sac were cute
Or I thought the older girls double-dutching were cool
Or the hot plastic of a slide against the back of my legs
Or the timid eyeing of the next rock along the creek to jump to
Or the boom of a grandfather clock chiming
Or I could spend eternity swinging by a rope my poppop tied to a tree
Or my grandmother is a magician
Or I used to believe in magic
Or I still do

You crave me being big, the way you make
The bottom of a bag of food look back at you, hungry
For bigger loaves of bread, ******* and bellies,
And for grander cities.
Sit and lean into the future: We’re on a balcony,
No, a cliff -
It’s a city in Greece and the moon is shriveled over
Fluorescent stars, relentless day.
Billy Joel’s older stuff rings around us,
Yesterday’s collected pounds and we stop talking about her
Right then and there, never reminisce again, just
Us, ivory and scallops, ocean breeze and sixty degrees - only.
The daydream city along the Mediterranean smells like Manhattan at the
Right angle, for we dance anywhere, we eat and drink
Everywhere - make no mistakes for the whole day,
Ask the cashier when he last cried and why,
Origami myself into the sky with the look on your face,
Order one more drink if it’s still before 3. If it’s after,
Walk with me, sew cobwebs into blankets,
Pressure morning into holding its breath,
Trick the waves into taking off.
Here we are, the home stretch of having, the needle just above
The running plastic, never touching it,
Nobody noticing.