if i could, i would tell you i love you
every second of every minute of every hour
of every day.
but i'm pretty sure i would pass out.
if i could, i would kiss you everywhere
over and over and over.
but i'm pretty sure i would become
dehydrated.
if i could, i would lie in bed with you
for months and months.
but i'm pretty sure we both would starve to death.
if i could, i would squeeze your hand
and grasp it, with no intention of letting go.
but i'm pretty sure you would
lose a hand.

if i could, i would be your girl, princess, best friend, lover, crazy kitty, *** goddess,
and cuddle buddy.

but i'm pretty sure,
i already am.

My heart’s on fire.

Do you see it? It burns, blazes. Whenever you are near.
If you leave, I will be consumed by the flames. For you are the only one who tames it.
But, but, it could go at any minute…
burst and I would be gone.
But I feel the heat. I hear the crackling. I see the embers glow.

My heart’s on fire.

For you. For you. My love. I hope you see.
You touch and the ember licks the salt from your fingertip
Your lips leave ashes behind
My sweat sizzles upon your tongue
The fire has sprung, has lived, has died, since you arrived
It thrives for you.
It becomes blue and weak when you have left, yearning for the kindle that is your love
You enter, and like a phoenix, I am reborn
And the fire sings to me a happy lullaby

My heart’s on fire.

But your heart is something completely different
Your heart is a waterfall, a sea, a raging hurricane
That clashes with my own
The steam rises between us, and it’s hard to see past the fog
Your cool liquid wraps around me
I feel myself begin to drown

My heart. My heart. Is on fire.
Raging. Burning. Fiery.
But only for you.


For you, my love.

i'm needy.
but i hate saying it.
not once, have i admitted it out loud.
but on paper...at least it seems
somewhat safe.
you see, with the people in the past
they would know
and they would run so far
away
that there was no hope for me
so, i decided to shut the world out
be independent. because love
just wasn't worth it.

but...now i am in need again.
i am in need of you.
i am in need of your kisses.
i am in need of your embrace.
i am in need of your tongue.
i am in need of your laugh.
i am in need of you.
you.
you.
you.

if i said this to you
would you run away?

i'm afraid to tell the truth
but the truth is...

i am needy. i am greedy. i am selfish.
i want you. all the time.
i sometimes think my head is
going to explode
because you are there, always.
my thighs ache.
and i become delusional.
i need you so much.
a day seems like a year without you
oh.
i.
need.
you.

yes, you will call me crazy
yes, you will shake your head
and yes, you will laugh
but i hope you will understand
after all, this is your fault
you started it all
and now, you must take responsibility

you must...no, you have to.
you have to say you need me too.
or i will no longer survive
you have to breathe me in.
you have to be on fire without me.
you have to miss me so much.
you have to realize that no one else
can make you feel so alive.
you have to realize.
because if you don't,
i will fall apart

there is no more rational.
logic has been long forgotten
all i know is
i need your love
i need you.

please say you need me too

i still can't believe it.
i saw you. not in my dreams
not in old pictures.
i saw you. standing. breathing.
living.

a new kind of blood pumped through my veins
i felt myself become
anxious. my heart pounded relentlessly.
i couldn't stop moving.iwasgiddy.

i walked up to you.
you looked at me.

i know when you looked at me, you didn't
really believe it was me.
you did a double take, but with your
eyes.

"hey," i whispered. i was afraid
that my voice would crack,
or squeak,
or be obnoxious.

as your eyes filled with recognition,
your smile became wide.

before i knew it, i was in your arms.

and instantly, memories flooded my mind.
in your arms, i felt for a moment,
sanity and contentment

and, for a moment, i didn't want to let go

when released, you were full of questions,
comments and more hugs

i searched your eyes, finding the same man
i fell in love with,
and i was afraid if i searched further, i would find
something else...
something that would open a wound in my heart
that had recently been stitched back up

you know what's funny?
the first thought that popped in my mind when i saw you was,
"he's alive"

i secretly wanted to grab your arms,
look for the scars that resembled my own

i wish the setting was quiet
and more relaxed
talking, i felt rushed.
i knew you wanted to talk more.

but now, the question
what else do you want?
is it possible for us to be normal?
is this smart? what will happen
when you come back into my life?

you know, i had accepted it

i had accepted the fact that
i would never see you again

i had shut you out and i was
finally ready to move on.

you caught me off guard

when i saw you,
i wanted to laugh.
i wanted to cry.
i wanted to scream.

whole
well, i was. for a while
i counted all the pieces, and all
numbers were counted for.
it's always so suddenly
bam.
the pieces fell away. some out
the window.
some crashed into smaller pieces
around my feet
some pieces shimmered
some pieces were pink
black, dark green, sky blue
some pieces lacked color entirely
i scrambled,
my hands fumbled
my fingers slipped, trying to
pick the pieces
some pieces cut me
and my blood stained them
dark red.

i stare at the broken pieces
and stare

love, *******.
for making me want him so badly
for making me think about him
every second.
for making me his, and only his.
blind. i am blind.
my sense of reality has been distorted.
and.and.and.
i thought i knew better.

love, why this?
i want to die yet
i've never felt more alive
i find tears on my pillow but
my cheeks hurt from grinning
i hate waiting for him but
the moment i see his face,
i am ready to burst

love. what a stupid stupid thing.
but i can't get enough.

love, *******.
love, thank you.
love, really?
love, i don't understand.

love....




i love you.

music. there is no description for it
i could spend endless amounts of time
thinking of every word that fits it
but the only one that fits, for me is
alive.

music makes me feel alive.

bass pounding, words screaming
i wish i could dance all day and all night
the music urges me, it tells me
to sing as loud as i can and
dance as hard as i can
soft guitar, voices whispering
my soul responds with hunger
more. more. more.
the voices penetrate my mind
the rhythm and melody raise goosebumps
tears in my eyes. from pain? happiness?
i don't even care.

lose yourself.
when music is on, i am gone.
i have left this world and entered
another one. a better one.
a world full of endless love and beauty
in this world, anything is possible
in this world, i am sara bareilles
and i have a voice
that angels would be jealous of
in this world, my dance enchants every person for miles
in this world, i dance on top of clouds
and when i sing, music notes float
from my voice in perfect pitch

without music, there is no world
it is empty, dark and
i am lost
instead of color, it is merely
black and white
without music, i am a drug addict
trying to recover
i sweat, i shake and have the urge
without music
there are little memories made
no singing with windows down
no dancing with hairbrush in hand
no songs to sing every word to
without music, there is no feeling
of being alive
no feeling of anger, sadness, and complete
bliss.


music is my soulmate.
my one true love
and we are to live a long
and happy life